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Everyone's favorite activist is back in the spotlight. She's obviously not happy with President Bush and she doesn't appreciate the "War On Iraq" and I'm sure you are "feeling her pain". So? Who is this Diva of Disgruntled Opinions? It's none other than Susan Sarandon. Remember her as "The Slut" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show? She believes that our war has nothing to do with regime change, but the need to take advantage of all that oil. I'm so glad she's "concerned" for the "average America". We don't seem to have enough organizations, spokespersons, and pundits for that job. Nope, we need another one. Of course, we should take her "serious" because she's doing a "Bull Durham" with resident nitwit Tim Robbins. So? If you can't get a real job, definitely consider becoming an actress/actor in Hollywood these days. It requires absolutely no ability to think or speak. It also doesn't require that you support America. After all, that is frowned upon. Supporting America is " inconsiderate and rude" and it's definitely insensitive to the the world's dictators. So? MoJo wonders when we will see her leave the country. Isn't it amazing that she is able to freely speak forth hate towards our country and President? Isn't it amazing that she wouldn't be able to do this in Iraq? Of course it isn't amazing. This is exactly the freedoms that she has as an American because someone died for it. While she sure as hell isn't worth it, all of you out there are defending her rights. She is not worthy, but you fight anyways. God Bless you for it! I would have just chucked her off to Siberia and let her rot there. At least, she could have put her role in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" to good use. 
Hillary Clinton thinks America should know that President Bush was "selected as President" rather than elected. She also wants you to know that President Bush and his "cronies&; are "ruthless and vindicative" people. Now before you hurl at your computer! Keep in mind that she is actually an expert when it comes to knowing what a ruthless and vindicative administration would look like. After all, almost every person that came with them from Arkansas--ended up dead or in jail. Is that not wonderful? Also, there wasn't probably any woman in Arkansas that Bill didn't want to "bang" except of course her, Chelsea, and his mother. Every other woman was open season. If she's insulting President Bush about not being elected to President, what does that say about her "carpetbagger status"? The next time you watch this woman on television keep a few things in mind. First, your animals and children are not safe around her or your husband. Second, if Hillary could screw over her mother to gain power--she'd do it. Third, she'd screw over your mamma as well. Fourth, Miss quot;stand by her blubber butt man" should be the last person in the world complaining about President Bush. She needs to look no further than...Hmmm...um, have you seen Blubber Butt lately? Either have I! Today's "JACKASS AWARD" goes to none other than the "FOREHEAD", Paul Begala. While I can tell you that the above mentioned notables, Hillary and Susan, were in strong contention; it's all Paul. Paul Begala, as many of you can remember, was the twin of James Carville and also the mouthpiece of that Blubber Butt Slick Willie. Remember those horrendous years? Anyways, Paul Begala is terribly distressed by the "cheating and manipulation " that those mean Republicans are doing this election cycle. (MoJo wonders how hard the nurse dropped his sorry butt at birth) He believes that the Republicans are trying to "scare seniors, minorities, and good decent Americans" out of voting in the election. Paul Begala lives in a world that none of us live in. It's called "The World Of Clinton Denial". He hasn't gotten over the fact that the better man won the last election. He can't get over that the people that vote for the Democratic party were too stupid to read a name correctly on a ballot or understand how to use a voting stylus. As a matter of fact, he's upset because the FEC (Federal Election Committee) is actually doing it's job this time around. Hmmm....wonder why that is? Paul is a miserable man in need of some help from the Hair Replacement Club. He realizes that his party can no longer get away with visiting cemeteries, making up people that don't exist, and hustling minorities without being busted. So? When he talks about being disgusted, he's merely talking about himself. For this, MoJo awards him "The Jackass Award" for today. Congratulations you mindless knucklehead. Never fear troops! The implantable chip is now available for a low price of 200 bucks. Also, you have to pay a doctor for the injection of it. And like everything else--it has a monthly charge. Woohoo!! Can you imagine the great things you could do with that? Anyways, the company that makes the chip is spending a lot of dough to promote their product. Their slogan? "GET CHIPPED"!! They were going to use "GET IMPLANTED", but their internal studies showed that most people thought they were promoting a new line of condoms. So? They decided against that. Of course, this new piece of technology has alarmed Christians. (MoJo's mother swears it is the beginning of the Biblical end days) So? How are they alleviating the fears of Christians? They are trying to buy adds in Christian broadcast stations on televsion, radio, and print. (MoJo thinks this is a waste of money. Mamma MoJo will just pray they go out of business) If that didn't compound problems, there's another group that are very annoyed. Those "civil libertarians" are worried that prisons could use this to torture prisoners. (MoJo thinks most taxpayers would actually support this) In the end, it comes down to this for me. If you have such a hard head and your brain waves are completely off the charts like MoJo's, it doesn't matter what modern technology produces. Frankenstein has nothing on MoJo. 
Remember Walter Mondale? Well, it looks that he will be the Democrat's replacement in Minnesota after the tragic death of Senator Paul Wellstone. It wasn't bad enough that he was actually a Vice President in this country. Nor bad enough that he actually ran for President against President Reagan. Nope, the Democrats think they have a good chance of winning in Minnesota with him. Consider that the only state that Mondale won in that election landslide slaughter was Minnesota. Oh! He won the District of Columbia. (That's an automatic for a Democrat.) Anyways, they want to recycle this has been in order to win in Minnesota. MoJo wonders which is more disgusting: The Minnesota voters actually electing him or him wanting to be elected. So? You take Minnesota, New Jersey, and cheating by Democrats in at least 3 other states..it will make for an interesting election cycle. God help us all!  
Elin Nordegren and Kultida Woods are the two ladies you see above. So? What do they have in common?? Tiger Woods! Elin is Tiger's current girlfriend. Kultida is Tiger's mother. It seems that the two don't seem to get along. Hmmmmm....I can't imagine why! Can you? \ NEWSFLASH!! Yasser Arafat, Fidel Castro, Osama Bin Laden, and Saddam Hussein STILL SUCK! By the time you read this, Emmitt Smith will probably replaced Walter Payton at the top of the NFL record books for the most rushing yards. I am not a big Dallas Cowboys fan, but I am a big fan of Emmitt Smith. What he does on the field is rather insignificant compared to what all of you do to defend America. However, I'm sure there are many big fans of his among you. I just wanted to take time out to offer a CONGRATULATIONS. He promised his mother that he would finish his schooling and get his degree and he did it. He has kept his faith in God while still pursuing the highest levels of professional sports. He's not one to toot his own horn. We already have enough of those type of people in this world. He just quietly goes about doing his business. There should be more professional athletes like Emmitt Smith. For every Randy Moss, there's an Emmitt Smith that exists. Thank God for the rest of us!! 
WOOHOO Can you say "TAHITI"? Here's to hoping that all of you will get to experience paradise real soon!!
Thank you for going along for the ride
at the Useless Tidbits Corner
Thank You
and
G-d Bless Our Troops
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