Suspected Thief Drowns, Weighed Down by Loot

Yahoo News ^ | 08/18/02

[Libloather]

Suspected Thief Drowns, Weighed Down by Loot
Sun Aug 18, 7:35 AM ET

TULSA, Oklahoma (Reuters) - A suspected thief, weighed down with more than 50 pounds of stolen cameras and CDs, among other items, drowned as he attempted to evade police by swimming across the Arkansas River, officials said.

The man, identified as Edward McBride, 37, was carrying a duffel bag weighing 50 pounds that contained stolen items and was found Friday with stolen goods also stuffed in his pockets, said Tulsa police spokesman Lucky Lamons.

He was being pursued by Tulsa police who suspected him of robbing a Tulsa home when he jumped into the muddy Arkansas River.

"He got about 40 yards out and yelled for help," Lamons said. "The officers took off their shirts, shoes and belts off and jumped into the river. By the time they reached him, he had gone under."

Lamons said rescue workers retrieved McBride's body about an hour later from about 8 feet to 10 feet of water along with the duffel bag containing stolen goods.

[robertpaulsen]

They left something out:

"The officers took off their shirts, shoes and belts off, carefully folded their shirts, shined their shoes, at first removed their pants then changed their minds, then jumped into the river. By the time they reached him, he had gone under."

[Grampa Dave]

I can't wait for his lawyers to sue the people he robbed for having too much and too heavy loot around their home.

Obviously this would never had happen if the owners of the home had basically nothing to steal.

So their greed to buy material wealth contributed to the death of this poor unfortunate soul, who didn't have much.

The City of Tulsa should be sued for not teaching this poor soul how to swim with a duffle bag loaded with 50 pounds of Free Goodies!

[lexington minuteman 1775]

This is too funny to say anything about.I think it stands on its own.Hopefully somebody submits it to the Darwin Award folks.This one is a contender!

[Tennessee_Bob]

He is only "alleged" to have stolen....

Well, you never know. He was probably in the middle of trying to return that bag of stolen goods to its rightful owner.

[Consort]

He was appropriately named: Eddy.

[Libloather]

The officers took off their shirts, shoes and belts off, carefully folded their shirts, shined their shoes, at first removed their pants then changed their minds...

Give 'em a medal if they had a smoke before getting wet...

(Can't ya just imagine the radio chatter. "Nope, HQ. Don't look like we got a floater...")

[EricT.]

"The officers took off their shirts, shoes and belts off and jumped into the river. By the time they reached him, he had gone under."
I hope the officers neatly folded and hung up their clothing, tucked their socks inside their shoes, carefully placed their belts with the rest of it in the trunk of the car, found some sticks to throw in the water to judge the speed and direction of the current, then informed the Coast Guard of their intent to enter the river and how long they planned on being there just in case of a problem.

[Libloather]

...found some sticks to throw in the water to judge the speed and direction of the current, then informed the Coast Guard of their intent to enter the river and how long they planned on being there just in case of a problem...

What if the EPA found that the thief was considered a pollutant? Could mean a further delay...

[trussell]

Stupid thing is, he could probably got away if he had just turned loose of the duffle bag.

DUH!! ::Stupid theif::

[jackbill]

Reminds me of a guy who worked where I worked - at a defense contractor. It was a big place and the parking lot was huge. This guy wrapped himself with several hundreds of pounds of coaxial cable and covered it with a raincoat. While walking to the parking lot on an extremely hot, high humidity day, he passed out. They had trouble lifting him to put him on a stretcher.

I don't know what happened to him but he never came back.

[TC Rider]

Ever heard of the South Indian Monkey Trap?

No, but my Dad tells the same story from when he was in the South Pacific during WWII. In his story they use a nut for bait, same result. Not sure if his tale is from Okinawa or New Guini. Guess I'll have to call and ask him. He loves telling that story.

[TC Rider]

There used to be a very un-PC joke about a minority fished out the river wrapped in 50 feet of heavy chain. The punch line was along the lines of, "Just like a (insert minority or ethnic group here) to steal more chain than he could swim with."

It's sad that there is huge body of humor that is slowly dying away due to Political Correctness. Where's 'Oral Histories' when you need them.

Similarly I know dozens of really funny 'hairlip' jokes. While I'm sure these are also very un-PC, these are fading away due to the lack of hairlips in the US today. Medical science has had a lot to do with this, and I'm glad no one has to grow up with the stigma of a cleft palate today.

We have 20-somethings in our office today that aren't even aware of them. The trick to telling the jokes was to affect a heavy lisp. Most of the ones I know involve someone assuming that the victim of a cleft palate was somehow mentally deficient. The jokes always concluded with the hairlip having the last laugh.

BTW, my favorite hairlip joke has the punchline, "It is sh!t, wanna buy a toothbrush?"

[mlocher]

The man, identified as Edward McBride, 37, was carrying a duffel bag weighing 50 pounds

i think that the duffel bag was carrying him -- under...

[Francohio]

Love the way this story was written.

It hints that the perp and Darwin Award Winner may be served with a posthumous summons for some sort of environmental crime. He's an "alleged" thief but a definite polluter.

[mlocher]

He's an "alleged" thief but a definite polluter

good point. it simply shows how far the environmentalist movement has gone when polluting a river with a biodegradable substance (human) and 50 pounds of recoverable items can be more decisively stated as being wrong than theft! i can quote the bible to know that theft is wrong -- not sure about a direct quote that states polution is wrong.

[robertpaulsen]

Would I?

[Kaslin]

I would bet he will never be convicted. Therefore we must refer to him forever as a "suspect." He is only "alleged" to have stolen....

Well, he can not be convicted since he drowned

[TC Rider]

Would I?

Your one to talk...

LOL, I forgot that one!