Posted on 02/26/2002 5:38:23 PM PST by New Horizon
FReepers, After months of silence, and weeks of my feebly attempted "negotiations", I have now discovered that there are no negotiations in keeping my family together. My wife of ten years, my son, and two beautiful daughters later, has decided to move on. She can't be with me any more. I suggested we stay together for the kids sake, at least, she said no. Perhaps she's right.
I'm shell shocked, to say the least, but I've felt it coming, as did she, for quite a while now. I knew it was coming, I just didn't expect it so soon, so final. Her mind is made up...mine wasn't. I can deal with the status quo, or any damn thing, when it comes to my kids.
Now, when I get home, she leaves. We communicate better via cellphones. Can you believe that? Total silence when we're together...ground-breaking decisions over the air.
I won't go into history too much, but we built our home together, built a family afterwards, then eventually upgraded afterwards...we were on a roll, or so I thought.
Soon, she moves out, with my family. My girls...I can't imagine how to explain this to them. My girls...I can't live without them.
How have others dealt with this? She has been married/divorced before. This is a first for me. I scared shitless. I'm looking for advice from the most intelligent people I know of.
She is kind-hearted and knows I'm a good father. She promises (and I believe her), that she would never keep the kids from me. I've heard some stories, though.
I haven't slept good in quite a while.
And you believed her when she said, 'Til death do us part'.
I'd think twice.
Truly, this is a selfish woman..
Forgive (it's not easy, it will take some time.. you will never be able to do this ovrnight) and move forward.
Pray and do good, and God will reward you.. and he will punish her for her selfishness.
Marriage is God's Covenant, he expects it to be taken seriously, she broke this vow, she disregarded him and you to satisfy herself. Nothing could be more harmful, painful and wrong.
She is wrong, never forget that. Regardless of what society tells you.
I'm sorry to hear this. Make sure to get joint custody. Don't rely on her "allowing you to see your own kids" You'll be very thankful that you went for joint custody in the long run.
It's a good time to do extra things with your kids ---take trips or something and be glad their mother doesn't want to deny you time with them.
Good deal. Maybe it'll give her somethin' to think about it.
My prayers for you and yours during this trial.
O Jesus, our most loving Redeemer, who having come to enlighten the world with Thy teaching and example, didst will to pass the greater part of Thy life in humility and subjection to Mary and Joseph in the poor home of Nazareth, thus sanctifying the Family that was to be an example for all Christian families, graciously receive the family of this thy servant as he dedicates and consecrates himself to Thee this day. Do Thou protect it, guard it and establish amongst its members Thy holy fear, true peace and concord in Christian love: in order that by living according to the divine pattern of Thy holy family we may be able, all of us without exception, to attain to eternal happiness.Mary, dear Mother of Jesus and Mother of us all, by thy kindly intercession make this our humble offering acceptable in the sight of Jesus, and obtain for us His graces and blessings.
O Saint Joseph, most holy Guardian of Jesus and Mary, help us by thy prayers in all our spiritual and temporal needs; that so we may be enabled to praise our divine Savior Jesus, together with Mary and thee, for all eternity. Amen.
x
If you have a faith in God, just pray to get through the next hour, then the next day, then the next week. It will get easier. (And I found that God did not strike me dead for some ranting and raving I did in His direction either.)
God bless and comfort you and hold you in His arms.
Stay together, and be miserable...live apart, and be "happy". At this juncture, it almost makes sense.
That's good advice. Also be agreeable but try to make sure the kids can't be relocated without your consent. Try not to fight with your wife because that just makes the lawyers rich ---settle as much things between the two of you. If you're really nice, she's likely to feel more guilt and give in to more also.
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