Why do women cheat on their husbands

Ok, since we've run the gamut on why men cheat on their wives, lets got with "why do women cheat on their husbands"

We have raised adultery and cheating to a romantic ideal.
That's it. That and the fact that it's a me, me, me world. There's little thought about hurting her mate. I am a woman who would rather be robbed, beaten, or whatever by some stranger than to be destroyed emotionally by a man I love. I could never do that to another person, either, because the pain is never gone. Flashbacks of adultery, especially if children are involved, occur at random, even on happy occassions because of a word or an expression. Some people can't go beyond infatuation. When that is gone; they are gone. I wonder if these women have problems bonding with their children since they apparently can't bond with their spouses?

Why would anyone want someone that didnt want them? Why cant cheating be seen as a wake up call, instead of such a disaster?

Exactly. My personal experience suggests that when an otherwise decent moral woman cheats on her husband, the husband is seriously dropping the ball. It doesn't just happen out of thin air. In most of the cases I am aware of where nice conservative women cheated on their husbands, it was following years of fundamental relationship problems in the marriage that for whatever reason could not be resolved.

I'm not so sure about guys though. Many men given an opportunity they can't pass up will drop their drawers even if they are happy with their marriage, IF they think they won't get caught. However, I should qualify this. If a man really is happy in his relationship, many WILL pass up a fine opportunity because the odds of getting caught aren't worth risking his current relationship. If a man is unhappy with his relationship, then it is almost a given that he will take the opportunity given the option.

I would sum the generalizations up as follows: men will cheat by default unless given a good reason not to. Women won't cheat by default unless given a good reason that they should.

What if that 'right woman' starts pumping out children, gets fat and unattractive, and one day decides to cut you off in the bedroom out of depression; leaving you with a potentially crippling child-support bill should you get a divorce?

You are so hung up on the physical, and speak of "urges" as though we are powerless to control them. How shallow! Let me fill in some blanks for you: I am 50. I have 3 grown children who are every man's dream as far as how they've grown into wonderful, well-adjusted, productive and genuinely nice people. That was in spite of the divorce that happened as they were just becoming teen-agers. They survived it in fine fashion. Was it hard work to make sure they didn't stray? Yes, and doubly hard since they had no stable home-life. At this point, they are giving me grandchildren, 4 so far, and I have no intention of making any more babies myself. I've had 11 years to learn how to deal with my "urges", and my sex drive hasn't diminished one bit. However, I have no outlet for it, so I channel that energy into other things. When I say "the right woman", I could write a book (or at least a small pamphlet) on what I mean by that. She isn't going to get "fat and unattractive", because quite frankly, women who let themselves get that way have problems and issues they're not dealing with. You assume an awful lot about things you know nothing about. You obviously haven't occupied this planet as long as me, or many others here, and you aren't as knowledgeable as you'd like to think. I once thought as you, but I've learned through experience that there is more than just the physical. Looks fade, beauty is relative, and tastes change. You're pretty vocal on these threads, and I get the impression that you're talking more than you're listening. God gave you two ears and one mouth, and that's the ratio that works best between talking and listening: listen twice as much as you talk.

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

I used to think that women were 'naturally' monogamous. The doubts that I have since developed are supported by two 'factoids' I picked up watching 'pop-science' TV shows on Discovery:

Chimps in social group are, on the surface, loyal to each other sexually, but when a stray male sneaks up to a strange group and manages to catch a female's eye, she will usually stroll non-challantly behind a bush in the male's direction (as if looking for berries) and offer herself for a 5-second copulation, hopefully without the knowledge of the jealous males in the group. The scholarly TV voice-over intoned that infusion of fresh DNA is important for the genetic health of the group.

Hmmmm...says I; behavioral nature usually follows the needs of genetics; maybe female infidelity is ingrained!

Then I see a report that researchers have determined that most male sperm (as opposed to the other kind) are programmed not to find and penetrate the egg, but rather to carry on a 'rear-guard' defense against the sperm of a different individual (presumably arriving right after the first guys!!) allowing the remaining 'assault-sperm" to carry on without competition.

If female infidelity is natural to the point that our sperm have been programmed to deal with it then it seems likely that women cheat as much as men.

Personally, if my wife of 19 years has been unfaithful I don't wan't to know about it. I very much don't want to know about it!

"Why would anyone want someone that didnt want them?"

I don't know. I certainly don't. That is why its important to pick the right person.

"Why cant cheating be seen as a wake up call, instead of such a disaster? "

Because it destroys trust. And without trust, the relationship is not going to continue. A wake-up call is something your alarm clock does. Cheating is something your best friend/life partner/husband or wife does. The terms husband and wife mean things to many people. Of course, to other people, the terms are just words in a dictionary.

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