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USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002
68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

Posted on 11/17/2002 11:43:07 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub

Military Jokes & Humor

Camouflage Uniform Wear Policies


MARINES: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

ARMY: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.

NAVY: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship.
(Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)

AIR FORCE: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons
and colorful squadron patches all over them.

An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral are all sitting around discussing whose's service is better and whose troops are the bravest?
The Admiral (well into his second or third ice tea) announces to the group, " My SEALS are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossiple" as he raeches for the phone.
Well the other two commanders are in an uproar and each one promply calls for his best soldier.
When all three representives have arrived, the Admiral states "Since it was my idea, I'm first" and turning to the SEAL, he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark infested waters, climb up that shear cliff and return with with 2 bird eggs... unbroken of course.".
The SEAL (being the highly trained soldier that he is) turned runnig towards the cliff. After performing a triple-linddy into the water, the SEAL swam across the 10 miles (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs back over to the Admiral and hands him the 2 unbroken eggs.
The Marine General says "that wasn't nothing," and turning to the Force Recon Marine he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff,then move across the 4 miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back 2 eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."
And with that the Force Recon moved-out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the 2 eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the General, the Marine hands him the eggs.
The Army General then says "Very nice gentlemen, but heres true bravery" and turning towards his BEST (an Airborne Infantryman), he says "I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, thru the 4 miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back 2 eggs from the forest on the other side."

The Paratrooper looks at the General, then the cliff, and again back to the General, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR!", renders a proper hand salute and walks away.


The General turn towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says
"Now gentlemen, thats BRAVERY."


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Announcements; Extended News; Foreign Affairs; Free Republic; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: michaeldobbs; usocanteen
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To: LaDivaLoca
You did it. You found good military jokes. Thanks for looking, thanks for finding, and thanks for sharing.
281 posted on 11/18/2002 9:46:02 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
Bttt!
282 posted on 11/18/2002 9:49:34 PM PST by LifeIzGood
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To: LaDivaLoca
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...A-10

You are on a roll. ROTFLMAO!!

283 posted on 11/18/2002 9:52:01 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: Kathy in Alaska
"Last process running, but it needs babysitting. Maybe 45 more minutes."

I hope you will be getting a good nights sleep tonight.
Please make sure you pae yourself.
Thank You for All you do to honor the military and vets.
*HUG*
284 posted on 11/18/2002 9:54:23 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: bentfeather
I love the Husband Shopping, ms feather. Now, that, is funny!!
285 posted on 11/18/2002 9:55:03 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: Kathy in Alaska
pae = pace
286 posted on 11/18/2002 9:56:27 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: GeekDejure
Evenin' Geek. Nice to see you.
287 posted on 11/18/2002 10:00:38 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: Johnny Gage
Thanks, Johnny, for today's airplane history of the Thunderchief. What is the long, sharp thingy coming out of the nose of the plane used for?
288 posted on 11/18/2002 10:07:01 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: bentfeather
Beautiful horse picture, ms feather.
289 posted on 11/18/2002 10:09:07 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: Kathy in Alaska
For your after work dinner



*HUG*
290 posted on 11/18/2002 10:29:12 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: MoJo2001
OK, so I caught up a couple hours after your bedtime. Sleep well, Kiddo. Please thank your hubby for his service to our country and to you, a Navy wife. Thanks for the music for our troops. Something for everybody.
291 posted on 11/18/2002 10:32:20 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
Looks good. I'm out the door. Thanks.*HUG*
292 posted on 11/18/2002 10:39:55 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA; 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
Just got on, gotta go soon, don't know if anyone answered your question...

The American Legion is the organization that is chartered in most areas to perform flag retirement ceremonies. The VFW will also do this occasionally.

HJ
293 posted on 11/18/2002 10:46:20 PM PST by HiJinx
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
DING DING, DING DING, DING DING
294 posted on 11/18/2002 10:58:35 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: Kathy in Alaska; All
"DING DING, DING DING, DING DING"

Good Night All
Thank You for your support for the military and vets.
God Bless and Protect our military and our allies military.
God Bless You All
295 posted on 11/18/2002 11:42:45 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
Good night, sleep well, and thank you for your service to our country, both those years ago, and now in the Coast Guard Auxiliary and the Canteen. Have a good Thursday.


296 posted on 11/18/2002 11:53:31 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: aomagrat
My dad did 6 months in Nam.
He brougnt back a plaque and hung it on the wall.
It had FBI in big letters on it.
When I took a closer look I saw (Forgotten Bastards in Indonesia) in smaller letters.
297 posted on 11/19/2002 12:01:38 AM PST by freedom9
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To: All
Time for bed. God Bless all our troops, their families, our veterans and our Canadian and Israeli allies. We pray for your safe and soon return. Thank you for doing the jobs you do to keep this UNITED STATES OF AMERICA safe. We love all of you.


Thank you Lurker, Toby, Tom Cat, Kyle, Joe, Jake, the Z-Tar, Sneakers, Scully and the Pirates, Brook, Leatherneck Rangler Jody, Cory, Jimmy, Winky, Chez, Martin, John, David C, Parker, Michael, Smitty, David, and Carol for being part of our family. Thank you to all who enter the Canteen. Salute!

A PRAYER OF PROTECTION

The light of God surround you

The love of God enfold you

The power of God protect you

The presence of God watch over you

Wherever you are, God is,

And all is well.

Amen.

And thanks to Scully and the Pirates, TSgt Munnell, Peter and Greg for your support.

Wherever you are, God is, and all is well! Amen.

298 posted on 11/19/2002 1:39:07 AM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: freedom9
Thank you, freedom9, for stopping by the Canteen today.


299 posted on 11/19/2002 1:41:29 AM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub; SassyMom; MistyCA; SAMWolf; Kathy in Alaska; JohnHuang2; AntiJen; COB1; ..
Showing NOW !!:

Leonids starring tonight in the sky

I just stepped outside here in the Piney Woods on the lake in East Texas. Facing the east, with my back to the full moon, I checked out the show. NICE ! I even saw a DOUBLE - two almost simultaneously in the same part of the sky.

Anyway, it's a beautiful show here !

300 posted on 11/19/2002 2:55:17 AM PST by MeekOneGOP
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