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USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002
68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

Posted on 11/17/2002 11:43:07 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub

Military Jokes & Humor

Camouflage Uniform Wear Policies


MARINES: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

ARMY: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.

NAVY: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship.
(Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)

AIR FORCE: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons
and colorful squadron patches all over them.

An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral are all sitting around discussing whose's service is better and whose troops are the bravest?
The Admiral (well into his second or third ice tea) announces to the group, " My SEALS are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossiple" as he raeches for the phone.
Well the other two commanders are in an uproar and each one promply calls for his best soldier.
When all three representives have arrived, the Admiral states "Since it was my idea, I'm first" and turning to the SEAL, he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark infested waters, climb up that shear cliff and return with with 2 bird eggs... unbroken of course.".
The SEAL (being the highly trained soldier that he is) turned runnig towards the cliff. After performing a triple-linddy into the water, the SEAL swam across the 10 miles (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs back over to the Admiral and hands him the 2 unbroken eggs.
The Marine General says "that wasn't nothing," and turning to the Force Recon Marine he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff,then move across the 4 miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back 2 eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."
And with that the Force Recon moved-out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the 2 eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the General, the Marine hands him the eggs.
The Army General then says "Very nice gentlemen, but heres true bravery" and turning towards his BEST (an Airborne Infantryman), he says "I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, thru the 4 miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back 2 eggs from the forest on the other side."

The Paratrooper looks at the General, then the cliff, and again back to the General, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR!", renders a proper hand salute and walks away.


The General turn towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says
"Now gentlemen, thats BRAVERY."


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Announcements; Extended News; Foreign Affairs; Free Republic; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: michaeldobbs; usocanteen
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To: Kathy in Alaska
Those two like hanging out in the Canteen for some reason!

Nonie 2 says HUGS Kathy
261 posted on 11/18/2002 8:53:07 PM PST by Soaring Feather
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
Mr. MoJo has some stuff he'd love to share as far as military jokes go, but I've told him NO! I don't think anyone would wonder if this thread was pulled that it would be HIS FAULT for it. I can't believe Sailors know those kind of jokes. LOL!
262 posted on 11/18/2002 8:54:43 PM PST by MoJo2001
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To: MoJo2001
They say HUGS
263 posted on 11/18/2002 8:55:43 PM PST by Soaring Feather
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To: tomkow6
Tomkow that is funny
Hey I hearing lots of Elvis resets on Binny LOL!

Well late news off AFP wire WH think Saddam playing game with UN Inspectors

YOU THINKKKKKK DUDE
264 posted on 11/18/2002 8:57:32 PM PST by SevenofNine
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To: The Mayor
Great Post!
Thanks for stopping in to show support for our military and vets.
Your post shows that vets never forget duty to country.
265 posted on 11/18/2002 9:00:31 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: Ragtime Cowgirl
"The genie let out a long sigh and said, "Lemme see that map again."

Ragtime, perfect! ROTFLMAO!!

266 posted on 11/18/2002 9:02:20 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: tomkow6
"What's the difference between Elvis and Osama bin Laden? "

LOL!!!! Brother!
267 posted on 11/18/2002 9:04:55 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: LaDivaLoca
Thanks for supporting the military!
*HUG*
268 posted on 11/18/2002 9:07:00 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: PhilDragoo
Thanks for your daily visits to the Canteen.
269 posted on 11/18/2002 9:08:37 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: The Mayor
Thanks TM. It is so very sad that the only one standing for our colors is the gentleman in the wheelchair. We must teach our children about the sacrifices that our military, both past and present, have made, and continue to make to keep us free.
270 posted on 11/18/2002 9:12:13 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: Pat Bateman
Tank Crossing! I love it. And thank you, Sir, for your service to our country.


271 posted on 11/18/2002 9:16:20 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: MoJo2001
"I can't believe Sailors know those kind of jokes."

I wouldn't know anything about jokes like that. LOL
272 posted on 11/18/2002 9:17:03 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: LaDivaLoca
LaDiva, those European signs are hilarious.

"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."

LOL! I think you are right; some of our troops and vets have surely seen some of these signs.

273 posted on 11/18/2002 9:21:45 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
"Does the VFW still accept old flags to be burned or will we need to do that ourselves?"

Yes, also check with the American Legion.
Thanks for stopping in.
Your post just said a lot to the military lurkers.
*HUG*
274 posted on 11/18/2002 9:22:12 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: PhilDragoo

Candles for Ted Maher and his family.

275 posted on 11/18/2002 9:23:12 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: GeekDejure
Evening!
Thanks for stopping in!
276 posted on 11/18/2002 9:24:08 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: LaDivaLoca
LaDiva, you find the best graphics for our military guys and gals. Thank you so much for sharing.
277 posted on 11/18/2002 9:25:38 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: LaDivaLoca
"#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"

No matter how many times I hear this, it always brings laughter.

278 posted on 11/18/2002 9:32:57 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: Kathy in Alaska
Are you still at work?
279 posted on 11/18/2002 9:39:30 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
Yes, Sir. Last process running, but it needs babysitting. Maybe 45 more minutes.
280 posted on 11/18/2002 9:44:05 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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