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Baby Makes Two: A Decade Later, "Murphy Brown" Examples on the Rise
Boston Globe ^ | October 17, 2002 | Cindy Rodriguez

Posted on 10/17/2002 3:49:42 AM PDT by Jim Noble

Edited on 04/13/2004 2:08:26 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]

Karen Gratiano did the bar scene, wine-tastings, fix-ups, blind dates, even Internet dating. But after a series of failed relationships, and going through dozens of ''toads,'' Gratiano found herself alone at 35.

Marriage could wait, she thought. But having children couldn't. That biological clock was ticking.


(Excerpt) Read more at boston.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: fatherlessness; singlemotherhood
"Karen Gratiano did the bar scene, wine-tastings, fix-ups, blind dates, even Internet dating. But after a series of failed relationships, and going through dozens of ''toads,'' Gratiano found herself alone at 35"

Well, after the bar scene and a series of failed relationships-what would anyone expect? Anyone who finds a husband, and a father for her children this way is extremely lucky-and extremely rare.

1 posted on 10/17/2002 3:49:42 AM PDT by Jim Noble
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To: Jim Noble
I said, `None of us knows what he looks like!'''

How is she going to feel telling that to the kid about 6 years from now?

2 posted on 10/17/2002 3:55:13 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne
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To: Jim Noble
But then I explained that I did this on my own and explained that I used donor sperm...

Obtained from some masturbating derlict wino who got paid a couple of bucks for his "donation."
Ewwwwww!

3 posted on 10/17/2002 4:03:42 AM PDT by ppaul
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To: Jim Noble
yep.it's nto really a child, it's a posession, something to add to the jewell collection.

wonder what is gonna happen when the kid gets into it's teens...
4 posted on 10/17/2002 4:04:00 AM PDT by camle
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To: camle
>>wonder what is gonna happen when the kid gets into it's teens...<<

Well statistically (as you know)-if it's a girl, she will probably get pregnant. If it's a boy, he'll probably be in jail.

The outcomes of single motherhood (statistically, please do not post anecdotes) are so bad that it should be illegal.

And the political outcomes are worse than the personal ones-massive increases in dependency and a political constituency for same.

5 posted on 10/17/2002 4:11:05 AM PDT by Jim Noble
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To: Jim Noble
that's what I thought. lets give this sterling example of unselfish motherhood its' proper due.
6 posted on 10/17/2002 4:13:40 AM PDT by camle
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To: Jim Noble
"Karen Gratiano did the bar scene, wine-tastings, fix-ups, blind dates, even Internet dating. But after a series of failed relationships, and going through dozens of ''toads,'' Gratiano found herself alone at 35"

Mayhap there is something wrong with Karen???

7 posted on 10/17/2002 4:18:09 AM PDT by Dacus943
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To: Dacus943
So, Karen created another Karen.
8 posted on 10/17/2002 4:21:39 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks
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To: Jim Noble
Well, this may all be fine if she has a girl just like herself.

I'd like to see her handle a hostile 15-year-old boy, just like the one that my husband and I deal with 24/7. My son needs BOTH of us if he is to ever come out of his teenage years in one piece.

9 posted on 10/17/2002 4:22:46 AM PDT by jaybee
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To: Jim Noble
Progress is being made in artifcial wombs. At some point the state won't need parents anymore.
10 posted on 10/17/2002 4:26:28 AM PDT by Cacique
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To: Dacus943
Dozens of "toads"? This says more about Ms. Gratiano than about her dates. Feminism has instructed millions of women that they are superior to those awful males who just think with their groin. My experience is that there are plenty of toadettes out there. The reality is that most people have a little toad in them. No doubt by setting impossible standards and countless narrow hoops for her "toads" to jump through, she conveniently convinced herself that no man was good enough for her. I'm lucky to have a good woman as my girlfirend and future wife. We both realize that we fall far short of perfect.
11 posted on 10/17/2002 5:40:02 AM PDT by driftless
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To: Jim Noble
and now a 61/2-month-old daughter, Stephanie, to complete her life.

Me me me me me me me ME!. What happens when she finds out it is a thinking human being, rather than a cute Furby-esque kind of pet?

12 posted on 10/17/2002 5:47:11 AM PDT by ikka
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To: Jim Noble
Pop culture is also reshaping the public debate, without the furor that swirled when Quayle made his remarks. Today, unmarried mothers are all over television: Miranda Hobbes from HBO's ''Sex and the City'' and Rachel Geller of ''Friends'' both gave birth this year. So have Ellenor Frutt of ''The Practice'' and Viveca Foster of ''Family Law.''

''The roles are changing,'' said Jane Bock, a former sociologist who first studied the issue 20 years ago with women who struggled with employers, day care centers, and even sperm banks, many of which denied unmarried women access to purchase donor sperm. ''They have altered the way we look at this issue because they've been successful as single mothers. They are legitimizing single parenthood as an appropriate life choice.''

Surely, they're not citing examples of "success" based upon finctional TV characters, are they? Maybe they need to make a TV show that's more realistic, one in which the single mom has barely a five-figure salary, rents a single bedroom apartment, and struggles to find someone to help care for the child so mom can go to K-mart for a new pair of shoes.

13 posted on 10/17/2002 6:41:03 AM PDT by Lou L
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To: Jim Noble
Interesting comments by all.

I have a counter-argument, however. Mind you, I don't know this woman at all (none of us do), but it is still a reasonable point.
What if she *sucks* at finding a guy who is good husband material, but has enough self-esteem to reject the losers she meets who are not? I know of far too many women who can't tell the difference, and married the first jerk to cross their paths, and have kids with those jerks. Are you all supposing that a woman who knows enough to not get involved with a jerk wouldn't be a good mother?
I'd personally rather see a single mother (who knows enough to avoid getting involved with a jerk of a guy) raise a child than a mother who is willing to have and raise children with a man who is an abusive jerk.

14 posted on 10/17/2002 7:00:29 AM PDT by Locked and Loaded
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To: Lou L
>>Surely, they're not citing examples of "success" based upon fictional TV characters, are they?<<

Er, yes-that's exactly what they're doing.

15 posted on 10/17/2002 7:12:40 AM PDT by Jim Noble
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To: Lou L
>>? Maybe they need to make a TV show that's more realistic, one in which the single mom has barely a five-figure salary, rents a single bedroom apartment, and struggles to find someone to help care for the child so mom can go to K-mart for a new pair of shoes<<

A "more realistic" show would have her daughter raped and killed by her boyfriend, or have her son in a gang. The single mom you describe, rather than typical, sounds like one of the more successful ones-part of the single mom elite, if you will.

16 posted on 10/17/2002 7:14:34 AM PDT by Jim Noble
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To: Jim Noble
Mother: Let me introduce you to my bastard...
17 posted on 10/17/2002 7:14:46 AM PDT by The Truth Will Make You Free
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To: Locked and Loaded
>>Are you all supposing that a woman who knows enough to not get involved with a jerk wouldn't be a good mother?<<

I think having a child without a father absolutely and without exception defines a bad mother.

And you are setting up two mutually exclusive categories: "knows enough to not get involved with a jerk" and "wouldn't be a good mother", when, in fact, women have more choices than these.

18 posted on 10/17/2002 7:18:14 AM PDT by Jim Noble
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To: Izzy Dunne
A child without an on-scene dad is like a lifeboat without a paddle. I know this is true from personal experience. Being stuck with an often-absent professional mom without dad was very tough on us three kids. When dad finally reappeared, after ten years absence brought on by their divorce, we laid the blame on her, not on him, and really benefited from his delayed, disciplined, but good, "fatherhood." All three of us admit we got much more guidance from dad and our step-mom than from our single mom.

Everyone is different, however, but I'm convinced that dads are absolutely needed in spite of the feminazi claims to the contrary

The arrogance and asininity of these females that get pregnant and have no dad for the kid is a sure disaster for the poor kids. Most are relegated to nannies and organized child care institutions with all the potential of growing up to hate their moms. How ironic is that?

19 posted on 10/17/2002 7:31:46 AM PDT by Paulus Invictus
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To: Jim Noble
Now, at age 36, she says she has everything she's ever wanted: great job, six-figure salary, her own house, wonderful friends, a supportive family - and now a 61/2-month-old daughter, Stephanie, to complete her life.

And if Stephanie's lucky, she may spend one or two waking hours of "quality time" with her "mother" every week. Hooray for daycare!

20 posted on 10/17/2002 7:37:09 AM PDT by Sloth
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