BOB DOLE to LENO: "Osama wrote Clinton asking for a pardon..." [LIVE, if that can be said of Dole]

The Tonight Show [NBC] | December 12, 2001 | Bob Dole, paraphrased

[ST.LOUIE1]

[LIVE, if that can be said of Dole]

LOL!!!!

I like the guy. Very witty.

[Mo1]

OMG .. get out .. did he really say that ... fofl

[Darlin']

That's almost to close to being true to be funny. I hope Leno laughed and laughed big.

[Neets]

Too phunny!!!

[celtic gal]

Hi, Mo, Yep.... Dole can be really funny. His quick wit was hidden from us all during his political years!

[Diver Dave]

Howdy Louie. Last Saturday a cousin of Bob Dole was FReeping with us in Modesto.

[Moonman62]

If he offered Clinton 72 virgins, he might also have had a chance.

I don't think Obubba Been Laiden goes for the virgin types, preferring quick action and sure things instead.

[ST.LOUIE1]

Howdy Louie.
Last Saturday a cousin of Bob Dole was FReeping with us in Modesto.

Hey Diver! Good to see ya.

Freepin' with a "cousin"....cool!

Who else besides a celebrity was with you?

[Tennessee_Bob]

A person from Afghanistan is an Afghan

Oh my goodness...there's two of them in the living room right now!!!

Oh, wait...those are just the blankets we call Afghans.....

[rainingred]

I remember one time a reporter asked Dole something like " Who is boss in your family?"

Dole said "I'm not sure, you'll have to ask Elizabeth"

It's too bad his humor escaped from him when he was running for president.

[weikel]

Maybe they'll find Gore's lockbox in Tora Bora.

[jrlc]

Gore isn't available for television. He is growing his regulation length Bin Laden beard. Mullah Ali'Gore-ah, as he now wishes to be called, is focused on his new career as a pilot. "Want to fly like bird," he says after his stint as a professor at Columbia. "No need to learn take-off or landing, just soar like bird and look at buildings." As to Florida, Mulllah Gore-ah says, "No big buildings," dismissing the importance of the state to his future plans.

[The Kitten]

Dole is hilarious! Why couldn't he be this way during his campaign? Oh well, we can enjoy him now. He ought to be a commentator.

[MeekOneGOP]

BIG Texas BUMP!
just being. . .MnM
:o)

[JessicaDragonet]

I was leafing through a magazine in the doctor's office one day..and saw this: It showed Lincoln sitting on the side of his bed..with his head in his head nursing a hangover. He responds to someone standing by and says..."I freed the WHAT?"

[GatorGirl]

So that's what the Marines are keeping Johnny Taliban in!!!

[Stallone]

Ridicule is a powerful political tool. The Conservatives/Republicans have yet to fully understand its sway over the populace, particularly the Socialists among us.

Heroes like Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld use it somewhat unconsciously, and are as a result feared and respected by the Liberals.

Remember what by nature a democRAT is: a narcissistic, image-oriented sheeple influenced by groupthink, Hollywood, awed by celebrities, etc.). As such, a Socialist will shake and tremble at the thought of public humiliation.

Powerful phrases like "It's the economy, STUPID" tap directly into this rich vein of political persuasion.

The Freepers participation in "Sore/Loserman" similarly impacted America beyond all expectations for similar reasons.

Do not squander any opportunity to ridicule a democRAT or skewer Socialist philosophy - you will make a difference.

[Common Tator]

I wonder if Dole has jokewriters or comes up with things himself

Dole has always been able to create funny material. He does not need joke writers. But many Joke writers have stolen Dole's material.