Are you a beardist? (BE SENSITIVE ALERT)

BBC News ^ | November 18, 2002 | BBC News

[MadIvan]

Did you go to see the new Harry Potter film over the weekend? You could have been unwittingly supporting beardism, say facial hair campaigners.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets may seem like a spot of harmless family fun, but the film could set back the cause of beard wearers at a vital time of year for the long-suffering hirsute man.

The Beard Liberation Front (BLF) objects to the "obviously false" facial hair sported by Robbie Coltrane and the late Richard Harris in the fantasy movie.

Such "end of a broom" fakes give beardists ample ammunition to taunt bearded men, who are particularly targeted for abuse in the run-up to Christmas.

History of beards:

• Beards, fake and real, were fashionable in ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome
• 4th Century BC: Alexander the Great ordered his soldiers to shave to avoid having their beards seized during combat
• 1587: Sir Francis Drake boasted to Elizabeth I that his raid on Cadiz harbour "singed the King of Spain's beard"
• 1895: William Gillette's invention of safety razor put beards in greater peril
• 1960s: CIA said to have considered using depilatory on Castro to rob "El Barbudo" of his famous beard

"The Santa season is the worst time of the year for beard wearers," says Keith Flett, driving force of the BLF. "The taunts from children and comments we get from White Van Man get worse."

While the BLF let the first Harry Potter film open without protest, the continued lack of real beards in the second instalment has prompted it to call a boycott. Well, almost.

"Some BLF supporters said they would be given hell by their children if they weren't taken to see Harry Potter," says Mr Flett, who since his teens has worn a "Karl Marx" beard (once cruelly called a "garden gnome affair" by the Evening Standard).

"Now we're just asking our few hundred supporters to hiss and boo when the fake beards come on the screen."

Though the BLF admits its rather shambolic boycott is "light-hearted", there is a serious side, says Mr Flett.

It is argued that beard wearers not only face mockery in the streets, but more entrenched discrimination - so-called "beardism".

Labour Party strategists advised Frank Dobson to shave off his beard if he wanted to win the 2000 London mayoral election. He told them to "get stuffed", and lost.

>B>Get ahead, lose the beard

Coincidence? A survey in the image-conscious United States suggested bearded politicians polled 5% fewer votes than clean-shaven opponents.

A beard can also be a bar to holding even humble posts, like manning the supermarket deli counter. In 2001, an employment tribunal upheld Waitrose's right not to employ bearded men on food counters because facial hair posed a "significant" health risk to customers.

Beardism is also permissible in TV adverts, said the Independent Television Commission when it dismissed 25 complaints about a commercial suggesting the perfect world would be free of facial hair.

"The content of the advertisement was too far-fetched to be taken seriously and unlikely to cause deep or widespread offence," the ITC ruled.

However the Home Office has reportedly woken up to beardism, asking its managers to consider prejudice against facial hair as a form of discrimination.

Beards have ritual significance in several religions, a symbolic importance which has come into sharper focus in the wake of 11 September.

Following a spate of racist attacks, some American Sikhs reportedly shaved to avoid being mistaken for Muslims, who bore the brunt of public anger about the al-Qaeda terror attacks.

Free to shave

The Taleban's much-vaunted enthusiasm for facial hair meant that when the regime fell, Afghan men celebrated their freedom to shave again.

Taleban and al-Qaeda suspects taken by the Americans to Camp X-Ray also lost their beards involuntarily - something criticised by some observers of the detention camp.

Beard facts

• Men have about 15,000 facial hairs
• Beards grow about five inches a year

Even in more normal prisons, inmates are fighting for their beard rights. In California, Orthodox Jews and Muslims are opposing a ban on facial hair - imposed after a prisoner fooled guards and escaped San Diego County jail by removing his customary beard.

The BLF says its campaign doesn't stop at the chin. It is defending the rights of all people not to be judged on their appearance or forced to dress and groom in a way dictate by others.

So the BLF defends anyone's decision to hid their face under whiskers? "Well, it might help our cause if Richard Branson shaved his beard off," says Mr Flett.

[HairOfTheDog]

Now if we could just get those Hobbit Women to shave their feet....

I am not sure whether to call this blasphame! - Or admit that I shave my feet... What is a girl to do?

[HairOfTheDog]

Now if we could just get those Hobbit Women to shave their feet....

Ladies... Vim here is suggesting a potentially radical idea... Is it proper for a hobbit lass to shave her feet?

[ksen]

What is a girl to do?

Shave and don't tell....

[ErnBatavia]

[wimpycat]

Never was a George Clooney fan, but I admit he's worth some chafed cheeks!

[rightwingreligiousfanatic]

I take it back, ladies, I wouldn't want you to cut yourselves.... try this instead... And it even comes with a precioussss...

[CyberCowboy777]

I run with a Balbo w\ long sideburns, the Hollywoodian, just the sideburns or sideburns with the "tab" (center directly under lower lip)

It all depends on my mood.

[duckbutt]

In the 20+ years I've known my hubby, he's only shaved his beard off twice -- both for job interviews. Once he got the job(s), he grew the beard back. Good thing, too......he looked too much like his sister when he didn't have the beard. I told him he had to grow it back ASAP as kissing him was like kissing his sister...too wierd.......

[RMDupree]

Hobbit Thread Hijacking In Progress PING! LOL!!

I actually posted a drawing of a hobbit lass with shaved feet some time back. No one noticed her feet because she rather well-endowed elsewhere. ;)

[geege]

Oh thats too funny....a sponge......did anyone ever tell him he looks like a "muff diver"??????

[uglybiker]

C'mon, admit it! You like an unshaven guy 'cause mustache hairs tickle!

Or, more importantly, where they tickle!

(He said whilst flashing an evil, mustachioed grin and and running for cover...)

[areafiftyone]

ROFLMAO!!!

[Happygal]

C'mon, admit it! You like an unshaven guy 'cause mustache hairs tickle! Or, more importantly, where they tickle!

Damn! I've been rumbled ;-)

(He said whilst flashing an evil, mustachioed grin and and running for cover...)

Imp! Remember, I'm on your side of the Atlantic at the moment ;-P

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

I went without the "tab" on my Balbo for a while, but I didn't like it.

It's nice to have work for your thumb and forefinger to do...whilst pondering the imponderables.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Hhmmmm, you don't see fairies, er, I mean Elves with beards.....

While it is possible to find a fairy with a beard, you'll not find one on a faery.

[doug from upland]

It's part of my identity. I've had a beard since 1972.

[uglybiker]

Imp! Remember, I'm on your side of the Atlantic at the moment ;-P

Got a cold bottle of Reisling in the 'fridge waiting. >;-)

[CyberCowboy777]

It's nice to have work for your thumb and forefinger to do...whilst pondering the imponderables.

lol....so true

[Robert A Cook PE]

I don't understand what all the fuzz is about....

Doesn't Micheal look so much more handsome and manly before he cut "his" new beard? 8<)

http://www.strangecosmos.com/view.asp?PicID=6994

http://www.strangecosmos.com/view.asp?PicID=6981

[MadIvan]

Got a cold bottle of Reisling in the 'fridge waiting. >;-)

Good, you'll be drinking it alone after your cold shower.

The British stare of Utter Mayhem, Violence, Murder and Desolation

Ivan