An updated version of a classic....
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANZ BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
JACQUES CHIRAC
We will veto any resolution regarding non-compliance of the chicken whether it has or has not crossed the road!
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication.
We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome.
Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I s! ay tax d ollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
and last but not least...
The real reason the chicken crossed the road was to get to France.
JERRY FALWELL
LOL!!!
I was smiling all the way through it.........then got to Earnest Hemingway and that one, for some reason (maybe because it was SO serious and 'profound' - coming right after the silliness of Dr. Seuss) cracked me up. LOL!
Baghdad Bob can also be credited with saying that.
This was posted by GretchenEE on the Day in the Life thread
JACQUES CHIRAC We have no comment on chickens, the chicken industry, who makes or who is denied profits from them, and how the roads got built, which contractor might or might not have skimmed profits from the construction contract, or which came first, the chicken guilty of producing the egg, or the egg, which should have been terminated before it could overpopulate the chicken world (God knows, there are already too many chickens afoot!) before it became a burden on French society. We have no comment on the pharmaceutical industry which strives so hard to maintain quality of life for all the chickens who are unfairly forced to have to rear a full brood of chicklets. Finally, we do have one comment on the future of chickens in France. These fowl creatures are henceforth barred from living here. There have been too many painful allusions for us to continue to harbor such a creature in the great state of France, which will never surrender to such insults
Why is everybody talking about chickens?
Even on the Dose they're talking about chickens!
The creatures breed like, like
LOL!