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The Dregs of the Whine Cellar (Double Barrel)
Mercurial Times ^ | December 24, 2001 | Anna Z.

Posted on 12/24/2001 6:16:51 PM PST by Mercuria

Got a good piece of cheese in the refrigerator? Go get it...

So many things to complain about, so little time (mostly, however, because I have a typing skill of 90 words a week, but I digress). But what a year it has been in whine. Vintage, even. The positive news? Fewer people are buying, even though buying has become a patriotic duty. So also, I've read, is stopping the use of illegal drugs (that's enriching terrorists, you know) and dropping ten pounds (we're too hefty). Since I've already done the former and might disappear if I do the latter, and I'm too broke to do the shopping...

I would like to be patriotic by exercising some of my unalienable rights. So I go to church, regularly, nondenominationally, although I spend more time tending toddlers in the nursery than I do in the sanctuary.

How free is that worship anyway? I've seen the forms and hoops and permission my church needed to go through to exist. How did that become necessary? In Santa Monica I'm sure it was over parking permits. On a Federal scale the Ministry of Church Approval, also known as the IRS, had to, of course, be mollified.

I protest, often, but lately the only people whose faces are available for getting into make me so sick I don't want to see them anymore. The "give peace a chance" types, the "support the rights of anyone who hates America" black-hooded goons, they're the only ones on the streets these days. But for all their rhetoric of love for the little guy I feel they endanger my little guys, so I'm too protective to take them out as I rarely have the opportunity to get out without them.

And that's the irony of the Kumbaya types, it's a facade, a lie, they're not lovers they're vicious, spitting, profane haters, abusers of metaphors, employers of clichés, destroyers, disturbed.

And protests require a permit. How did that come to be?

I'd like to freely exercise my right to keep and bear arms, but people who think that's a freely exercised right have got to be kidding themselves. Or they're residents of Vermont.

Okay, on this topic I really am going to uncork.

I will posit that criminals and gangbangers (redundant?) are the only ones truly exercising that right the way the Framers intended. At least in this fair State. Capitalism, for them, is working its magic, while us law-abiding types are begging for permission and paying the extra bucks for the "it doesn't go off by itself even when dropped, pummeled, looked at maniacally" tests and forking over even more doughnuts for the privilege of personal scrutinization. And then you have a week and a half to "cool off" and, hopefully, any bashers, looters and rioters that may have provoked a need for self-defense have chilled as well.

No, (disclaimer: racial stereotyping via name choice of characters ahead) Carlito or Tyrone just goes to the corner to Julio or Jamal and says "I only got two hundred, but I need a good piece", and he gets one. No waiting period, period.

This is reality.

The actual official stats just came out on the bugaboo of 2001, the much-maligned gun show as a "Tupperware party for criminals", and the knocker-offer-of-the-grocer style of shopper at said venue is seven-tenths of one-percent. And for this I have to wait?

I think it's amazing that my sons might grow up to one day be sent to a country far away to protect someone who can't protect themselves because they don't live in a country with Freedom but they can no longer, unless we do something about it, grow up to protect themselves here without proving to someone that they really, really have to when people died so that they can just do it because they just want to.

I'm sick of people whining about imaginary loopholes when they're giving Liberty potholes right before they step into limousines that can drive over those craters jostle-free and that whisk them off to gated neighborhoods with armed response signs marring otherwise perfectly color-coordinated and manicured flower gardens.

When Rosie O'Donnell mentioned that her obsession with guns was due to psychological imbalance no one bothered to hype that.

When Sarah Brady is a textbook example of projection no one wants to bring it up.

But by my writing of these words, I might be labeled as angry, as looking for some phallus to stroke in the hard steel of a gun barrel, gripped by irrational fear as I grip the handle of a .45.

I spoke to a young girl a few weeks ago that had just finished a debate on mandatory gunlocks against another her age. I missed the presentation, but decided to test her arguments, kindly, non-aggressively. I'm a spokeswoman for a gun rights group, she's seventeen. I wanted to go easy on her.

Now, I knew her arguments weren't going to stand up to too much analysis, but I was unprepared for how solely emotionally based they were. In fact, calling her position "arguments" is unbelievably generous. She had but one note to sing. "If it saves one child's life", repeated over and, yes, over. Her sole point.

"But I educate my children," I told her.

"You're selfish", she screamed (really. She screamed it. No exaggeration.) "Just because your kids are educated you don't care if someone else's child dies. If it saves one child's life it's worth it."

Gently (really. I was gentle. Debating a teenager isn't my desire, enlightening is.) I tried to point out that people, and, yes, even their children, might be killed by others while struggling to enable their means of self-defense.

Her reply? "You're more likely to kill yourself than someone else with a gun."

And there you have it. Another lie, like how criminally entrenched those nasty free-for-all gun shows are, has been drilled into the heads of the masses over and over; the completely rebutted, shredded, and disowned Kellerman "Study" was still being taught and touted, spewed and spit out as Fact. A winning whine.

Standing at the Liberty Belles table as we were, I reached down and picked up one of our handouts.

"You're quoting Kellerman", I said. "He doesn't even quote himself any more. Here, take this. You might find it interesting. You could actually defend yourself about ninety-eight times with a gun before actually having to kill someone with it."

Looking at the piece of paper as though it was a rotting, putrescent corpse she backed away from it, from me, from reality, "I have... I have to go", she stammered, and in probably less than seven-tenths of a second she was gone, more comfortable with hysteria than honesty, preferring her emotion to her eyes opening.

Fortunately I, as yet, have not had to road test stated unalienable Rights Three through Eight. And the Ninth and Tenth Amendments to the Constitution are so adulterated as to be almost meaningless. I'm working through the list in order of appearance and importance. (Although the only problem I have with the Second Amendment is that they didn't make it the First.)

And speaking of the First Amendment I almost spent this week's page on the assault against wishing people a "Merry Christmas" but everyone else seems to be whining about that one this month. With good cause. Forget getting away with mentioning Jesus, this "sparkly time" has even seen the slamming of Santa, a figure most hardcore Christians don't even find amenable to the true reason for the season. Yes, even the jolly one is under attack this year. Maybe it's because he's rumored to smoke a pipe (and who knows just what's in it that keeps him so happy) and I don't think he's patriotically lost his paunch. But, hey, at least he keeps us shopping.


**Mercurial Times exclusive commentary. All reprints must credit Mercurial Times.**


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Editorial
KEYWORDS:
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Ho ho ho!
1 posted on 12/24/2001 6:16:52 PM PST by Mercuria
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To: AnnaZ
Merry Christmas!

Love,

The Big Cheese

2 posted on 12/24/2001 6:19:29 PM PST by Mercuria
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To: rebuildus; Cortez; abigail2; HangFire; Lady Jenn; Outraged; Kithlyara; PRND21; Driver...
AnnaZ BUMP...Merry Christmas!!
3 posted on 12/24/2001 6:20:24 PM PST by Mercuria
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To: Apathetic; AZ Spartacus
Thanks so much for allowing me to hijack your computer for this!!! **g**

xoxo!

4 posted on 12/24/2001 6:21:43 PM PST by Mercuria
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To: Mercuria
Good article.
Bump
5 posted on 12/24/2001 6:25:10 PM PST by Libertarianize the GOP
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To: Mercuria
Thanks for the post, and Merrrrrrrrry Christmas!
6 posted on 12/24/2001 6:32:09 PM PST by MeekOneGOP
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To: Mercuria
And that's the irony of the Kumbaya types, it's a facade, a lie, they're not lovers they're
vicious, spitting, profane haters, abusers of metaphors, employers of clichés, destroyers, disturbed.


I suspect most of them haven't sufficient imagination to visualize eleven seconds.
The eleven seconds that it took some souls to fall from the top of a WTC Tower to the pavement.

But, this is the joyous season, for contemplating that which is good...our friends, families,
the low casualty rate for our folks in Afghanistan, and the smiling faces on the streets of
Kabul, Mazaar-i-Sharif, etc.

Merry Christmas to you Ms. Mercuria and all other posters/lurkers!
7 posted on 12/24/2001 6:38:20 PM PST by VOA
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To: Mercuria
Happy Kwanzaa! ;)
8 posted on 12/24/2001 6:44:58 PM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: Mercuria
Merry Christmas gal. I admire people that try to explain things in a sensitive manner to people, I wish I were more like that. The more idiotic they sound the more I find myself wishing I were anywhere else.
9 posted on 12/24/2001 6:46:26 PM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: Mercuria
So Cal bump! :-)
10 posted on 12/24/2001 6:54:34 PM PST by CARepubGal
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To: Mercuria
Xmaseve bump.
11 posted on 12/24/2001 7:13:28 PM PST by Roscoe
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To: Mercuria,AnnaZ,All

12 posted on 12/24/2001 7:19:49 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: Mercuria
more comfortable with hysteria than honesty...

That about sums it up. Nothing frightens these people more than the necessity of using their own brains independently. And they'd rather die - literally - than face that.

Well, I wish 'em a Merry Christmas notwithstanding. May Santa leave boxes of ammo in their stockings...

13 posted on 12/24/2001 7:25:53 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: Mercuria
Happy HANNUKAH :-)
14 posted on 12/24/2001 7:34:24 PM PST by lowbridge
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To: Mercuria

15 posted on 12/24/2001 7:38:14 PM PST by lowbridge
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To: Mercuria; AnnaZ
Outstanding as usual. Merry Christmas!
16 posted on 12/24/2001 7:44:30 PM PST by nunya bidness
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Comment #17 Removed by Moderator

To: Mercuria; AnnaZ; pete-r-bilt
click yer pick...


18 posted on 12/24/2001 8:03:38 PM PST by glock rocks
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To: AnnaZ
"You're more likely to kill yourself than someone else with a gun."

nope. like this kid would know truth if it bit her on the butt.

on another note, i left my glock in the truck for a couple hours last night while eating
Christmas dinner with the folks and family.

when i returned to the vehicle and slid my baby mod30 back into
the holster i thought i was going to die. it was 5 degrees outside.
forgive me my little plastic darlin, i will never, ever leave you alone again.

i think i have frostbite on my hip.

another great article annaz. may i wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas. stay safe. God bless you.

19 posted on 12/24/2001 8:16:07 PM PST by glock rocks
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To: Mercuria

I grew up "on the water...." the ocean was about 50 feet from our front door, and the whole area is full of rivers, creeks, streams, ponds, and borrow pits.

My parents did not try to "make me safe" by keeping me away from the water; rather, they "made me safe around water" by teaching me to swim....

I can't recall ever not being able to swim or roll over and float on my back....

Likewise, when I was about 6, my Dad "made me safe around firearms" by teaching me to handle weapons carefully & responsibly.....

Water, fire, and weapons of any sort are wonderful servants but fearful masters, and adults owe their children instruction in the uses of these things.... not the teaching of fear.

20 posted on 12/25/2001 12:58:27 AM PST by backhoe
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