She Used to Be So Nice! (NYMag claims Rosie Mag Circ Plummeted Because Rosie Came Out!)

New York Magazine ^ | September 30, 2002 | Simon Dumenco

[Timesink]

She Used to Be So Nice!

Rosie O'Donnell's magazine partner, Gruner + Jahr, got dumped. Now all it wants is a good cry, a pint of ice cream, and a supportive group of girlfriends -- straight girlfriends, that is.

By Simon Dumenco

Apparently, nobody told Gruner + Jahr that when the woman who once meant everything to you dumps you, you should take pause before sending out a revenge letter. Last week's scathing It's over memo, issued after Rosie O'Donnell pulled the plug on her namesake magazine, had all the quivering-upper-lip indignation of a psycho ex-girlfriend: "It is truly shocking and disappointing [translation: We feel so betrayed!]. . . . It is unfathomable to us [The selfish bitch!]. . . . Rosie cannot simply ignore that obligation [This can't be happening!]."

G+J, the memo went on, felt like it was "caught in the maelstrom of Rosie O'Donnell apparently abandoning her past. She has walked away from her television show, her brand, her public personality, her civility [You . . . you . . . you changed!]." It fell short of saying that she also ditched her standard-issue Florida-mom hairdo, but the subtext was clear: Rosie turned all mean and dykey on us.

The thing is, the lesbian thing really did make a difference. When Rosie came out, G+J hoped that America wouldn't care. But something had to have precipitated Rosie's staggering newsstand decline -- from the 800,000s last year to as low as 200,000 this spring.

When you no longer have a TV show to convey your "brand value" -- cutie-pattootietude -- you become what the tabloids have decided you are. And the tabs decided O'Donnell had become scary.

SEX CHANGE FOR ROSIE? Globe recently asked while critiquing her new lopsided buzzcut. And really, that unfortunate 'do (which I thought the National Lesbian Coordinating Committee had retired back in 1982) signaled that Rosie was set on having an extended f### you moment. Like many gays who come out late in life, she's finally working through her angry adolescence.

The irony is that the publication that G+J will inevitably launch from Rosie's ashes will certainly be yet another pseudo-lesbian publication -- not in the Sapphic sense but in a world-without-men way. McCall's (Rosie's predecessor) was for women who wanted a reprieve from their withholding worse halves. Rosie, likewise, mostly ignored men. But the fact that O'Donnell reportedly wanted to make Mike Tyson a cover boy suggests that after years of faking a crush on Tom Cruise, she's got a ways to go in figuring out what middle-American women care to discern about masculinity.

When she was closeted, her readers could join in the joke that cookies and kids are way more fun than guys. But now that she's intent on affecting the posture of a loud, rude sexual outlaw -- well, maybe G+J's right: She changed. (Okay, I'm sorry 200 people are out of work, but relieved that she gets to be a real person again.)

In the end, perhaps the most pathetic thing about the Rosie affair is that G+J felt the need to insist that it's still got its shit together. You could almost sense G+J collectively touching up its streaked mascara as it declared that it's "been very successful at attracting a vital audience for this type of magazine."

We're still a smart, beautiful company -- anybody would want us. Except for one Artist Formerly Known As Nice.

E-mail: sd17@aol.com

[IronJack]

Looks like "Lesbian Chic" is destined for the trash heap. I mean, how chic is it to emulate Rosie O'Donnell? She's the poster child for frumpy, abrasive, and dim-witted. And most lesbians already have those traits down perfectly.

Anybody with good taste would give her a wide berth. In fact, they'd give her the whole Pullman. And she'd need every inch of it!

[Paul Atreides]

I think she appealed to a certain type of woman (let's face it, her audience was predominantly women). She is not attractive, she doesn't have a great figure, she's dysfunctional, etc. How could you watch her and not feel superior (other than her bank account)? There are a lot of people who will swallow any line of feel-goodism, no matter the source. Just look at Disney.

[pfflier]

Let's see. Ellen "comes out" and her show tanks. Rosie "comes out" and her magazine tanks. Trend or coincidence

And Ellen's ex-girlfriend goes straight, gets married, has a baby and now her career flourishes. Those unfeeling American consumers appear to be voting with their dollars!!

[catonsville]

And Ellen is the new recurrent center square on The Hollywood Squares show.
It is an odd choice and will doom the show.

[50sDad]

The Ellen Show, when it first came out (ouch, scratch that) debuted was genuinely funny, because it was an ensamble comedy of several funny cast members. But when the ratings didn't peak, they dumped the good characters and it all became about me, ME, ME! (They screwed up the old "Doc" show, the one with Bernard Hughes, the same way. Great show, disappears for the summer, comes back with only one of the main actors!)

I liked Rosie in "League of Our Own", in the boyish female ball player. But gradually, as I aged, I discovered that usually, most often, the boyish girls ARE lesbians. (What a sad discovery! I was really pissed when I found out the actress in "Dobie Gillis" turned out to be a carpet muncher.) It does make you feel a bit betrayed.

Still, you can hold your breath until you turn blue before any of the mainstream limp-wristed media come out and say, "Hey! The public generally doesn't want homosexual characters on their television." You will note that last season the broadcast media and the cable shows had 16 characters in production that were gay or transexual, and this year it is down to 8. Something else you won't hear...

[Sacajaweau]

I'm now inclined to believe that Rosie "adopted" to use the tyke for promoting her agenda and for no other reason.

Does she love the kid..likely 'cause that's what kids do best...give free love. Rosie is only a "taker" though out to promote homosexuality and uses the kid as a "commercial".

Sac

[Charles Henrickson]

Rosie announces the launching of her new magazine . . .

Bitter Homos and Garters

[sneakypete]

I'm still scratching my head as to how Rosie O'Donnell came into that level of success in the first place.

Simple. Her biggest talent is kissing celeberty ass. When she tells a guest,"I'm a big fan of yours",she means this literally. "Stars" have huge egos to start with,and you can never go wrong with one by sucking up to them. Rosie got her start eating Madonna's carpet,and that got her in the movies and mainstream attention. If it hadn't been for Madonna,she would still be living at home and working for minimum wage. She's not very smart,and she's not very funny.

[sneakypete]

I'm now inclined to believe that Rosie "adopted" to use the tyke for promoting her agenda and for no other reason.

Yup,she wanted to pretend she was a "normal mom". I don't know if it's true or not,but there were rumors going around that the reason she started butting heads with the magazine editors was because she wanted to turn the magazine into a showplace for homosexual adoption. Seemed like every cover ofthat mag that I saw had her photo on it.

Does she love the kid..

"THE" kid? She has at least 3 now. She had one more,but returned the little girl when she discovered she had bought faulty merchandise.

Rosie is only a "taker" though out to promote homosexuality and uses the kid as a "commercial".

You got it,"Lookit me! I'm NORMAL!"

[ShorelineMike]

I cannot believe there is a person in America, not in a coma, who didn't already know that she's a lesbo.

As a gay man, I'm convinced that Rosie "came out" because the only people who hadn't figured out that she was a lesbian were the people who watched her show.

Lesbian or not, I'm still scratching my head as to how Rosie O'Donnell came into that level of success in the first place. She seemed grating, unfunny and insincere as a talk show host.

See above.

[Old Professer]

A bear has no reason to go over the same mountain twice.

[fight_truth_decay]

She stopped having to kiss *** the day she came out.

[pfflier]

That is because Whoopie Goldberg runs the show. She is not there for any reason other than she is a Hollywierd charity case. Ellen Degenerate is and has been history since her "auto-outing experience"

[Paul Atreides]

Personally, I have to wonder about a person, such as Rosie, who is so obsessed with children. Her production company was called KidRo, and featured a drawing of her as a child. Now, look at Michael Jackson, someone who could have his own chapter under Peter Pan Complex. Then, I think about homosexual men wanting in the Boy Scouts so badly. We've already seen what they have done by becoming priests.

[Dialup Llama]

>Looks like "Lesbian Chic" is destined for the trash heap.

The only trend to disappear any faster was the one where women were supposed to actually like smoking cigars.

[brat]

Like Ellen Degenerate, Rosie came out to try to save her lucrative TV show that was tanking. Oops...didn't work. LOL

[IronJack]

The only trend to disappear any faster was the one where women were supposed to actually like smoking cigars.

Now if we could get rid of the one where women think looking and acting like men is somehow sexy ...

I love the idea of a 98-pound beach bunny kicking the snot out of the Bad Guys using cheerleader moves and fierce looks. You know, the "Dark Angel" syndrome.

Uh huh.

[LS]

I have to tell you, my wife is a strong conservative, but she is an avid reader of womens' mags, mostly for medical but also food/recipe items. She is fully aware of spin.

She LOVED Rosie's mag, said that it had lots of good recipes, was quite like Good Housekeeping, and NOT like all the "Cosmo/Redbook" mags which had article after article on attaining a great orgasm.

I know there are a LOT of Rosie-haters here. But my wife tells me that she never ONCE preached or even alluded to lesbianism or pro-gay issues; that she has never done so on her show; that she not only fully recanted her opposition to Bush but has repeatedly called him a "great president" on her show; and has tongue-lashed people who criticized him on her show. She also apologized for her attack on Tom Selleck, and while I understand that her wording (I didn't see this) was not a full mea culpa, she nevertheless admitted it was wrong and that she was just caught up in the emotionalism of Columbine.

Jokes aside, I think that is a pretty big person to make those admissions. Some people here never forgive. And what she has said about some things don't change the sin of her lesbian lifestyle. But I think for conservatives to be credible, we have to give credit where credit is due. People who have never read her mag have no right commenting on it.

[LS]

There is a big difference here: Ellen USED her show as a pro-gay advertising vehicle. Rosie never, ever, endorsed, advocated, advertised, or in any way hinted in her MAG a preference for pro-homosexual issues. Have you ever read the mag? My wife, a conservative, tells me it was one of the best womens' mags out there, and totally unlike "Cosmo" or "Redbook."

[LS]

You are right, but have you actually WATCHED her show since 9/11? I have, because my wife often has it on. She did a total 180 and frequently supported Prs. Bush. Moreover, her show, UNLIKE most of the others, NEVER got political after 9/11. She kept it to celebs, recipes, decorating, and kids.