Posted on 12/23/2001 11:58:34 AM PST by grumpster-dumpster
For many single adults, the Christmas Season is a “personally uncomfortable” time of the year. The loneliness factor seems to grow by leaps and bounds… all the gift giving and “Holiday Spirit” and the general party mood can actually be quite overwhelming to the singe adult.
Now, normally I try to view life with a non-serious eye. I think it’s better to laugh at folly than be trampled by it. But this year was somewhat different…This year I discovered an active resistance to organizing a get-together for adults to share Christmas in a non-threatening, casual environment… Just a nice party where single Christians could all meet and socialize…maybe have a “pot-luck,” BYOB, hire a “DJ” and exchange small (under $5) gifts to one another on Christmas afternoon.
It’s absolutely unbelievable the amount of non-cooperation I received from the churches in my area. (I’m Catholic…but my idea was for a non-denominational event.)
- The Baptist’s said they couldn’t be part of any event where liquor was allowed…besides they had already invited the single members to share Christmas day with other families (Just what a single wants to do…sit around and watch someone else’s kids open presents.)
- The Methodist’s said they already hold an event for the singles…turns out to be a “youth-group” function (Just what a single adult wants to do…sit around with a 20 year-old discussing his/her weighty insights into life.)
- The Lutheran’s hold a “prayer/home-alone” dinner…with assistance from the “Youth-Group” so no booze allowed. (Another “winner” for the single adult…let’s toast good-cheer with Dr. Pepper.)
- The Catholic Church said : “It will interfere with the Bishop’s dinner he hold’s every year for people alone.” I learned that this dinner is for “the poor” (meaning bums in the area). Undaunted, I tried to volunteer to help out at the event but was told the “volunteers” would be high-school kids (I was in high-school 30 years ago…so I didn’t make the cut.)
Now don’t get me wrong…I’m not complaining about these churches trying to help out needy families, kid’s, the homeless, or whatever by having their own programs at Christmas and throughout the year… God bless them for their outpouring of love and generosity!
But; I am complaining about the way Churches treat single adults… Look, we’re not asking for money, or sympathy, or even for a “free meal”…but do you have to reject our willingness to volunteer and help out (Just try to be a single adult man and ask Mrs. Goodness N. Sweetness what you can bring to the “pot-luck!” She’ll probably tell you either “Nothing! Just Yourself.” Or worse; “Oh, just bring some soda or ice, maybe a bag of chips… Anything that will make you “feel” like your part of the family…which your not, of course…)
Can’t we just get an unused room to hold a get-together? And would it be too much trouble to “spread-the-word” about this event to the single adults in the congregation?
This is an open invitation for Single, Divorced, or Widowed Freepers, who are spending the Holiday’s alone to comment. What are your plans? Why aren’t you doing anything…or what are you going to do? Are you looking forward to Christmas and New Years day with the “family?” Would you prefer to be doing something else? Do your churches hold any events for single adults? Do your suggestions or initiatives get rejected by your church?
I would really like to know I there are any of you out there who are just as frustrated at the “lip-service” singles get…especially at this time of the year!
In all sincerity (really!): I wish each of you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
IMO, what you need is an activity partner.
Like a girlfriend without a commitment.
Mine just left actually. If you don't have any locals in mind, try the Yahoo personals or similar.
You will be suprised how many people of both sexes would love to go to a movie, for a walk, dinner, whatever but don't simply because they don't want to go alone. (I mean, really. who goes to the movies alone Except Pee Wee Herman?)
Try it..
Perfect fix for a single of any faith.
I wouldn't view this as "resistance" to your idea. First, it is the belief of many (most? all?) Baptists to be teetotallers.
I don't think it strange at all for someone to wish not to be with people drinking, particularly on the occasion of the celebration of Christ's birth, and particularly in a setting of believers.
And especially middle-age or older people: we've seen a LOT of drinking, a lot of drunks, a lot of what people do when drinking. I'd personally rather socialize without mind-altering substances being involved, generally. People do strange things when drinking. Not exactly my idea of Christmas. I've seen weird things happend (due to inebriation) already at two of the parties I have been to so far this year (for one thing, a drunk, 60-ish middle-class, married family man pinched the behind of my 28 yo single female friend---he later apologized profusely, staing correctly that he was drunk. To which I would add, he may have a drinking problem.)
For those among us who can drink socially and never have a problem, I say more power to you. But there are many among us for whom alcohol is poison and is something that makes them act out, and crazily so. If someone doesn't want to be around liquor, I wouldn't say a word about it. They could be recovering alcoholics or family of alcoholics. Drink is a deadly serious subject. I wouldn't mix it in with an otherwise justifiable analysis of how to get single adults together for activities (We tend to be hermits, don't we.)
Talk to them, find out who is alone, and put together a small party. It can range from a very simple little get-together at your house to something more lavish. Don't do it on a holiday...that's too much stress for the first one. Just pick a nice weekend day, and have a get together. (An idea: find a country club or hotel that will provide a room and some reasonably priced catering, then let them do the work).
Your first reaction may be that this is too expensive. However, for a home based party you could have lots of refreshments for under $25.00. The local supermarket can create party trays, or go to Sam's wholesale or Costco if you wish. Higher end is a bit more expensive - but one of the best private clubs where I am would put on a nice Sundae bar for under $5.00 per person. A 20 person party at a great location would cost under $130, including tax and tip. You want booze? Add a cash bar for $50 - $75.
For Christmas, you just build on that. And there's no rule that says you can't share the costs with others, either.
Fie upon the bishop! Create your own fun, and your own group! Who knows, maybe he'll come to you and ask for one of those coveted invitations you issue each year!
I get invites for the season dinners, but generally turn them down for the reasons you cited.
Beore I reply..I need to know if that was a serious comment. Or did you just forget to put the < /Sarcasm > tag on?
In our area, a faith-sharing group was started by a 30 yr old priest, he hosts the weekly Tuesday nite gathering at a local neighborhood bar and it is called "Theology on Tap".
It has been very popular.
Yeah, like Jesus would never be among others drinking in celebration...or do things like turn water into wine, would he...hmmmmm
btw....I won't count the beers!
OK Folks! Surf's Up at mystery-ak's house!
P.S.: Is there some hidden meaning to your not providing directions? :)
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
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