Entire Nation of Israel Converts to Catholicism

BSNN.NET ^ | 04/23/2002 | Lazamataz

[Lazamataz]

As the elected leader of the newly-designated Roman Catholic State of Israel, Airel Sharon has assumed the position of Cardinal of the Israeli Diocese.  

JERUSALEM —In an effort to confuse Palestinian bombers, the entire nation of Israel converted to Catholicism today. As the Knesset met yesterday, Shlomo Benizri submitted legislation that would formally change the official religion of Israel to Christianity in general and Roman Catholicism in particular. 

Speaking outside the Knesset chamber, Benizri told reporters, "If we just change religions, maybe the Palestinians won't really notice us any more."
 
The measure passed overwhelmingly. 
 
Alex Plotzker, of the news organization Ha'aretz, said in a commentary Monday night: "This brilliant move by our government will certainly lower our profile in the Islamic world. And now that we are no longer Jews, there is not so much reason to hate our freakin' guts, is this not true?"
 
As the people of Israel struggled to adapt to the change, airlifts of Crucifixes, Stations of the Cross, little Patron Saint cards and painted statues of the Virgin Mary were being planned from the United States. 

"Oy vey," lamented one unidentified man. "Now I should no longer atone for my sins once a year on Yom Kippur, but instead I should go to this 'confession' every week? Sounds like I am paying retail."
 
"Does that mean I have to change my name from Binyamin Chazan to Mark Masamacchi?" puzzled another.
 
In the Vatican, the Pope was informed of this recent development, but an ankle injury prevented him from commenting.

[MeekOneGOP]

Congratulations!...........

Just kiddin'..................
</bad humor>

[Khepera]

I'm on a roll lately.

Well roll another one.

[MeekOneGOP]

I shouldn't do that...........
I hope your married life is really good, FRiend! :O)

[Lazamataz]

Well roll another one.

I've got two more on the deck. :o)

[Khepera]

Well good golly trot those bad boys out :)

[MeekOneGOP]

Only days remain, my life is over soon....

Congratulations! Perhaps you should see post #141 too, then?.....
:O)

[MeekOneGOP]

#143 was meant for you.........
...talkin' to myself again...

[Lazamataz]

I can't. I have to let BSNN publish them first.

[philosofy123]

You forgot that the Moslems attempted to kill the Pope! The Moslems simply hate everyone including Moslems! It is hate filled religion and culture. The followers of Mohamed, the Khalifas, were killed one after the other by other Moslems. These guys invented the word ASSASSIN!!!

[Lazamataz]

You forgot that the Moslems attempted to kill the Pope! The Moslems simply hate everyone including Moslems! It is hate filled religion and culture. The followers of Mohamed, the Khalifas, were killed one after the other by other Moslems. These guys invented the word ASSASSIN!!!

That just shows that if we appease them enough, they will love us and learn tolerance for other religions.

Open your heart!

[MeekOneGOP]

Well, I'm happy for you both. Congratulations and good luck! :O)

[Don Carlos]

"Oy vey," lamented one unidentified man. "Now I should no longer atone for my sins once a year on Yom Kippur, but instead I should go to this 'confession' every week? Sounds like I am paying retail."

My very first thought when I read the title of your post was, will we still be able to get it at wholesale? After reading the above quote, well, therein lies the answer. LMAO!!

[Khepera]

I suppose we can wait. Its hard in these troubling times but we are tough as nails and so we don't care. :)

[riley1992]

That's not my destiny. This is my destiny.

[Cagey]

I traded in my cassock some time ago.

[MeekOneGOP]

I understand. When you're makin' plans like that, it's a lot of work! :O)

[N. Theknow]

Oy Vey Maria!

[TheRealLobo]

You said what I was thinking too. LOL!!!

With the problems the RCC is having, and the problems the Israelis are having, it'd be a toss-up.