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My song Parody: "50 Ways to Steal an Election"
Last Week | John R.

Posted on 11/05/2002 10:24:59 AM PST by New York Republican

The problem is liberals turning RED, it seems to me. The solution is easy: only vote for G-O-P! Dems want to sabotage our struggle to stay free. There must be, 50 ways to steal an election.

They claim their philosophy is just not to intrude. Au contrare, we know that their intent, cannot be misconstrued. So I'll repeat myself, the Dem tactics are quite crude. There must be 50 ways to steal an election. 50 ways to steal an election.

Just register gravestones Knock off some Wellstones Go sign up some felons Vote early, in threes

Hop on the bus, Gus Not a citizen? Don't fuss! Just tell them your name's Lee And vote for me.

Use the racial-card tact, Jack Try the Senior scare plan again Don't need a butterfly ploy, Roy Call McAuliffe, toll free! (866-VOTE-411)

So get on the bus, Russ Free cigs and mixed nuts! Just push on the big 'D" And your dinner is free ----- They say the Torch was toast and Clinton felt his pain So then they sent in Terry, to put the Senate in play again Dems said, they appreciate that, and would you please explain About the 50 ways?

They told old Lautenberg to sleep on it overnight And that when the morning comes he'll begin to see the light And he farted, cleaned his dentures and woke up ready to fight He must be 50 years past prime and then some... 50 ways to steal an election

Be a partisan hack, Jack Give a junkie some meth, Seth Use the Medi-scare ploy, Joy Gotta love AARP! Lot's of folks are dumb, Chum So get out there and find some Just scare 'em to vote "D" And we'll be "home free"

Oh hey, that reminds me Homeless shelters are real key And look under some big trees Hand out fake ID's Pile 'em onto the bus, Gus Don't need to discuss much Just a pack of smokes free If they say they'll vote "D"


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Crime/Corruption; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 50ways; cheat; democrat; humor; parody; stealelection

1 posted on 11/05/2002 10:25:00 AM PST by New York Republican
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To: New York Republican
So cute!
But also scary, but true.
2 posted on 11/05/2002 10:32:19 AM PST by NEWwoman
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To: New York Republican
Hope you paid all your warrants and parking violations before going to the polls today, NYR!

;)

3 posted on 11/05/2002 10:38:42 AM PST by MurryMom
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To: New York Republican
Wonderful! Let's reformat:

The problem is liberals turning RED, it seems to me;
The solution is easy: only vote for G-O-P!
Dems want to sabotage our struggle to stay free.
There must be, 50 ways to steal an election.

They claim their philosophy is just not to intrude.
Au contrare, we know that their intent, cannot be misconstrued.
So I'll repeat myself, the Dem tactics are quite crude.
There must be 50 ways to steal an election.
50 ways to steal an election.

Just register gravestones!
Knock off some Wellstones!
Go sign up some felons!
Vote early, in threes!
Hop on the bus, Gus!
Not a citizen? Don't fuss!
Just tell them your name's Lee,
And vote for me!

Use the racial-card tact, Jack!
Try the Senior scare plan again!
Don't need a butterfly ploy, Roy!
Call McAuliffe, toll free! (866-VOTE-411)
So get on the bus, Russ!
Free cigs and mixed nuts!
Just push on the big "D"
And your dinner is free!

They say the Torch was toast and Clinton felt his pain,
So then they sent in Terry, to put the Senate in play again.
Dems said, they appreciate that, and would you please explain
About the 50 ways?

They told old Lautenberg to sleep on it overnight,
And that when the morning comes he'll begin to see the light,
And he farted, cleaned his dentures and woke up ready to fight!
He must be 50 years past prime and then some...
50 ways to steal an election.

Be a partisan hack, Jack!
Give a junkie some meth, Seth!
Use the Medi-scare ploy, Joy!
Gotta love AARP!
Lot's of folks are dumb, Chum!
So get out there and find some!
Just scare 'em to vote "D"
And we'll be "home free"!

Oh hey, that reminds me -
Homeless shelters are real key!
And look under some big trees!
Hand out fake ID's!
Pile 'em onto the bus, Gus!
Don't need to discuss much -
Just a pack of smokes free
If they say they'll vote "D"!

4 posted on 11/05/2002 10:41:27 AM PST by Dems_R_Losers
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To: New York Republican
That is really good.
5 posted on 11/05/2002 10:51:32 AM PST by KC_Conspirator
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To: New York Republican
Yes, perfect.

Somewhere CHADS need to be included.

"Just punch the right Chad, Thad..."
6 posted on 11/05/2002 11:22:50 AM PST by gopno1
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To: Dems_R_Losers
Tears-in-my-eye BUMP! 8-)
7 posted on 11/05/2002 11:40:58 AM PST by Lou L
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To: New York Republican
Great election humor! Thanks! I hope we don't have to "sing it" tomorrow, though!
8 posted on 11/05/2002 11:47:47 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: MurryMom
Hey, MUD, before you ride your bicycle to the polls today, please make sure that your rent and all of your parking tickets are paid, and that there are no outstanding warrants out against you. Sure wouldn't want to see any harm befall a nice old geezer like yourself.

Your friend, MM. ;)

9 posted on 11/05/2002 11:54:36 AM PST by MurryMom
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To: MurryMom
All,
While NY Republican joins the other Republicans in nationwide celebration, he is nevertheless quite sad that Marilyn O'Grady did not beat the incumbent McCarthy here in Long Island. :-(
L.I. is supposed to be Republican country and yet against all national trends, districts 1, 2, and 4 went the wrong way. WHAT the F--- is up with that?
10 posted on 11/06/2002 2:50:21 AM PST by New York Republican
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To: Lou L
Hey there...
Here's another song parody: WHIP IT (Pelosi)

Crack that whip!
Pelosi is a trip
Partisan hack...
"Bring the 60's back"
Baba Streisand sings a song
you must whip it
public says the Dems are wrong!
you must whip it
uh-oh something's going wrong
you must whip it
now whip them
into shape
lib them up
invoke hate
go forward
GOP's ahead
try to deflect it
it's not too late
to whip em
whip em good
When the R's will save the day
you must whip it
Partisan, but what the hey..
unless you whip it
dems won't get their way
until you whip em
So whip it
Whip it bad.
11 posted on 11/07/2002 7:35:51 AM PST by New York Republican
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