Caption the Official South Carolina Debate Photo for the 2004 Democratic Presidential Field

Free Times of South Carolina ^ | May 1, 2004 | cover art staff

[ewing]

It could use a good photoshop..

[RippleFire]

Where's La Rouche - the fourth largest fundrasier and the one with the most contributors?

Bwahahaha

[Marysecretary]

Democrats talk out of both sides of their mouths. Won't elect a hispanic judge, or a woman judge, or probably the African American judge. Bush has done more for minorities in high places than Clinton ever did but he gets demonized. Go figure. Arrghhhhhhhh!!!!

[Oldeconomybuyer]

These goofs will be bashing President Bush 72 hours after he landed on an aircraft carrier to essentially announce on national TV the end of war in Iraq.

I
R
R
E
L
E
V
A
N
T...

[Sofa King]

[mhking]

Black conservative ping

If you want on (or off) of my black conservative ping list, please let me know via FREEPmail. (And no, you don't have to be black to be on the list!)

Extra warning: this is a high-volume ping list.

[ewing]

Will he ask anything resembling a tough question as moderator, or will he be able to see over the podium? (I know I am kidding myself here)

[Sangria]

Ugly little devils, aren't they?

[Between the Lines]

May 1st the Dixie Chicks in Greenville, May 3rd the demorats in Columbia. A bad week for South Carolina.

[jetson]

" Hit it boys'".."Hmmmmmm"...WE ARE DOMOCRATIC MORONS'"...DEMOCRATIC MORONS' ARE WE"...DA DA DA...

[FourPeas]

Someone obviously didn't proof it. It should read:

The Farce Starts Here

[Tacis]

I thought the NAACP had commanded a boycott of South Carlolina. Did these loyal and faithful dems disregard the will of their masters, or did they pay the fees necessary to get special dispensation?

I would really hate to learn that the dems tried to screw the blacks out of some extortion money.

[Sofa King]

I'm on it :)

[vollmond]

I think we should call them the Mudville Nine.

Casey at the Bat

by Ernest Lawrence Thayer

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville Nine that day;
The score stood four to two with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought if only Casey could but get a whack at that –
We’d put up even money now with Casey at the bat.

But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey’s getting to the bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despised, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second, and Flynn a-hugging third.

Then from five thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, Mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile on Casey’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ‘twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped –
“That ain’t my style,” said Casey. “Strike one,” the umpire said.

From the benches black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone in the stand;
And it’s likely they’d have killed him had not Casey raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, “Strike two.”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered, “Fraud!”
But one scornful look from Casey, and the audience was awed;
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Casey’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville – Mighty Casey has struck out.

Originally published in 1888

[ewing]

Everyone has backed away from the boycott issue except Sharpton, I think.

[Jack of all Trades]

Escapees from the Island of Misfit Toys

[RichInOC]

Forward, backward, inward, outward
Come and join the chase!
Nothing could be drier
Than a jolly caucus-race.

Backward, forward, outward, inward
Bottom to the top,
Never a beginning
There can never be a stop

To skipping, hopping, tripping
Fancy free and gay,
We started it tomorrow
And will finish yesterday.

Round and round and round we go
And dance for evermore,
Once we were behind
But now we find we are

Forward, backward, inward, outward,
Come and join the chase!
Nothing could be drier
Than a jolly caucus-race.

[Our man in washington]

Announcing the formation of the Democratic baseball team.

Leading off, and playing left field, is Dick Gephart. The #2 spot, playing far left field, is Dennis Kucinich. In the third spot, playing even further left field than Kucinich, is Howard Dean. In the clean-up spot is John Edwards, playing left field but slightly to the right of Gephardt. Joe Lieberman will be playing center-left field and batting fifth.

Al Sharpton bats sixth, and will show everyone where you should stand to play left field. Seventh is John Kerry, who will cover whatever part of left field isn't covered by everyone else. Bob Graham will bat eighth, and play shallow left field. Carol Mosley-Braun is in the ninth spot. She will bat ninth and thinks she's playing left field, but hasn't found her glove yet.

Manager Michael Moore is pleased with the team's lineup. "We put nine people in left field and the opposition puts only one. I think that tells the fan who really cares about this game. With those Republicans, you could have something hit to left field that could drop in there and cause major damage. Who would want to root for a team like that?"

When asked about balls that might get hit somehwere else, Moore accused this reporter of trying to distract the fan from the issues the fans truly care about.

[Onelifetogive]

Hey, Sharpton! Get to the back of the line!

What?? It's the South and we're Democrats. That's how we do things!