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How does one cope with the loss of a Wife from suicide?
Self

Posted on 11/29/2001 4:53:34 AM PST by vetvetdoug

How does one cope with the loss of a loved one from suicide (the what ifs?)? How can someone with so much life, love and vitality leave with so much to live for, including a three year old daughter, end one's own life? How do you deal with the gossip associated with such a tragedy? What legal traps are there when dealing with the aftermath, such as bills, legal issues, small things that can come back to haunt one after the fact? Suely someone here can address or post a link to a site that addresses these issues in a direct manner.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: dailyprayer
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This is my first vanity post since coming to the FR. I'd like some advice.
1 posted on 11/29/2001 4:53:34 AM PST by vetvetdoug
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To: vetvetdoug
Click
2 posted on 11/29/2001 4:57:29 AM PST by anniegetyourgun
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Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: vetvetdoug
Don't blame yourself. And accept the prayers of all who offer....
4 posted on 11/29/2001 5:03:07 AM PST by Cyber Liberty
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To: vetvetdoug
I am so sorry for what happened to you. I have no advice to give you except to just always be close to your children and they will give you comfort. As well as they will need you now more that ever. My prayers are with you and your children.
5 posted on 11/29/2001 5:03:58 AM PST by Bizzy Bugz
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To: coteblanche
I have no advice, only my heart-felt condolences and prayers. I know there will be advice from those more qualified than I. God Bless You.

My sentiments as well. You're in my prayers. Hug that three year old close!

6 posted on 11/29/2001 5:04:55 AM PST by Snicker'sMom
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To: vetvetdoug
I have wondered how I might handle it. I wish you strength. Talking with those who care is therapy.
7 posted on 11/29/2001 5:05:09 AM PST by latrans
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To: vetvetdoug
There is a book about grieving that has been a very big help to my mother and myself,
following two deaths in the family. It is by Elizabeth Neeld, and is called "Seven Choices."
I think it would help greatly. I only wish I'd found it a year earlier than I did, so do get it ASAP.
I got it from Amazon, but I'm sure most book stores carry it.

Deepest condolences and God bless.

8 posted on 11/29/2001 5:06:47 AM PST by EggsAckley
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To: vetvetdoug
Good heavens. Condolences and prayers for healing and mercy for all concerned. No advice - just plenty of prayers.
9 posted on 11/29/2001 5:07:14 AM PST by pollyshy
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To: vetvetdoug
If suicide, probably during a deep depression -- therefore logic can never explain it. Don't try.

Generally people recover emotionally from deep losses in about a year and get on with life. Yeah, that's a while, but it means there is an end in sight to the worst pain.

10 posted on 11/29/2001 5:07:41 AM PST by jlogajan
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To: vetvetdoug; Cyber Liberty
"Don't blame yourself. And accept the prayers of all who offer...."

My thoughts too, so sorry to hear of your loss.

11 posted on 11/29/2001 5:08:43 AM PST by Inge_CAV
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To: vetvetdoug
My sincere condolences and heartfelt prayers.

I've found the Psalms to be of great help in times of pain. There are so many feelings involved with suicide as well, that at times it is difficult to sort them out or identify each without the help of a caring friend or trusted Pastor.

My prayers are with you and your family.

12 posted on 11/29/2001 5:09:14 AM PST by Revelation 911
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To: vetvetdoug
Prayers for you and your daughter.
13 posted on 11/29/2001 5:10:30 AM PST by pubmom
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To: vetvetdoug
Sometimes a person is so enveloped with their own pain, real or imagined, that reality is gone. No one can reach them and there really is no blame.........Ignore those who would add to your pain with senseless reasons and gossip. Accept the hugs and support of those who love you and give all the support you can to your child. Good Luck and try to find a support group who can assist you with the non-spiritual problems involved too.
14 posted on 11/29/2001 5:11:31 AM PST by OldFriend
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To: vetvetdoug
So few words I can say. May He give you the needed strength to deal with your truly sad situation. You and your sweet daughter will be in my prayers.
15 posted on 11/29/2001 5:14:28 AM PST by lysie
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To: vetvetdoug
Put your trust in the Lord. Pray often and openly. You and your family will be in my prayers. God Bless You.
16 posted on 11/29/2001 5:21:59 AM PST by cschroe
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To: vetvetdoug
Please be strong for yourself and even stronger for your daughter.Keep your chin up and your heart open!Seek help from someone in a neutral position(outside friend/lawyer) to help with legal matters.Immerse yourself in that child and you will grow with her once again! Prayers and thoughts!
17 posted on 11/29/2001 5:23:13 AM PST by oust the louse
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To: vetvetdoug
Man can't. God can. My condolences.
18 posted on 11/29/2001 5:24:59 AM PST by wattsmag2
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To: vetvetdoug
I do express my deepest sympathies. Here is some advice I can offer about some of the financial aspects of your life: In the year of her death, you may file a joint income tax return with your deceased wife and claim an exemption deduction for her. Be sure to attach a copy of the death certificate. In the following two tax years if you do not remarry and you still can claim a dependency exemtpion for your daughter, you may file your federal income tax return under the filing status of widower with dependent child (also known as surviving spouse). This status allows you the benefit of the joint return rates, but you do not receive an exemption deduction for your deceased wife.

I would encourage you to write a will and name a guardian for your daugher in the event of your death. You should also consider nominating a successor or contingent guardian. Ask the people whom you nominate if they would be willing to serve. Buy sufficient life insurance so that the earnings on the proceeds would pay the your daughter's living expenses in the event of your untimely death. If you do not nominate a guardian for your daughter and you died, the court would appoint a guardian without knowing your wishes.

If your wife had a will, you should have it admitted to probate. If your wife did not have a will, you should consult an attorney to learn what, if anything, you need to do to perfect title to any property that she owned.

19 posted on 11/29/2001 5:28:06 AM PST by TheCPA
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To: vetvetdoug
A heartfelt "I'm sorry".

Whenever I am looking for an answer, I always go to "google.com" and type in the subject and there are many, many links to help you there.

You have friends here on FR, and we're here for you 24/7. God Bless.

sw

20 posted on 11/29/2001 5:29:55 AM PST by spectre
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