Posted on 10/05/2001 7:21:01 PM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs
In a Belgrade Elevator
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Dr Office in Rome
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In a Rome laundry
Ladies, leave your clothes here & spend the afternoon having a good time.
On a menu of a Polish hotel
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire
If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.
Ad for donkey rides in Thailand
Would you like to ride your own ass?
In a Czech tourist agency
Take one of our horse driven tours---we guarantee no miscarriages.
Car rental brochure in Tokyo
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
A temple in Bangkok.
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.
In a Bangkok cleaners
Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a hotel in Yugoslavian
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Paris hotel elevator
Please leave your values at the front desk.
First Google hit here (there are many others when you search on this very phrase)
Seen on Route 66 about 25 years ago at a restaurant/gas station truck stop: "Eat and Get Gas".
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Not a mistranslation but kinda funny:
The sign on the top of the Dover Diner on Rt. 166 in Toms River NJ reads
Actual Signs Seen in England:Sign in a Laundromat :
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a secondhand shop :
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.Outside a photographer's studio:
OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.Outside a disco :
SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME.Sign warning of quicksand :
QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish :
DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER.Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.Sign on a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).Spotted in a toilet in a London office block :
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
Good link! Engrish lovers might also enjoy a recent VOB on the subject: Well Come to Japan.
CUSTOMERS GIVING ORDERS WILL BE SWIFTLY EXECUTED
"SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING"
[must be due to the public schools]
In Prague: Please pay before ordering.
Guam road warning sign: "DENJAR!" (We think they meant "Danger".)
In Saudi Arabia a large sign at traffic circle: "The One coming From Left Of Center Has Priority." (They could have just used a "Yield" sign, which they have in other places.)
Albany, New York on an ice cream parlor during January: "Closed For the Season, Reason Freezin."
Headline in local paper reads:
"Calvary's Hooker Assumes Tucson Position".
Interpretation:
Calvary's Hooker=name of organist at Calvary Church
Assumes Tucson Position=became the organist at a church in Tucson.
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