Dental Technology is nothing short of miraculous.
Posted on 05/30/2003 7:41:18 AM PDT by w_over_w
In case you need proof that the human race is in series trouble because product manufacturers think we're stupid, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (this is series)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (given some of today’s parent’s . . . probably a good warning)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...Huh?)
That’s it! But let’s conclude this post with a list a things that make you go Hmmmmmmm . . .
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
Internal.
I would, but I'm afraid I'd lose them like I lost my teeth trying to open those stupid packages.
On my wheelbarrow...
NOT FOR HIGHWAY USE.
Thank you Senator Edwards, you saved my life.
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
they only shrink if thrown in the dryer with heat setting on "high". Use a lower setting, like "permanent press"---and no problems!
Action figures sold separately. Add toner. All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity employer. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely...
As Churchill once observed, the length of the document protects it well against the danger of ever being read. Your disclaimer would never wash. The courts would rule that it was too long and not designed to be read by the great unwashed. You would still be found liable. Sorry, good try.
This is sirius
I don't think so . . . that's someone's irus after laser surgery. ;^D
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