[Libloather]

When does a thief lose the 'suspected' label?

[neutrino]

Ohh...a Darwin Award contender!

[Larry Lucido]

He must have missed the label that read: "I case of a water landing, your CD player will double as a floation device."

[cake_crumb]

Another Darwin Award nominee.

[DB]

Gee, that's too bad.../

[mhking]

Hold muh [glurg!]...

[AlGone2001]

He voted for Al Gore, not doubt.

[SamAdams76]

What's funny about this is even had he been able to make it across the river, all that stolen merchandise would be ruined and unusable. What a moron!

[tdscpa]

I would bet he will never be convicted. Therefore we must refer to him forever as a "suspect." He is only "alleged" to have stolen....

[niteowl77]

Unfortunately, at 37 he's had wa-a-a-y too much time to pass these genes on.

[fporretto]

Ever heard of the South Indian Monkey Trap?

The Indians bore a small hole in a coconut, empty out the milk, and put some rice inside. A monkey comes along, smells the rice in the coconut, puts his hand through the hole and grabs the rice -- and discovers that he can't withdraw his hand. The hole is big enough for his open hand, but not for his closed fist with the rice in it.

This is an example of a trap based on value rigidity. The monkey isn't really caught; he's just unable to perform the revaluation that says:

Freedom Without The Rice > Captivity With The Rice.

Mr. McBride's value rigidity was apparently so firm that he couldn't even perform the revaluation:

Life and trial > Death and a legacy of idiocy

There's a moral in that, somewhere.

Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit the Palace Of Reason: http://palaceofreason.com

[XtreMarine]

God made that river and on this day it stopped evil.

[csvset]

Edward McBride, 37, was carrying a duffel bag weighing 50 pound anchor.

Too bad this wasn't caught on film.

[robertpaulsen]

They left something out:

"The officers took off their shirts, shoes and belts off, carefully folded their shirts, shined their shoes, at first removed their pants then changed their minds, then jumped into the river. By the time they reached him, he had gone under."

[Grampa Dave]

I can't wait for his lawyers to sue the people he robbed for having too much and too heavy loot around their home.

Obviously this would never had happen if the owners of the home had basically nothing to steal.

So their greed to buy material wealth contributed to the death of this poor unfortunate soul, who didn't have much.

The City of Tulsa should be sued for not teaching this poor soul how to swim with a duffle bag loaded with 50 pounds of Free Goodies!

[lexington minuteman 1775]

This is too funny to say anything about.I think it stands on its own.Hopefully somebody submits it to the Darwin Award folks.This one is a contender!

[Consort]

He was appropriately named: Eddy.

[EricT.]

"The officers took off their shirts, shoes and belts off and jumped into the river. By the time they reached him, he had gone under."
I hope the officers neatly folded and hung up their clothing, tucked their socks inside their shoes, carefully placed their belts with the rest of it in the trunk of the car, found some sticks to throw in the water to judge the speed and direction of the current, then informed the Coast Guard of their intent to enter the river and how long they planned on being there just in case of a problem.

[trussell]

Stupid thing is, he could probably got away if he had just turned loose of the duffle bag.

DUH!! ::Stupid theif::

[jackbill]

Reminds me of a guy who worked where I worked - at a defense contractor. It was a big place and the parking lot was huge. This guy wrapped himself with several hundreds of pounds of coaxial cable and covered it with a raincoat. While walking to the parking lot on an extremely hot, high humidity day, he passed out. They had trouble lifting him to put him on a stretcher.

I don't know what happened to him but he never came back.

[TC Rider]

There used to be a very un-PC joke about a minority fished out the river wrapped in 50 feet of heavy chain. The punch line was along the lines of, "Just like a (insert minority or ethnic group here) to steal more chain than he could swim with."

It's sad that there is huge body of humor that is slowly dying away due to Political Correctness. Where's 'Oral Histories' when you need them.

Similarly I know dozens of really funny 'hairlip' jokes. While I'm sure these are also very un-PC, these are fading away due to the lack of hairlips in the US today. Medical science has had a lot to do with this, and I'm glad no one has to grow up with the stigma of a cleft palate today.

We have 20-somethings in our office today that aren't even aware of them. The trick to telling the jokes was to affect a heavy lisp. Most of the ones I know involve someone assuming that the victim of a cleft palate was somehow mentally deficient. The jokes always concluded with the hairlip having the last laugh.

BTW, my favorite hairlip joke has the punchline, "It is sh!t, wanna buy a toothbrush?"