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Bllind Psychic Gropes Buttocks To Tell Future
Reuters Odd News ^ | 7/9/2002 | Nick Tattersall

Posted on 07/09/2002 12:54:13 PM PDT by Hellmouth

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Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future
Tue Jul 9,11:55 AM ET

By Nick Tattersall

BERLIN (Reuters) - Forget palm-reading. A blind German psychic claimed Tuesday he could read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.

Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's backsides have lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.

"The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told Reuters. "It goes on developing throughout your life."

By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a client's posterior, he says he can tell them about their future monetary success, family life, health and happiness.

He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a further five lines radiate outwards.

"I began on a circle of friends and the circle grew," Buck said. "I am not a new-age freak. I treat people with great care and conscientiousness."

Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says all types come to him to have their bottoms read.

He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means customers do not risk having their identities revealed.

"All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent members of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage because I can do it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind since the age of three.

Although he claims to have spent many years training his fingers, with his index and middle fingers the most sensitive, Buck says even amateur buttock readers can make a broad-brush assessment of people's personalities.

"An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."

He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock groping might be motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's futures.

"I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me," he said.

Buck is reluctant to speak about his successes, but says he correctly predicted an actress from a popular German soap-opera was going to write a book, and says a stockbroker has been using his services for over two years.

"No stockbroker would keep asking a blind clairvoyant to tell them about future stock prices if they didn't believe I could to it," he said.

Copyright © 2002 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters. Reuters shall not be liable for any errors or delays in the content, or for any actions taken in reliance thereon.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: divination; future; germany; gropingbuttocks; precognition; psychic
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Only in Germany!!!!

I am Dieter.

Welcome to Sprockkkkettts Psychic Services.

Would you allow me to Grope Your But-Tocks?

1 posted on 07/09/2002 12:54:13 PM PDT by Hellmouth
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To: Hellmouth
Are you sure this isn't clintoon in disguise?
2 posted on 07/09/2002 12:58:12 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants
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To: Hellmouth
Would you allow me to Grope Your But-Tocks?

Only if I can touch your monkey.

3 posted on 07/09/2002 1:00:09 PM PDT by Redcloak
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To: Hellmouth
Well - I uh - Think uh, that you need to buy two airline seats!

WILL I NEED TWO CEMETARY PLOTS?

4 posted on 07/09/2002 1:00:23 PM PDT by stlrocket
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To: Blood of Tyrants
I think Clinton's more into Money and Bosom groping....
5 posted on 07/09/2002 1:02:15 PM PDT by Hellmouth
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To: Hellmouth
"Hmmmmmmm....Something about cottage cheese in your future."
6 posted on 07/09/2002 1:06:01 PM PDT by socal_parrot
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To: Hellmouth
"Dis is da time on Sprockets ven ve read your Arsch."
7 posted on 07/09/2002 1:06:29 PM PDT by RichInOC
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To: Hellmouth
Probably my imagination, but I believe Anna Kournikova is in need of a "reading."
8 posted on 07/09/2002 1:07:11 PM PDT by BuckeyeForever
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To: Hellmouth
(grope, grope) I predict that you'll be walking through a valley with a mountain each side (grope) and all of a sudden you'll fall into nasty smelling hole (grope).
9 posted on 07/09/2002 1:07:25 PM PDT by droberts
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To: Hellmouth

What do you mean I have too much future?.

10 posted on 07/09/2002 1:07:38 PM PDT by moyden
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To: Hellmouth
LOL
That's it - I've got my scam now: "The Incredible Tomakaze: Tactile-Mammary Psycic" Consultations 50 bucks, by appointment only in the corner Booth of Lee's tahitian in Beautiful downtown Richland.
*Confidental
*Complimentary Mammagram
*Special rates for Hooters employees.
11 posted on 07/09/2002 1:08:02 PM PDT by tomakaze
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To: Hellmouth
... A blind German psychic claimed Tuesday he could read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.

"But Congressman Frank, this is the 9th time today."

12 posted on 07/09/2002 1:08:26 PM PDT by SGCOS
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To: Hellmouth
This headline should read "Blind 'psychic' finds way to grope strangers for free." What a scam!
13 posted on 07/09/2002 1:09:42 PM PDT by Billy_bob_bob
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To: Hellmouth
He sees....a great asset

Ahah! I knew there was a reference in the article!

14 posted on 07/09/2002 1:11:21 PM PDT by stainlessbanner
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To: Hellmouth
I feel 50 pounds of crack in your future.
15 posted on 07/09/2002 1:12:03 PM PDT by tractorman
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To: Hellmouth

Can I read your fortune for you, ba-bee?

Michael M. Bates: My Side of the Swamp

16 posted on 07/09/2002 1:12:42 PM PDT by mikeb704
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To: Hellmouth
What a great scam! Why didn't I think of that one?
17 posted on 07/09/2002 1:13:32 PM PDT by Destructor
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To: Hellmouth
If he groped Packers Fullback Davenport's buttocks, he might have been in for a nasty surprise....
18 posted on 07/09/2002 1:15:01 PM PDT by Hellmouth
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To: Hellmouth
OK, I knew my fellow Freepers wouldn't be able to resist making cracks about this story.
19 posted on 07/09/2002 1:15:43 PM PDT by Pining_4_TX
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To: tractorman
The bottom line is...oh nevermind, too easy. 8-)
20 posted on 07/09/2002 1:15:55 PM PDT by subterfuge
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