Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'

Drudge ^ | 10th December 2001 | Ananova

[Don Myers]

Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'

The majority of young people think it is normal for a person to have at least 10 sexual partners before marriage.

A survey has also found that three in 10 believe it is acceptable for a girl to lose her virginity before the age of 15.

Research carried out by Brook, the youth sex advisory service, says there is a "cultural change" in young people's attitudes towards sex.

Some 64% of men and 54% of women agreed that it was acceptable for a person to sleep with more than 10 partners before getting married.

But the survey, which questioned people aged 17 to 25, also showed that they wanted more information about sex and contraception.

Men admitted to getting most of their knowledge about contraception from TV and magazines, while women learned the most from magazines and their mothers.

Half of all the young women surveyed said they wished that teachers had supplied them with more information about preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Brook chief executive Jan Barlow said: "Young people have an increasing number of sexual partners and they are saying that's OK.

"But at the same time they don't have the information and access to services that they need.

"Young people must seek out advice and information in order to make their choices and to understand how to protect themselves both against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases."

[Antoninus]

Did I understand you correctly? If you teach kids to be pure, there is not need to specifically teach them about contraception and STDs?

Yeah. Here's how you do it, verbatim:

"Don't have sex until you get married. If you do, you might get pregnant out of wedlock or get a sexually transmitted disease. Therefore, unless you want to deal with the stress and anxiety of bearing a child on your own, or the horrible pain, lesions, and even possible death as the consequence of an STD, don't have sex until you're married!"

What's so hard to understand about this?

[John O]

If God gave you the perfect mate, then there is no reason to try to find a better person or to mold her into the perfect mate. My point was that if you are unhappy with your compatibility, sexually or otherwise, it is better to find someone else than to attempt to change that person. That is, of course, if a compromise can't be reached.

just for the interested reader let me state that you can never 'mold' someone into the perfect mate. You can also never hold static the perfect mate. If the two of you are not growing together you are growing apart.

GSA(P)

[Antoninus]

If you are a religious individual, I can almost guarantee that you'll find someone.

[stuartcr]

Not at all, it means that having sex is a bodily function that we are all capable of.

[Khepera]

I was no idiot even in my youth

I am not allowed to comment on this other than to say it is not true.

[John O]

This is the first thing you've posted that I actually agree with! (something must be wrong somewhere)

GSA(P)

[Jadge]

"If the two of you are not growing together you are growing apart."

Right. When I'm "growing" in the bedroom and am left unsatisfied, we can't help but grow apart.

[NeoCaveman]

if ya can't love the one you're with, then siddown and have a drink. Or three.

Now that is sage advice....

[tortoise]

Engineering experience is transferable and perfectly mappable from one person to another, sensory experience is not. Apples and oranges.

As for the range of sensory experiences, I only pursue those that interest me and that have a reasonable cost/benefit ratio. For example, I HAVE eaten just about everything that is edible under the sun, mostly because I am curious and it won't really hurt me. Obviously if I'm told something is poisonous I'm not going to eat it unless I have a some evidence to the contrary; I'm not going to risk my life over food. But the fact remains that some people get an immense amount of pleasure eating foods that I think taste disgusting and vice versa. Clearly the perception of sensory experience doesn't map perfectly in this case or everyone would like the same foods equally. You, on the other hand, have basically posited that since you don't like asparagus, it is not possible for ANYONE to like asparagus. That is an obviously absurd position, hence why I question it.

[pcl]

So if you love a woman with all your heart and she makes you supremely happy in every area of your life but she's not the hottest in the sack, you should pass her by and find someone else?

That is up to you. The book The Pleasure Bond by Masters and Johnson, gives detailed evidence that it is the pleasure bond of sex that keeps a couple together through the common trials of a marriage.

[NeoCaveman]

That may be true, but at age 25 I don't know any females who are virgins. Not one.
I would politely suggest that you need to start hanging out with a better class of people.

25 year old virgins? Not only does that not exist (in any measurable quantity) in real life, that isn't even in the Koran either, because no one would believe that one.

[alpowolf]

Almost? Well, finally someone speaking sensibly.

[Antoninus]

That may be true, but at age 25 I don't know any females who are virgins. Not one. Many lost it in high school.

Sounds similar to the old quote from a NY elite in 1972 expressing shock that Nixon had won re-election "But I don't know anyone who voted for Nixon!"

It's all a matter of the crowd you're running with. I knew a lot of people who abstained from sex until marriage - mainly because that was the kind of people I gravitated toward. If you run with a skanky crowd, you end up thinking the whole world is comprised of skanks.

BTW, any of you who do run with crowds like this (meant generally, not necessarily you, Jadge) should have yourself checked for HPV (Human Papilo-Virus). I think a recent estimate pegged said that up to 30% of American women could have this symptomless little bug - symptomless, but a major risk factor for uterine cancer.

[Antoninus]

This wasn't a case of feminism at work, just a heartless selfish woman who didn't care who she hurt.

Sounds like feminism (or at least what it has become) to me.

[pcl]

Then if she gets pregnant it IS her fault.

You missed the point. What I am talking about is the girl who has not been taught how to prevent pregnancy or STDs by her parents. Yes, she is responsible for her behavior. He parents are responsible for not teaching her how protect herself in case she chooses "bad" behavior.

It is like drinking and driving. It would be irresponsible of a parent to teach that drinking is bad and think that the teaching is going to take so well that they do not need to warn the teenager about driving while drinking.

[tortoise]

Sorry my friend, that just means you're getting old. It's God's way of telling us we should have as much sex as possible while we're young.

You shouldn't have read that to imply that I'm not having sex or enjoying sex (or even that I'm old -- I'm not). In fact, I get substantially more than the American average of 124 times a year (per a previous thread on a similar topic) and pretty much always have. The only thing that has changed is that I treat sex differently than I used to i.e. not as an end unto itself lacking any other context (e.g. no more one night stands like back in the day). The focus these days is on quality rather than pure quantity (a pointless pursuit if there ever was one).

[Jadge]

"It's all a matter of the crowd you're running with."

Fair enough. Just out of curiosity...

Is anyone on this post 30 or under, and still a virgin waiting for marriage?

Does anyone on this board know anyone (excluding your own kids who are probably lying to you) under 30 who is a virgin by choice?

[tortoise]

just for the interested reader let me state that you can never 'mold' someone into the perfect mate. You can also never hold static the perfect mate. If the two of you are not growing together you are growing apart.

I'm going to give this important point the bump it deserves. Many, many people never get this and screw up their relationships as a result.

[Jadge]

"In fact, I get substantially more than the American average of 124 times a year (per a previous thread on a similar topic) and pretty much always have. "

Anything less than 365 times a year, and you're not trying.

:)

[Antoninus]

You are certainly aware that divorce rates are highest in the bible belt states, which by mere coincidence are also the states in which the average marriage age is the lowest and church attendance the highest.

Yes, but they're absolute rock-bottom lowest among traditional, church-going Catholics. Go figure!