Posted on 07/16/2002 11:30:38 AM PDT by Smartaleck
-----Original Message----- From: Lori Latham Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 11:12 AM To: Caye Caves; Gayla Gould; Judy Whitt; Gatesville Lobby Teller 1; Gatesville Lobby Teller 2; Mildred Jean McIver; Bobby Sue Sikes Subject: FW: Winders2000
WINDOWS 2000 TEXAS VERSION
Dear Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of Texas.
If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads:
"WINDERS 2000, with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed on the Alamo."
Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset..............try'er agin
Yes.................yep
No...................nope
Find.................hunt fer it
Go to...............over yonder
Back................back yonder
Help.................hep me out here
Stop.................kwitit
Start.................crank'er up
Settings............settins
Programs..........stuff at duz stuff
Documents.......stuff ah done did
Also note that theTEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or puncshuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2000:
Tiperiter.....................a word processing program
Colerin' Book.............a graphics program
Cyferin' mersheen......calculator
Outhouse paper.........notepad
Inner-net....................Microsoft Explorer 5.0
Pitchers.....................a graphics viewer
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
I hope this helps all ya'll!
Billy Bob Gates
Provided solely four the edumakation of dee peoples.
Your lieberry books are over doo two.
Laugh all yo' want. All ah knows is thet when ah lived in Texas (hoeston) ah was able to git High speed internet access in one business day.
But now thet ah moved t'No'thern ole Virginny (silicon valley of th' east, HA! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!) ah can not git enny fo'm of HSIA ('cept fo' th' dish which rapes yo' on price fo' perfo'mance an' has a ho'rible latency). So laugh away, an' them who care t'do enny invesitgashun will knows thet Texas has the dawgoned-est of th' east coast beat han's down when it comes t'technology.
You took leave of yo senses boy?
But sometimes "say what" or "come again"?
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