ROYAL PAIN IN TENNESSEE-Navy Intel Informs Woman She is Daughter of Sucessor to England's King

The New York Post ^ | March 11, 2002 | House of Windsor Biographer Michael Thorton and Cindy Adams

[codebreaker]

Elizabeth of Englands (50th Aniiversary) Jubilee Year is now being troubled by an American. Her Majesty just acquired an unwanted and unacknowledged first cousin. Michael Thornton Duchess of York biographer informs me.

Elizabeth Kelman, 67-year -old missus of American pathologist Dr. Edward Kelman of Maryville Tenn. (where??!), and mother of five sons, is claiming she's the stolen child of Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson. Says she was born June 3, 1934. In England. Two years before the abdication and three years to the very day Eddie married the Amercian dutchess and they became the wandering unemployed Duke and Dutchess of Windsor.

[codebreaker]

But as the only surviving female close relative, (illegitmate, of course) could she have had been Queen?

I think there is some soft of a Royal Rule that if the mistress/future wife is not Royal or fo British Birth she could not hold title.

[dyed_in_the_wool]

of Maryville Tenn. (where??!)

This is also real close to Blackberry Farm, a world class resort.
Took my wife there once and we had a great time.
Maryville is dry, incidentally. Still can't figure that one out...

[codebreaker]

The Royals Genealogy guy will pay for the test, so I say lets find out!

[codebreaker]

I guess you could say that she is a British Citizen since she was born in England if the mistress was in London at the time.

[jimtorr]

But as the only surviving female close relative, (illegitmate, of course) could she have had been Queen?

Good question. The answer, to the best of my knowledge, is no. I believe that England has a law that an illegitimate child of the monarch is not in direct succesion to the crown. They've only used illegitimates when nobody legitimate is left. alive.

[Diddle E. Squat]

Well I met her out at Murphy's restaurant
She said she was fresh from the farm
And I remember thinkin' for a country girl
That she went pretty well armed
We sat there talkin' by the lobster tank
I ordered her a slow gin fizz
And when them chicken fried steaks arrived
She said I like living like this

So I made her the queen of my double wide trailer
With the polyester curtains and the redwood deck
Times she's run off and I've got to trail her
Dang her black heart and her pretty red neck

Well a few nights later I run into her
With some stranger on a park bench
She said he rebuilds engines and his name is Earl
He's the Charlie Daniels of the torque wrench
I whispered honey let's just go on home
And have some onion rings and watch TV
And as I walked her to the truck
Earl was cryin' don't you leave me

I told him This is the queen of my double wide trailer
With the polyester curtains and the redwood deck
Sometimes shes runs and I've got to trail her
Dang her black heart and her pretty red neck

I said this is the queen of my double wide trailer
With the polyester curtains and the redwood deck
Sometimes she runs and I've got to trail her
Dang her black heart and her pretty red neck

I said this is the queen of my double wide trailer
With the polyester curtains and the redwood deck
Sometimes she runs and I've got to trail her
Dang her black heart and her pretty red neck

She's the Queen
She's the Queen

[Consort]

Wow! Tennessee has a lot of royalty, like Emir Al-arnold Gore of Tennesstan.

[japaneseghost]

This is called a classic paper chase, switching a live baby with a dead one.

It's also called first degree kidnapping when it happens without the birth parents consent.

It happens more often than people think.

Gee, I wish the FBI would wake up about this stuff.

[skateman]

I've got an extra throne that she can sit on.

[.45MAN]

The Royal Throne now has a hole in it, (someone left the seat up)!!!!!!!!!!!

[codebreaker]

If she was born British citizen she might have claim to a formal title like Dutchess, but not much more.

I'll wait till Mad Ivan to show up and see if he knows.

[Thinkin' Gal]

Maybe she's hoping the Windsors will get together for a family photo.

[small voice in the wilderness]

I shall await Arlen Specter's reading of the Scottish Law as it pertains to English Law. England will either have a new queen or it will be proved beyond any shadow of a doubt that Edward VIII acted alone but his actions did not rise to the level of an impregnable offense.

[Physicist]

Does she have a claim to the throne since she was a first born sucessor? (female)

Since her mother was a commoner, I doubt that she has any claim on being any sort of royalty whatsoever.

Rather a stupid system, IMHO. Our forefathers were wise to ditch it.

[codebreaker]

Elizabeth wasnt exactly straight 'direct sucession,' was she?

[Chemnitz]

I think the "heir conditioned" remark was said about the father of our current Queen Elizabeth, but it may also apply to the Duke of Windsor. I think that was the appeal of the Duchess. One book claims to have a photograph of her working in a brothel, that she was a plant for Hitler. The Duke was insane about the ugly broad. He was reasonably handsome and the Catch of the Day. She had to have something going for her to snag him. Note too that he was spirited out of England and kept a virtual prisoner during WWII, as a "governor" in the Caribbean.

Your name reminds me of our family's favorite rose - the Queen E.

[be131]

The monarch cannot by herself exclude her successors from the throne: Parliament must pass an act to do so. So the fact that Edward's Instrument of Abdication excluded his descendants is not conclusive. However, the Abdication Act does this:

His Majesty, His issue, if any, and the descendants of that issue, shall not after His Majesty's abdication have any right, title or interest in or to the succession to the Throne, and section one of the Act of Settlement shall be construed accordingly.

[codebreaker]

Arloon Sphincter bump!

I want the Scottish Law interpretations of this... like all the guys in Braveheart arguing over the Royal Claims

[ken5050]

Can you say "Royal DNA?"...