'Honey, You Repel Me': Advice For Couples in a Sexless Marriage

Me, I'm waiting for my husand to come home from deployment

LOL...I believe you hon....and G-d bless him for being there!

421 posted on 05/15/2003 10:21:53 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

To: Phantom Lord

Speak for yourself. I have never cared for sex from a woman who was not as enthusiastic as I was. Never..ever.

And we have 2 in diapers.

422 posted on 05/15/2003 10:24:05 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

Ah come on...sexy lingerie is fun.

Thank You G-d for thongs!

423 posted on 05/15/2003 10:25:04 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

Good lord that post you replied to was utter crap wasn't it?

424 posted on 05/15/2003 10:27:46 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

It would appear that those former hunter gatherers have now picked up the ovulation pace a bit wouldn't it?

425 posted on 05/15/2003 10:29:41 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

Can ya really start a response to a thread about sexless marriage with ......On the other hand,...... ?:o)

Stay Safe !

426 posted on 05/15/2003 10:31:19 PM PDT by Squantos (Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.)

You're right. Some women have it and some don't....but in my 45 years I have never met a woman who was what used to be called "frigid". Never.

If you're a counselor then you know it's best to have an idea that both parties are on a similar wavelength sexually and yes...caring for babies does slow things down a bit...maybe 25% or so and any decent man has to accept that.

And a decent woman will appreciate that.

427 posted on 05/15/2003 10:33:22 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

Dog....I'm chasing this thread. I can't believe I missed my two favorite subjects...women and sex...lol

That's what I get for actually working today and taking my wife out to dinner tonight.

428 posted on 05/15/2003 10:34:54 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

LMAO !........Don't let her know yer telling us what ya got for taking her to dinner or you'll be starting a response with "on the other hand" too.....:o)

Stay Safe WD !!

429 posted on 05/15/2003 10:37:16 PM PDT by Squantos (Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.)

Some women have babies and bounce back with little effort.

Some women don't ...no matter how hard they diet or exercise.

Life ain't fair.

430 posted on 05/15/2003 10:37:31 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

Here is a newsflash for ya (from one who struggles with her weight)...your wife knows she's fat. She knows she needs to exercise more. She knows she needs to eat healthier and lay off the ice cream. The last thing she probably needs is the criticism implicit in, "hey honey, how 'bout we go hiking!" If MY husband said that I'd laugh. He's gained quite a bit of weight himself.

Coming from Mr Health Concious You, it practically screams, "You're too fat!" You wife is probably unhappy. She is feeling badly about herself and is discouraged. You can't fix this. Mentioning her weight or appearance at all is not helpful. Show her that you love her NO MATTER WHAT (because you should). Be encouraging of any effort she makes toward good health.

Talk with her. Maybe she just feels lousy and tired and doesn't really know why. Maybe she is depressed. Or maybe she's really angry with you and has found the perfect way to punish you. (Personally, I'd eat a pint of ice cream every time you suggested I go to the gym just to be spiteful.) But the chances are that she's feeling just as frustrated with herself as you are. THAT'S the problem she may need your help with.

431 posted on 05/15/2003 10:38:00 PM PDT by Dianna (space for rent)

Honestly...she was tired. We watched Brit Hume and she crashed and I'm here for a bit.

Big news today...my nearly 3 year old hellion pooped in the potty at home...first time....we ought to bronze it...lol

He was so proud...he refused to flush it away till I got home.

I am very grateful needless to say.

432 posted on 05/15/2003 10:40:25 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

It is true that hormones can cause a lack of desire in a woman but not to the extreme you describe. She has a problem and blames you for not dealing with it. Therefore, you are to go to therapy. You are meant to be loved and have it be expressed sexually. I say if she does not want you it is her problem if you have not inspired negative feelings. The one big element which causes a woman to want any man is RESPECT. If you let yourself be walked on and do not draw lines in the sand, a woman will not respect you. Being nice is one thing. Being walked on is another. As for your reasons for staying, the money and the kids, it is understandable. But you will wish you had left more and more as time passes. If you leave, you are not a failure. Do not base your life on what other people think. Your children will always love you and you will not have much money, but you will not have to beg for love and sex and you won't have to hear every day how you fall short no matter what you do. Make some friends who you can count on and take baby steps to get the confidence to leave, but if you stay, don't lower yourself to ask for sex from someone who dishes it out every seven months. You are worth more than that. (That is my opinion)

433 posted on 05/15/2003 10:42:59 PM PDT by sheikdetailfeather

I was married once, many years ago. Learned quite a bit, will never go into that again without a much, MUCH better understanding of exactly what she is.

After the baby was born, she really changed -permanently. It did not help that My daughter and I bonded immediately, to the point where she preferred My company over the mother's almost exclusively. It angered the mother to the point of rage; after all, SHE was the one who bore the child, not Me. The relationship started rapidly spiralling out of control after that, to the point that in about six months we went on our separate ways.

At that point, not only was I working full time, I was also coming home and cleaning the house, doing the laundry, making dinner, and cleaning dishes afterward. All while carrying our daughter about with Me while I was doing this. Every day. Why, you may ask? Because she was thoroughly exhausted from having to spend all day dealing with a crying baby, and had no energy for anything else! (she would throw at Me) I, being the madly inconsiderate boob that had fallen hopelessly in love with her, agreed to do all the housechores so that she could relax in front of the telly after her excruciatingly trying day -that and the fact that I made dinner because of a self-preservation instinct; she could make charcoal out of water! I tried to teach her some simple recipies, but she would become greatly annoyed with Me whenever I suggested it, and accuse Me of attempting to demean her by pointing out her lack of housekeeping abilities. Eventually, I simply gave up, as I had enough to do to occupy My time.

With the job I had at the time, I was occasionally required to work overtime, and this did not go over at all well with her, who accused Me of actively fabricating reasons to not do "My share" of the housekeeping duties -hers being concerned with taking care of our daughter during the day while I was working. On one occasion, there had been some major difficulty at the plant, and I had arrived home well past midnight. She was awake but with her eyes closed on her side of the bed, and I was so exhausted it was all I could do to peel off My clothes and lay down for some much-needed sleep. I was so drained, I could not even have raised some interest, let alone anything else, if I tried. She, however, was having none of it, and became quite insistant about some performance on My part. I was in extreme pain, I was aching with exhaustion and My eyes felt like they were coated with cobwebs, and when it became apparant that her machinations were of no avail, she went bonkers.

It was by far the greatest row we ever had. She accused Me of being unfaithful to her, of being some type of "pervert" because I had obviously taken matters in My own hand -as it were- when she was not about, of there being something unspeakably odd in a man who did not desire to have sex when his spouse was ready... you think of it, she accused Me of it.

She began calling Me at odd times at work to see if I was there, and calling My boss to see if My claimed work times were indeed correct and if they were actually necessary (he tried to be understanding about it, but I could see that he was not enthused with the phone calls). She even began barging in on Me when I was in the shower or on the loo to see if I was... excersizing My rights, shall we say? It even got to the point that she would grasp Me at odd times in the middle of the night while I was sleeping, sometimes announcing "ha! I caught you!" (she did not).

This is what I endured while I attempted to make our relationship work out, so while I empathise with your dilemma, I can not honestly say that your situation is that bad. I do not say that your spouse is anything less than deplorable, but I think you see clearly enough that you need to sit him down and get several things straight or he will lose you, and that includes sharing of the household duties and helping with the children. I understand that you need to vent, and a forum such as this provides ample opportunity to do so, so I do not begrudge you that. I warn you, however, not to approach it as a set of demands that must be fulfilled, but rather that you and he are partners in the relationship, who love (or used to) one another, and you need his help to make it work. If you approach it with a loving intent and desire to have a fulfilling relationship, with him, you will do much better than hunting him down with an attitude and a bad mood.

I wish you luck.

434 posted on 05/15/2003 10:43:05 PM PDT by Utilizer

To: Reeses; nopardons

You are absolutely full of it.

You are confusing professionally educated with smarts. Not always the same thing.

Just because a brainiac chick gets her 4th MBA and decides to marry her career and not have children doesn't mean the just as smart woman who chooses to marry and have many children is diluting the collective gene pool.

What balderdash!

436 posted on 05/15/2003 10:43:50 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

I think lack of concern for one's appearance can be a part of it.

But, pregnancy, young children, financial woes and hormones (a big one) and simply folks who maybe feel they didn't live enuff before they settled down (particularly for men) also contributes.

A strong spiritual bond and VERY shared goals of the family can help to overcome that.

437 posted on 05/15/2003 10:46:58 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

Kewl ! LOL.........Sounds like a South Park "Mr Hankey" episode.....:o) Hey BTW did ya find the front stuffer that used the 209 (?) primers ??

I am looking at a TC50 that alledgedly uses such a ignition source.

Stay Safe !

438 posted on 05/15/2003 10:49:16 PM PDT by Squantos (Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.)

To: Okies love Dubya 2

5'5" and 118 is hardly heavy dear.

I'm guessing a size 4/5....nothing wrong with that at all...good for you.

My wife had two in a little over 2 years....gained about 25-30 with each....now back to 5'1" and 100 lbs...would like to lose a few more but looks great in those Paper Denim and Cloth lowriser jeans still...incredibly great actually. In her mid 30s.

My ex gained even more weight but she was in her mid 20s and lost it all as well.

Some women are just lucky and some really watch what they eat....just like I do. I'm not as slinky as my wife but no way will I allow myself to be a slug.

Being cuckolded is a scary thing...lol

439 posted on 05/15/2003 10:52:42 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

Not in pistol except the single shot Encore which is considered a "firearm" since it takes conventional barrels so readily.

I am looking to bore out the nipples on my old Army Ruger for better cap dispersal maybe....I think R&D cylinders may have some ideas.

440 posted on 05/15/2003 10:54:58 PM PDT by wardaddy (Faces look ugly when you're alone,,Women seem wicked when you're unwanted)

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