Can Al Franken save talk radio

Jewsweek ^ | 2-26-03 | Benyamin Cohen

[far sider]

Give me 4 months on the Dead pool, by the way.

There's a pool? Nobody told me there was a pool. In that case I take 8 months. Six months for two or three of the hosts to get caught with unzipped pants in a porno house, or get blown away by an unbalanced lover, or some other scandals and then two months for the final ultimate crack up.

[par4]

This is the finest piece of satire written about liberals and talk radio yet. My sides are going to hurt for days.

On a more serious note, all this is a logical response to Campaign Finance Reform. Dems are suddenly realizing that they won't be able to put their money into campaigns as they were before, so they are looking for alternative ways to promote candidates. 10 million dollars to start up, get a bunch of left wing "pundits" and some advertisers and, viola!, instant campaign commercials that avoid all the rules and regulations.

Look for this to happen bi-annually, with new "shows " starting up around 9 months before elections and failing shortly after the elections end. Two years later Dems will find new voices (Al Franken will be replaced by someone else who will bring another perspective to the debate, a fresh voice etc.) and it will begin again.

If CFR is found unconstitutional, look for the network to fail much more quickly as donors put their contributions money back into soft money accounts.

I will now remove my tinfoil hat, thank you for your attention, you've been a wonderful audience.

[Dionysius]

He couldn't save a Green Stamp. He's supposed to be a comedian and he's not funny! When he falls flat on his face, and he will, it's going to register on the Richter scale.

[freebilly]

Think of it as NPR on steroids. While conservatives tend to be men with Manilow on their turntable, the new network will hope to plug into the liberal leaning college co-ed crowd. Already in unison protesting a potential war with Iraq, Franken will provide these legions with a voice. Plus, the expected Hollywood backing will add glitz to the glory.

However, more than just the man and the message, the medium itself may present a problem. It's a fact: College kids do not listen to talk radio. Old white men do.

Agitprop Radio-- All Lies All The Time with Music by The Rolling Stones, a Band of Old White Men. Hosted by Al Franken, An Old White Man who is Not a Palestinian. Funded by an Old White Man and his Old White Wife, both of whom are NOT Palestinians. Supported by Ex-Presidents Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, two Old White Men, one of whom was the first Old Black Man to be President.

And backed by Old White Men George Clooney, Sean Penn, Richard Gere, an Old White Man who plays an Old White Man President on TV, and Sheryl Crow (an aging White Woman whose breasts are the same size as those of an Old White Man's).

This show will compete for the same small pool of listeners with NPR, a Radio station funded mainly by tax dollars taken from Old White Men....

[Hillary's Folly]

Al Franken is a 4-Eyed Little Twerp (and a Bedwetter)

[Doomonyou]

But I would definitely try to answer the Rushes and the Hannitys. But I refuse to do it by cheating and distorting."

Yeah, Right! I noticed he didn't include lieing in that sentence.

[way-right-of-center]

Let me offer another substrata of college life. One that may be unique to God's Country (the South)...

There were a bunch of us that were partiers, but despised the left-wing activists that we felt were what was wrong with the campus and the country. Even went so far as lobbing baloons filled with foul smelling substances into thier gatherings. We had just discovered Rush, and he was telling us How Things Ought to Be. Every day we would exit class, partake our chemical of choice, and listen to Rush. I grew up to be a pretty good conservative. So there are some right wing college kids out there, they just don't make much noise.

[way-right-of-center]

Let me offer another substrata of college life. One that may be unique to God's Country (the South)...

There were a bunch of us that were partiers, but despised the left-wing activists that we felt were what was wrong with the campus and the country. Even went so far as lobbing baloons filled with foul smelling substances into thier gatherings. We had just discovered Rush, and he was telling us How Things Ought to Be. Every day we would exit class, partake our chemical of choice, and listen to Rush. I grew up to be a pretty good conservative. So there are some right wing college kids out there, they just don't make much noise.

[Cyber Ninja]

It will be the AM radio’s commercial free network!

[way-right-of-center]

Very good observation.

[freebilly]

Total fantasy. I remember being a nonaware college student. It is not a natural state of life. If you are the serious type, all you think about are your grades and preparing for your future. During your lunchtime you either study or seek a few moments relief by listening to some music.

Yep. I was a graduate student from 1979-1981. I vaguely remember that there was a hostage crisis going on. I vaguely remember a guy named Reagan getting elected, but I was too busy attending seminars led by Old White Men and Women whose real color was RED to give much of a rip about what was happening in the real world at the time....

[Migraine]

Here's the biggest irony: Imus is hilarious, but he isn't a comedian; Rush is a riot, but he isn't a comedian. It is true of both because when you shovel a lot of truth with a twist of twinkle, it can be uproarious -- like a good editorial cartoon. The key, though, is that truth has to be at the core of it.

Trouble with Franken is that, while he IS a comedian, he ISN'T funny, simply because he lacks the prerequisite, fundamental truth. People who are on his same, lying wavelength may laugh themselves further into their own little world -- but it IS a little world, because most people need and want some truth in the mix. And methinks that the mass media want to target a much larger world, if only to make a buck and thrive on it. Not so with the likes of NPR, PBS, the Bill Moyers crowd. They can have a narrow audience and get away with it, because Uncle Sugar is footing the bill.

Don't forget: this is the same schmuck who, when Bilk Linton and Hill A Reek Linton had plenty to make fun of, could only bring himself to suck Bill's duck while trying to paint the truth-seeking world as prudes.

[Moby Grape]

Franken almost single handedly caused the demise of Saturday Night Live...can anyone doubt that the year of so with Franken as a main component of SNL, was the worst of times for the show....it was NOT funny...he is NOT funny.....As the book title said, "Al Franken Is A Buck-Toothed Moron."

[Celtjew Libertarian]

Bump to read later.

[TC Rider]

I give it six months.

You are way more generous than most radio general managers.

Try six weeks.

[way-right-of-center]

NEWS FLASH! I just consulted Dionne Warwick on this...

Al Franken's next book, due out in late 2003 will be titled:
"I Was a Crappy Radio Talk Show Host"