Bin-Laden liquor store SHOOTOUT!
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WARNING: Highly Addictive
Posted on 09/27/2001 12:20:43 PM PDT by geaux
Were More Nuts Than You
Orion Ramsey - Friday,
09/21/01, 2:35:00pm
(#58980 of 58989)
To those extremists that perpetrated this crime against our nation, I have a warning for you. There are those of us who look at your actions as irrational, twisted, and completely inhuman. By all measures, what you have done can only be seen as insane.
I have news for you. We're more nuts than you, and it should scare you s***less.
You may think that when you die for your cause, you go to Paradise with 72 virgins, can leave reservations for 70 members of your family, all your sins are forgiven, and you sit at the side of Allah. Big deal. We had 39 guys who rented a Beverly Hills mansion, cut off their nuts, built a web site, and proceeded to poison themselves to death to hitch a ride with aliens out on the Hale-Bopp comet.
You shoot guns into the sky to celebrate victories over enemies, and people are killed by the bullets raining down on them. We not only do this for New Year's Eve in some cities, but we burn houses down, tear up streets, loot and sack our stores, and beat our selves senseless when our sports teams win championships. Sports teams!
We made a sequel to Police Academy 5. We gave an award for singing to two guys who never even sang. We put little sweaters on dogs. We shot John Lennon six times and didn't even aim for Yoko Ono. We think Elvis is still alive. We put Braille on drive-up automatic teller machines.
We think that a simple button on a web site that says "Do not click if you're under 21" will do anything but cause a person under 21 to click on it.
We take a large chunk of the island on which those buildings you destroyed sat and pretend that it isn't a part of our country after all, let people fly in to our airports that we want to kill, drive them in limousines to speak against us on this "pretend territory" land, let them drive back to our airport, and let them fly them back home without a scratch.
We sell hot dogs in packages of ten and the buns in packages of eight. We can't even decide if pitchers should have to bat for themselves or not. All those baseball fields we've got. none of them are even remotely the same size.
We gave millions of dollars to a guy that told us that God was going to kill him if he didn't raise enough money. When he didn't get enough money, he didn't die. So we gave him more money in celebration of the fact that God didn't make him die.
We've managed to keep the formulas for Coca-Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken secret for decades, we encrypt the most banal communications on our Information Superhighway, and yet we given away our most important nuclear secrets to the Chinese and Russians at the drop of a hat.
And yet, with all this on the A-1 Psycho balance sheet, you still think you're more nuts than us that this won't result in your complete and utter annihilation? One way or another, your way of life will be over, period.
Freedom's kind of a crazy, kooky, nutty thing when you look really close at it and all the bizarre and loony things that can result from it, but it's better than any other ideas anybody else has come up with. It's been that way since 1776, and built to last no matter how insanely we try to screw it up on a daily basis. We are even so nuts and ruthless enough as a nation to start insanely tearing at those of ourselves that even remotely resemble you in such rancorous, deplorable, and angry ways that will make you wonder if Allah has enough glue to piece enough of you back together for a flesh paperweight in Paradise.
We may not know where you are now, but when we do I guarantee you that the majority of our high school children will still have no idea where on the globe where you are or where you will end up being buried. But we will send them anyway, and we will allow those of them that went into the armed services because they didn't manage to get into college still rain down Hell and fire on your worthless hides. It will all come down on you, because we're nuts enough to give all four of our branches of military services extremely powerful and deadly aircraft even though only one of them is actually called the Air Force.
Picking a fight with the most insane nation on Earth with the hope that your message and influence will spread throughout the world, well, that's just downright stupid.
Sorry, Fred. I'm still here....
Thanks, geaux....FRegards
Well, I don't know about you ... but I don't think THAT's funny at all! I have struggled with this all of my life. It has been SUCH a dilemna. What to do. What to do.
Do you eat two weenies on white bread, or do you let 6 buns dry out in the freezer?
Good to see you.
The best hot dog I ever ate in my life was at Dodger Stadium. A Dodger Dog. LOL HMMMMMmmmm delicious.
Hey! they get cold! What's so crazy about that? OOPS! Never mind, don't answer that,LOL.
The answer's obvious: you always buy 5 packages of buns for every 4 packages of hot dogs.
Math is your friend.
Heck, anyone married to Ethel and friends with Luci and Desi would fit that category!
"We're the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We're three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock market crash on our mother's side. You take your Germany, France and Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn't give us room to park our cars. We're the big boys, Jack, the original, giant economy size new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in Cap d'Antibes. And we've got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go.
"You say our country's never been invaded? You're right, little buddy. Because I'd like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who'd have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell can't hold our sock hops. We walk taller, spit farther, f**k longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I'd rather be a junkie in a New York City jail than king, queen and jack of all you Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and s**t them out before lunch."
(From Holidays In Hell, "Life Among The Euro-Weenies," by P. J. O'Rourke.)
Bin-Laden liquor store SHOOTOUT!
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WARNING: Highly Addictive
He's wilder and crazier than yer Ayatollas and yo mamma bin lobbins an what have yew, cause he's a Texican an ya don't mess with them crazy Texicans!!!
Yes, and that's why I flagged you guys. It's time for us to start laughing again. I'm telling you, I dragged my sorry, sad a$$ around for two weeks. But not anymore. They aren't going to win. We will. :o) fsf
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