Are you a beardist? (BE SENSITIVE ALERT)

BBC News ^ | November 18, 2002 | BBC News

[MadIvan]

Did you go to see the new Harry Potter film over the weekend? You could have been unwittingly supporting beardism, say facial hair campaigners.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets may seem like a spot of harmless family fun, but the film could set back the cause of beard wearers at a vital time of year for the long-suffering hirsute man.

The Beard Liberation Front (BLF) objects to the "obviously false" facial hair sported by Robbie Coltrane and the late Richard Harris in the fantasy movie.

Such "end of a broom" fakes give beardists ample ammunition to taunt bearded men, who are particularly targeted for abuse in the run-up to Christmas.

History of beards:

• Beards, fake and real, were fashionable in ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome
• 4th Century BC: Alexander the Great ordered his soldiers to shave to avoid having their beards seized during combat
• 1587: Sir Francis Drake boasted to Elizabeth I that his raid on Cadiz harbour "singed the King of Spain's beard"
• 1895: William Gillette's invention of safety razor put beards in greater peril
• 1960s: CIA said to have considered using depilatory on Castro to rob "El Barbudo" of his famous beard

"The Santa season is the worst time of the year for beard wearers," says Keith Flett, driving force of the BLF. "The taunts from children and comments we get from White Van Man get worse."

While the BLF let the first Harry Potter film open without protest, the continued lack of real beards in the second instalment has prompted it to call a boycott. Well, almost.

"Some BLF supporters said they would be given hell by their children if they weren't taken to see Harry Potter," says Mr Flett, who since his teens has worn a "Karl Marx" beard (once cruelly called a "garden gnome affair" by the Evening Standard).

"Now we're just asking our few hundred supporters to hiss and boo when the fake beards come on the screen."

Though the BLF admits its rather shambolic boycott is "light-hearted", there is a serious side, says Mr Flett.

It is argued that beard wearers not only face mockery in the streets, but more entrenched discrimination - so-called "beardism".

Labour Party strategists advised Frank Dobson to shave off his beard if he wanted to win the 2000 London mayoral election. He told them to "get stuffed", and lost.

>B>Get ahead, lose the beard

Coincidence? A survey in the image-conscious United States suggested bearded politicians polled 5% fewer votes than clean-shaven opponents.

A beard can also be a bar to holding even humble posts, like manning the supermarket deli counter. In 2001, an employment tribunal upheld Waitrose's right not to employ bearded men on food counters because facial hair posed a "significant" health risk to customers.

Beardism is also permissible in TV adverts, said the Independent Television Commission when it dismissed 25 complaints about a commercial suggesting the perfect world would be free of facial hair.

"The content of the advertisement was too far-fetched to be taken seriously and unlikely to cause deep or widespread offence," the ITC ruled.

However the Home Office has reportedly woken up to beardism, asking its managers to consider prejudice against facial hair as a form of discrimination.

Beards have ritual significance in several religions, a symbolic importance which has come into sharper focus in the wake of 11 September.

Following a spate of racist attacks, some American Sikhs reportedly shaved to avoid being mistaken for Muslims, who bore the brunt of public anger about the al-Qaeda terror attacks.

Free to shave

The Taleban's much-vaunted enthusiasm for facial hair meant that when the regime fell, Afghan men celebrated their freedom to shave again.

Taleban and al-Qaeda suspects taken by the Americans to Camp X-Ray also lost their beards involuntarily - something criticised by some observers of the detention camp.

Beard facts

• Men have about 15,000 facial hairs
• Beards grow about five inches a year

Even in more normal prisons, inmates are fighting for their beard rights. In California, Orthodox Jews and Muslims are opposing a ban on facial hair - imposed after a prisoner fooled guards and escaped San Diego County jail by removing his customary beard.

The BLF says its campaign doesn't stop at the chin. It is defending the rights of all people not to be judged on their appearance or forced to dress and groom in a way dictate by others.

So the BLF defends anyone's decision to hid their face under whiskers? "Well, it might help our cause if Richard Branson shaved his beard off," says Mr Flett.

[MadIvan]

Damn! I've been rumbled ;-) Imp! Remember, I'm on your side of the Atlantic at the moment ;-P

Folding arms across chest...remaining silent...teeth gritted.

[Desdemona]

You two are just too cute.

[Mr. Silverback]

Bump for later reading.

[Wednesday's Child]

My husband grew a beard with the promise of shaving it off when our first child was born. My first born is now 31 years old!
Neither of my kids has ever seen him beardless. I have, but it was in 1970! lol

[uglybiker]

Good, you'll be drinking it alone after your cold shower.

Aw jeez! You didn't tell me your dad was on the forum!

[MadIvan]

Aw jeez! You didn't tell me your dad was on the forum!

Bzzt! Wrong answer! Would you care to try the Double Jeopardy round where the scores can really change?

Sharpening the disembowelling knives

Ivan

[uglybiker]

Sharpening the disembowelling knives

You sure about that? Bringin' knives to a gunfight don't sound like a wise choice to me.

[MadIvan]

You sure about that? Bringin' knives to a gunfight don't sound like a wise choice to me.

Here I was being nice, you caught me in a generous mood. Never mind, that can soon be amended.

Ivan

[Redcloak]

This discussion is starting to get hairy.

[Happygal]

Eh? Isn't dualing just a bit passe boys?

First one at the ready with a corkscrew wins round one! ;-)

[uglybiker]

I have a black one in the kitchen and a red one in the saddlebag on the bike (honest!).

Which color dost the lady prefer?

[Happygal]

I have a black one in the kitchen and a red one in the saddlebag on the bike (honest!).

*L*..a corkscrew on the bike? No kidding! Anyone ever lecture you about the drink driving before? ;-)

[schmelvin]

Uh Oh! I saw that coming a mile away.

Uglybiker: Happygal will never ever dump MadIvan for you. You totally blew it when you offered her a Reisling. Happygal's Irish, and I'm sure MadIvan wisely keeps his fridge stocked with Guinness. :-)

Happygal: You're visiting the US? Cool! I haven't read about any, um... er... "incidents" in the papers so you must be behaving yourself (or covering your tracks really well!) Hehehe.

Beardism. That's a new one. A tongue in (bearded?) cheek issue for us, but soon to be taken up as a serious issue by CAIR no doubt.

BTW, my hubby has a full-faced (non-"Starbucks loiterer") beard that he keeps neat and trimmed. I think it looks great on him. I used to think I preferred the clean shaven look, until my hubby grew his first beard. He can shave it off if he wants; it's his face. But, I hope he doesn't.

[Happygal]

Happygal: You're visiting the US? Cool! I haven't read about any, um... er... "incidents" in the papers so you must be behaving yourself (or covering your tracks really well!) Hehehe.

Actually, I'm in Canada at the moment - the original home of the bearded man by all accounts. And as for behaving myself?...well, umm, erm..it's a bit hard to get up to anything when it's -10 outside! ;-)

[schmelvin]

-10! Yikes! I bundle up like an eskimo when the thermometer hits 50.

So... Your alibi is "Weather Induced Behavior Modification"? I'll have to remember that one next time I'm stirring up loads of trouble in Fargo. LOL!

Sorry, Officer. Couldn't have been me. See the goosebumps? (Shivers for dramatic effect.) Besides, the lampshade on my head doesn't fit the description of the lampshade the perp was wearing at the time. ;-)

[Mr. Silverback]

I was once hinted at to trim my beard because my boss had read a study that showed businesswomen are less likely to buy from a man with a beard. He maintained it would give me psychological advantage.

I responded that the beard drives my lovely young wife wild, and that gives me plenty of psychological advantage. ;-)

The beard's still on...

[MadIvan]

I responded that the beard drives my lovely young wife wild, and that gives me plenty of psychological advantage

I can't honestly say my beard has driven a lady wild before. It was a good litmus test on an ex-girlfriend who said she didn't like "hairy guy" kisses.

I think psychological advantages come from things like having a wife mad about you, it's all in your head - if a beard brings that all well and good. I grew my beard actually because I got a cut on my face and I couldn't shave for a while. Since then I've kept it.

Regards, Ivan