Posted on 12/09/2001 9:59:41 PM PST by Don Myers
Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'
The majority of young people think it is normal for a person to have at least 10 sexual partners before marriage.
A survey has also found that three in 10 believe it is acceptable for a girl to lose her virginity before the age of 15.
Research carried out by Brook, the youth sex advisory service, says there is a "cultural change" in young people's attitudes towards sex.
Some 64% of men and 54% of women agreed that it was acceptable for a person to sleep with more than 10 partners before getting married.
But the survey, which questioned people aged 17 to 25, also showed that they wanted more information about sex and contraception.
Men admitted to getting most of their knowledge about contraception from TV and magazines, while women learned the most from magazines and their mothers.
Half of all the young women surveyed said they wished that teachers had supplied them with more information about preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Brook chief executive Jan Barlow said: "Young people have an increasing number of sexual partners and they are saying that's OK.
"But at the same time they don't have the information and access to services that they need.
"Young people must seek out advice and information in order to make their choices and to understand how to protect themselves both against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases."
Come on T. Read the thread. I have the experience. I was saved at the age of 26, shortly after I met my wife. Prior to that I was about like you I would guess.
The difference is that I got saved and I got smart and you are still stumbling about in the dark.
I've been where you are and I greatly prefer where I am.
God Save America (Please)
But how do you know you have enough experience to prove the point? You are guessing based on limited personal experience, you don't actually know and can't know. It is a basic truism that you can't compare personal experiences meaningfully. Your best experience might be considered average to poor by someone else with a different set of experiences; you can't know otherwise and it would be foolish to presume so.
Many people of today have overcome their emotions. They see each partner as a "sex toy." Men go through women with thought of commitment or love. They had might as well go to a sex shop and buy an inflatible doll. They would have as much emotion for the doll as for a real woman. Their consciences have become seared and unfeeling. They are concerned only for their own gratification.
Men and women look for each other in bars with the intention of having a one-night stand. Just a few years ago, these women would be considered sluts. Now, men view them the same way and many will not marry such women, but the practice has become more acceptable because the men are finding willing sex partners. Once again, the women are simply being used as a sex toy.
A jaded and cynical attitude is common today in both men and women. Men do not feel any sense of commitment to their sex partners, and the women go from man to man looking for love in many cases, or perhaps, just another sex partner themselves.
Even when these people marry, they do not stay together. You cannot develop a sense of commitment from a dry well. The hollow man and woman cannot bond, cannot truly love, and are pitiful human beings because they cannot experience the love for another person that brings satisfaction and completion. They cannot even trust each other.
If we are still around, perhaps, the next generation will be better. I don't know. Since the generation of the 60s and 70s have been influential in our society, we have been steadily going downhill. At this time, there is no reason to think that it will get better.
One can steal from oneself by making a bad bargain. If I give more than I realize to get something worth less than I though, I have made a bad bargain, I have stolen from myself. If casual sex is fulfilling for you, congratulations. Have a ball (no pun intended). Most people realize sooner or later that it is very lonely and empty.
If a married couple does the same thing, why is nothing "stolen"?
If it is born of love and respect and commitment, it cannot help but be more precious to both parties.
I am not speaking of 'right' or 'wrong' in the sense of morality, but more of what is most fulfilling and most likely to result in lasting happiness. Silver tarnishes, but gold does not.
Idealistic, for damn sure, but not unattainable. It should at least be an aspiration.
One more thing: I never limited my statements to women.
I figured things out at about the same age. I wasn't "saved", I merely figured out how to stop screwing myself in relationships by identifying what I REALLY wanted and pursuing it. Sex is no longer a meaningful distraction to me, in fact I would say it is largely irrelevant in many ways, though it definitely has utility within relationships. This is exactly as it should be; I have better things to do with my time than having to worry about sex and sex related problems.
And yes, I lost track of your older posts (the thread is too long to remember), so I wasn't making any assumptions at all about your past, just playing off of what you wrote.
There comes a time when you can see the trend and profit from it, or you can go about continually gathering more data points that keep telling you the same thing.
If personal experience is what you need to prove the point let me ask you this: Did you build your own car? I mean you can't trust the experience of others.
Do you try to eat every plant or animal that comes along? I mean you can't trust others experiences that say these things are either good or bad, you have to have personal experience of it.
I could go on and on but I'm sure you understand. (I'm not sure that you'll admit it though)
Centuries of human development have reached the conclusion that sex is better saved for marriage. only in the 60s did we mess with that. I found that the sages were right all along. I just wish I had profited from their experience before I wasted all that time.
GSA(P)
Those who were in unions blessed by God did indeed have good sex but it was nothing compared to the best that a Christian experiences.
GSA(P)
Yeah, great point. Except that whatever sex you've been having is obviously comparable in your mind to walking or throwing up.
I think you were typical of most teenagers then and now. Most teenager listen to what their parents say through a interesting filter. Teenagers are very good a comparing their parents actions against the parents verbal advice and directions. The slightest difference between the parent words and actions gets notices. The more notices that occur the more the teenager begins to believe that parents advice and teaching sre suspect. Couple that suspiscion with the world of non-parental data these teenagers have and you soon have a teenager who will nod and smile (at best) to the advice giving parent.
Little ears have been listening and little eyes have been watching for a lot of years. Those little ears and eyes record a lot of information. I remember things my mother said on the phone when I was three years old. I remember things my father said to other men when I was five years old. I remember hearing my parents talking about things when I was supposed to be asleep. I remember comparing my parents advice to those little tidbits I heard through the years.
I believe that every parent needs to stop and think before they give any advice to their kids. They need to stop and think about how the advice will be compared with their own actions. If the advice conflicts with actions the parent needs to take a different course. They need to couple the advice with an honest dialog their own behavior experiences. If the parent is going to say "don't" when they did, they need to tell the teenager of their own consequences for having done. The parents need to tell them straight about the consquences. The teenager will notice if the spoken consequences do not match the actions.
You may be able to fool yourself, but you will not be able to fool your teenager.
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