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Vanity: Worst Baby Names
11/26/01
Posted on 11/26/2001 9:13:15 AM PST by Phantom Lord
Alright, this is a total vanity. I didn't post it under "Breaking News" so relax.
My mother and aunts have been pestering my wife and I about when we are going to have children. Lately, we have taken to coming up with the worst possible names for babies and telling them we are considering names first. Well, they get real upset with some of them and even get angry with us for even considering them.
My mother in law is coming down for Christmas and it is inevitable that when she, my mother, and my aunts get together they will gang up on us about having kids. So, what I need from my fellow FReepers is a good list of really bad baby names to suggest to them as names we are considering. You help and creativity is greatly appreciated.
Oh, the last name is Terwilliger if that helps at all.
TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Your Opinion/Questions
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To: Phantom Lord
The two weirdest names I ever heard were Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa. Of course, anyone who remembers Frank Zappa, the father, can understand how these two got their names.
To: Phantom Lord
Netanyahu Bershmertnik GaliGali Terwilliger.
To: Phantom Lord
How about Louis Dufong Terwilliger?
BTW - I once heard of a little Black girl with the first name of Merconium. Her mom said it was suggested by the nurses. (Merconium is the medical term for a newborn's first bowel movement.)
To: Loopy
Check out post #85 for the ridiculous names I have personally encountered.
And my mother taught a little girl named Plasenta. She told my mom it meant pleasant in African.
To: SerpentDove
LOL - That was John Wayne Gacy, IIRC!
To: Clintons Are White Trash
When I was expecting my first, we joked we were going to name it Boris Otis LOL !!! We did the same thing, but our name was WANDA ETHEL... I knew we would never name our kid that !!!
166
posted on
11/26/2001 9:52:30 AM PST
by
coder2
To: Phantom Lord
My niece's name, no kidding, is Raven Cheyenne. She's a redhead. Go figure.
167
posted on
11/26/2001 9:52:32 AM PST
by
Jen
To: JoeSchem; Loopy
``Shame on you for naming your child 'Shame Us!' JoeSchem...that would make you a Seosamh (pronounced..(Show SUV)...suits you sir! *L*).
To: RushLake
When my young son would get out of hand at a restaurant, he and daddy would take a "timeout" in the men's restroom. He would be a perfect little gentleman after that. Needless to say after one or two "timeouts," just the threat of a timeout was enough to keep him on his best behavior.
To: Phantom Lord
In doing some research into family trees I found several on my side of the family that were doozies (first & middle names) . . .
Missouri Amazon
Pinkney Andrew
Prebble Ann
Creble
Kezziah
170
posted on
11/26/2001 9:53:02 AM PST
by
texgal
To: Phantom Lord
Plaxico......Can't remember which NFL team he plays for, but every time I hear the name (Plaxico Burress, I believe), I just wonder what the hell the parents were thinking when they named him....
171
posted on
11/26/2001 9:53:12 AM PST
by
jrg
To: RooRoobird14
Walterine! I love it! My grandfather is named Walter, as is his son (my uncle). Can easily pawn it off as honoring my grandfather.
To: Phantom Lord
Why not tell them that you don't plan on giving your kid a name until he's or she is old enough to pick one out for him/herself. Until then, you plan on calling the offspring "The Kid."
To: Constitution Day
Hmmmmm. He still has time to change it.
Perhaps my sources were wrong, and only 99.7% of all middle-name Waynes go to prison. May your uncle be among the lucky 0.3%.
;-)
174
posted on
11/26/2001 9:53:56 AM PST
by
dighton
To: Phantom Lord
And although I don't have children (that I know of), I've always wanted to try these names out if I did:
- Guinness
- Jameson
- Cohiba
- Arturo Fuente
- W. Pleasure
- W. Funn
- La Gloria Cubana
- Bushmill
- Your Name Here
- Resident
- Occupant
175
posted on
11/26/2001 9:54:05 AM PST
by
Fintan
To: Phantom Lord
Some of my favorite worst names:
Shakeesha
LaTyrone
Buford
and drumroll please:
LaTrina
176
posted on
11/26/2001 9:54:17 AM PST
by
Slyfox
To: Phantom Lord
You could go with something historical. I don't think Sirhan Sirhan Tewilliger or John Wilkes Tewilliger is taken.
The single most unfortunately named person I ever met was a sales rep for our local telephone company named Glen Cambell. I was the first person to a meeting of 12 with this guy once, and every single person who was introduced to him said "Hey, Witchita Lineman", or "Are you a lineman for the county?" Ten in a row, no lie. He must get really tired of that. I think I would have to change my name to "Rover" or something more dignified.
To: JoeGar
My wife once taught a little kid named Lemonjello, pronounced Luh-mon'-juh-low. LOL. She wouldn't have taught in Detroit by any chance? If so, I must have had his brother, O'rangejello (O rahn' juh lo). Honest.
Some other unusual names from my classes: Hammer Hatchett, Kuklamaker Mallory, Kaganovich Germany, Forrest Fuggerson (he swore it was pronounce ferguson, but that's how it was spelled for the record), numerous LaTrina's, and some first names, whose last names I forget -- Queen, Princess, America, LaRossignol, Baby, DeVil, LaToilet (la tow lay')DeMerit, and many, many others that I have tried to forget in retirement.
Regards, Lenny
To: mywholebodyisaweapon
If nobody has beaten me to it (wow this is a fast-developing thread): Flannery O'Connor's "Good Country People." Frankly, I prefer "Joy."We have a winner! Your prize is a hollowed out Bible, an artificial leg, and a glass eye.
To: TwoBear
also lived close to a guy named Peter Holder (Ha Ha) I work with someone who knows a "Rhoda Book" and "Crystal Chanda Lear". Some vendor of ours is "Dick Trickle" (honest).
180
posted on
11/26/2001 9:55:33 AM PST
by
Snowy
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