USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002

68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Military Jokes & Humor

Camouflage Uniform Wear Policies

MARINES: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

ARMY: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.

NAVY: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship.
(Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)

AIR FORCE: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons
and colorful squadron patches all over them.

An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral are all sitting around discussing whose's service is better and whose troops are the bravest?
The Admiral (well into his second or third ice tea) announces to the group, " My SEALS are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossiple" as he raeches for the phone.
Well the other two commanders are in an uproar and each one promply calls for his best soldier.
When all three representives have arrived, the Admiral states "Since it was my idea, I'm first" and turning to the SEAL, he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark infested waters, climb up that shear cliff and return with with 2 bird eggs... unbroken of course.".
The SEAL (being the highly trained soldier that he is) turned runnig towards the cliff. After performing a triple-linddy into the water, the SEAL swam across the 10 miles (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs back over to the Admiral and hands him the 2 unbroken eggs.
The Marine General says "that wasn't nothing," and turning to the Force Recon Marine he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff,then move across the 4 miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back 2 eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."
And with that the Force Recon moved-out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the 2 eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the General, the Marine hands him the eggs.
The Army General then says "Very nice gentlemen, but heres true bravery" and turning towards his BEST (an Airborne Infantryman), he says "I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, thru the 4 miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back 2 eggs from the forest on the other side."

The Paratrooper looks at the General, then the cliff, and again back to the General, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR!", renders a proper hand salute and walks away.

The General turn towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says
"Now gentlemen, thats BRAVERY."

[Soaring Feather]

Good Evening
*HUG*

thank you

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Thanks for the daily pics of the ships Brother!

[Kathy in Alaska]

No gators, thank goodness. Are they where you can see them to avoid them?

[Kathy in Alaska]

Welcome to the Canteen, poohbah. I bet a few of our Marines will be able to relate to the lumber story. And thank you, Sir, for your service of our country.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Cute pics of the kids!
Thanks for posting them!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Thanks, mhking, for stopping by the Canteen.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Thanks for the humor today!

[Kathy in Alaska]

"No, sir - He was a MARINE!"

Very good, Pat. Thanks for stopping by today.

[mhking]

Glad to swing by! Thanks for the warm welcome!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Glad you stopped in today, stand watie.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Welcome to the USO Canteen Brother!

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Thank You for stopping by to say hi to our military lurkers.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Thanks for posting some humor for our military to read!
Welcome to the USO Canteen!

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Thanks, Kathy. :^D I was wondering how you give an Arab a "wedgie", lol!

Thanks to our wonderful men and women in the military.

[Kathy in Alaska]

"When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?"

Hmmmmmmm...........

Thanks B4, lots of hmmmmmmmmmm's here.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Ragtime, I love that, Tali-tubby! That picture it too funny!

[southerngrit]

Regarding Gators:

We don't get the 'granddaddies' in my neighborhood, but the guys on the street get all warm and fuzzy when little 2-footers wander away from the lakefront down the road. Makes our men feel like mighty hunters, I guess - every man and boy for blocks around gather together to stalk the little babies (lol). (They don't hurt them - they just toss them back in the lake).

On the other hand, we are noted for having a Creole Nature Trail which runs towards Cameron. Lots of classic critters in their natural element - the tourists love it.

Louisiana is a wild and beautiful place.

[Valin]

The Air Force NCO sits in an easy chair in an air-conditioned office, and says, "My e-mail's out? What kind of sh*t is this?"


Air Force, We send the officers out to fight.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

"is there a new canteen each am? And if so, when do we traditionally say Good Morning?"

Welcome to the USO Canteen!
Yes there is a new thread each day. It can be posted anytime between midnite and 6AM PST.
I've added you to my ping list so you'll know when it gets posted.

You really summed up why we gather here each day in your post below.

If it helps for our folk in uniform out there, a whole lot of us day-to-day citizen types who look around and just say, "thank God for our guys and gals in uniform who do so much more than we can!"

[GeekDejure]

tennnnnnnnnSHUN !!!

Attention all Vets, all FReepers, and all non-whaco Lurkers . . .

Enthusiatically Salute the Almighty Creator God !!!

Now . . . Enthusiastically Salute President George W. Bush !!!

Then . . . Enthusiastically Salute Your Beautiful, Brilliant, Magnificent, Patriotic, Free Selves !!!

Oak Hay . . . At Ease !!! ;-))