USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002

68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

[Kathy in Alaska]

Thank you, IG, for stopping by to honor our troops, both past and present.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Amazing photo of destruction, and such loss of life. Thanks, aomagrat, for today's ship history of the USS Maine.

[Kathy in Alaska]

You find the best cartoons, Meekie. Thanks! I don't suppose your investigative skills could find Sunday's Marvin, could they. Hint, hint. LOL!

[Kathy in Alaska]

"he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

Oh my gosh! LOL! I can just see our troops groaning over this one. Thanks for posting it for them.

[Soaring Feather]

Hey you guys monkey shining around???

[Kathy in Alaska]

"Sonny's Bar-B-Q--Tank Parking Available."

I love it, Dubya, LOL!

[Jen]

Please remove me from all your ping lists. Thanks.

[southerngrit]

Thanks to all who visit here today for your service to our country.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good grief!!

The co-pilot of a single-engine aircraft plunged from the plane as it made a steep turn 9,000 feet over the Houston area.

Thanks, Meekie, pretty weird story.

[HiJinx]

Good day to you, too!

Doing fine today, thanks. Just dropping in from time to time to see how things are going...be back later!

[Soaring Feather]

"Soldiers Like Him"

Dubya, thank you for posting this, it's absolutely beautiful, tears streaming down my face as I listend and read.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Thanks, Valin, for today's history. And I love the Thought for the Day.

"If we were intended to talk more than we hear, we'd have two mouths and only one ear."

[Kathy in Alaska]

What a cool little train. Looks like fun.

[Soaring Feather]

I love trains, whooooo hooooo! I have just the outfit for it to.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Gamecock, those military brat remembrances are hilarious, and I'll bet that lots of our troops can relate. Thanks for sharing.

[larryjohnson]

Humor in Uniform
The Toilet Paper Bombing Run
by Joe Diblin
Early during WWII, we were stationed at an airbase in Tennessee where we trained B-24 Liberator pilots and flight instructors. Newly married, we finally found a rental single room in a southern widow's home about 15 miles from the base. Life in the area at that time was the ultimate in frustration. Thousands upon thousands of Army ground troops were on maneuvers there. They overwhelmed us; they were everywhere. Tanks, trucks and soldiers clogged the streets and roads. The ground pounders camped everywhere, in the local park, on our widow's lawn, or wherever they found an open spot.
    Our landlady added to the frustration by renting the only downstairs bathroom to the Army guys for 50¢ a bath. They lined up in big numbers, which limited our opportunity to use the bathroom. My personal frustration reached a peak when some soldiers pilfered my new golashes from outside our door. That time of year, golashes were a necessity for the area.
    At that point, we became revenge motivated. We happened to overhear the base supply sergeant tell my aircraft crew chief he had received a huge shipment of toilet tissue, but had a limited storing place for it. At my request, the sergeant gave me a whole bale of the toilet rolls. Planning my next flight, we confided in the crew chief, who readily agreed to cooperate in the "mission."
    We were aware of a huge Army encampment a brief flight distance from our airbase. Our four-engine Liberator arrived over the encampment at noon as planned. Circling overhead, we could see long columns of soldiers in several chow lines, being fed from outdoor kitchens. The entire scene was an ideal target for a revenge-motivated flyboy. Setting near full power on all four engines, we brought our big bomber roaring down along treetop level with the bomb doors open. A sea of startled faces looked up at us. At my signal, the crew chief "bombed" the troops with our huge number of toilet paper rolls. The ground soldiers panicked and ran for cover. At our speed, it was difficult for me to see many more details. However, the crew chief had a good view through the open bomb doors and provided us with his enthusiastic description. Fortunately, in the excitement, nobody got our aircraft number because we were never reported by the Army guys.

[HiJinx]

A coupla more, these come from About.com

The four scariest phrases ever heard in the military are:

The E-1 who says, "I learned this in Basic Training..."

The O-1 who says, "Based on my experience..."

The E-5 who says, "Trust me, Sir..."

The E-9 who chuckles, "Watch THIS sh*t..."

Even more scary:

A Pfc with a badge and a gun.

A 2nd lieutenent with a map.

_________________________________

About.com Photo Captioning Contest Winners...

1st. "Geez, these friggin' lowest- bidder contracts! Pull-Start my @$$!!!!"

2nd. OK listen up airman i been doing this fer years I don't give a lick what the book says what ya need ta do is this.. you put the thingyma jig here in the whirly gig.. then ya put a pinch of whatchama call it on the whojiggy and she will be GOOD TO GO!

3rd. Dang, it would be *THAT* rubber band that broke.

[Johnny Gage]

I don't have much in the way of military humor so I whipped this up as a "spur of the moment"....

Santa's ground-based "Taliban Gift Delivery System"

_

Santa's airborne "Taliban Gift Delivery Vehicle"

[Kathy in Alaska]

Hi Tom and Lily, HiJinx said it real well. The Canteen is a place where any and all can gather each day to honor our troops, our veterans, their families, and our allies. Tonkin starts a new thread each day and all who wish to encourage our troops are welcome to bring them a joke, a prayer, a word of encouragement, or just the news of the day. We know that active duty military are able to lurk here, and enjoy hearing about life at home. They are able to come to the Canteen and feel like it is a "home away from home", a pleasant time away for the jobs they do in protecting all of us back home.

Please join all those who enter the Canteen to honor our troops. Thanks HJ. Gotta get back to work.

[Soaring Feather]

The four scariest phrases ever heard in the military are:

LOL, funny stuff HiJinx!!