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IN PRAISE OF OLDER WOMEN
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Posted on 09/10/2001 7:42:39 AM PDT by SAMWolf
- An older woman can wear any hat she chooses and nobody will laugh. A younger woman wearing the same hat will always look like a lampshade in a brothel.
- An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night & ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.
- An older woman always carries a purse full of emergency supplies. Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster.
- An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.
- An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a herbal tea.
- The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men. (this one ain't always true - wink, wink )
- An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
- Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes.
- An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover! (child)
- Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an a$$ if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman puts herself on a pedestal.
- An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know...
- Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey.
- An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you.
- Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call...
- Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out.
- An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas...
- Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know.
- Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease.
- Older women know what Kegel exercises are.
- An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly boff later.
- Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park.
- Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact.
- An older woman has lots of girlfriends... and most of them will want to boff you too.
- An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride.
- An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.
TOPICS: Miscellaneous
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To: ken5050
An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride. Well, not ALL of us....
21
posted on
09/10/2001 10:47:18 AM PDT
by
Neets
To: Azrael
BUWAHAHAHAHAH!! Ya beat me to it. This, and other naughty Franklin essays and letters, is to be found in
Fart Proudly
No, I am not making that title up...
To: SAMWolf
I need someone to define "older" for me!" Why, older than me, of course!
LOL
To: Cernunnos, hobbes1
Older women know what Kegel exercises are. Kegel, bump!!
Comment #25 Removed by Moderator
Comment #26 Removed by Moderator
Comment #27 Removed by Moderator
Comment #28 Removed by Moderator
To: sirgawain, Harley_hog, lovecraft, Mark17
Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes. LOL! That, I'd love to see.
Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an a$$ if you're acting like one.
Ahem
er
. Never mind.
Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact.
Hahahahaha.
To: Victoria Delsoul
I ain't sayin nothin.
To: SAMWolf
I put the break point at 40. I was wondering where others put it. </>
I concur with 40, maye even 45.
31
posted on
09/10/2001 12:31:19 PM PDT
by
Moleman
(Moleman approaching 35)
To: SAMWolf
I put the break point at 40. I was wondering where others put it.
I concur with 40, maye even 45.
32
posted on
09/10/2001 12:31:32 PM PDT
by
Moleman
(Moleman approaching 35)
To: decarlo
See what you have to look forward to? Yeah, maybe you're right. I should go find a woman who's older...maybe 26 or 27.
33
posted on
09/10/2001 1:45:34 PM PDT
by
Wm Bach
To: SAMWolf
,,, age isn't really a big deal to me, within reason. What's essential is attitude. To illustrate my point, picture yourself with the woman of your dreams... and she'll never move from being a 100% committed socialist.
No, age isn't really a big deal, is it?.
To: Victoria Delsoul
Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact. Ha, thanks Victoria, but I still prefer my 21 year old honey.
35
posted on
09/10/2001 4:23:39 PM PDT
by
Mark17
To: Mark17
Italics OFF?
36
posted on
09/10/2001 7:08:12 PM PDT
by
SAMWolf
To: SAMWolf
Age really isn't a big deal to me. I'd rather compromise a little on age than on the really important stuff (freedom, guns, good morals, sense of humor, good figure, etc....)
I can't understand why some people are so picky when it comes to age.... I guess they are looking for a showpiece, or the type of person that their friends and parents 'expect' them to marry. Many women, in fact, won't even date men who are younger than them.
37
posted on
09/10/2001 7:16:56 PM PDT
by
Mulder
To: decarlo
...by the way, if the break point for women is 40, what is it for men? Sixtyfive...or in the words of one 4yo sage "OnehundredOnethousandFortyandTwo", which ever comes first.
38
posted on
09/11/2001 4:53:57 AM PDT
by
Wm Bach
To: Victoria Delsoul
Older women are experienced.***WARNING! decarlo, READ NO FURTHER****
My first girlfriend out of college was a hungry divorcee 18 years my senior. 'Twas illuminating - like a scene right out of "Porkys III, Revenge of the dumped cheerleaders".
/***Warning off***
39
posted on
09/11/2001 5:06:33 AM PDT
by
Wm Bach
To: SAMWolf
my mother-in-law called me middle aged when i was 31 so i can't define"older woman" for you. heehee
40
posted on
09/11/2001 5:08:10 AM PDT
by
liliana
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