IN PRAISE OF OLDER WOMEN

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[SAMWolf]

• An older woman can wear any hat she chooses and nobody will laugh. A younger woman wearing the same hat will always look like a lampshade in a brothel.

• An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night & ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.

• An older woman always carries a purse full of emergency supplies. Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster.

• An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.

• An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a herbal tea.

• The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men. (this one ain't always true - wink, wink )

• An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

• Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes.

• An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover! (child)

• Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an a$$ if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman puts herself on a pedestal.

• An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know...

• Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey.

• An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you.

• Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call...

• Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out.

• An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas...

• Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know.

• Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease.

• Older women know what Kegel exercises are.

• An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly boff later.

• Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park.

• Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact.

• An older woman has lots of girlfriends... and most of them will want to boff you too.

• An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride.

• An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.

[SAMWolf]

I need someone to define "older" for me!

[HiJinx]

Nowadays, it looks like the break point between 'younger' and 'older' is right around 25...

[SAMWolf]

Nowadays, it looks like the break point between 'younger' and 'older' is right around 25...

I put the break point at 40. I was wondering where others put it.

[SAMWolf]

Nowadays, it looks like the break point between 'younger' and 'older' is right around 25...

I put the break point at 40. I was wondering where others put it.

[Uglywhiteguy]

I put the break point between 35 and 40....

[KSCITYBOY]

The breakpoint is relative to a guys age. When your 18 the breakpoint is 21 When a guy is 25 the breakpoint is 30 when your 30 the breakpoint is 35 when your 35 the breakpoint is 40 when your 40 the breakpoint is 42 when your 45 the breakpoint is 45 when your 50 the breakpoint is still 45 when your 55 the breakpoint is 40 at 60 the breakpoint is 35 and so on.

[SAMWolf]

Hmmmm!! I'm 52 and still put the breakpoint at 40. I must be strange.

[Don Myers]

In looking at the listing, I am not sure this is all praise.

[Azrael]

June 25, 1745

MY DEAR FRIEND:- I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural inclination you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you will find solid Happiness. Your Reason against entering into it at present appears to be not well founded. The Circumstantial Advantages you have in View by Postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that makes the complete Being. Separate she wants his force of Body and Strength of Reason; he her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are most likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissors.

If you get a prudent, healthy wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking that Commerce with the Sex is inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice that in your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. This you call a Paradox, and demand my reasons. They are these:

1. Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations; their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Man, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand Services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an Old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience.

4. Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and Wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the Dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable by improvement.

6. Because the sin is less. The Debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy.

8. 8th & lastly. They are so grateful!!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry immediately; being sincerely

Your Affectionate Friend, Benj. Franklin

[hobbes1]

Younger women don't need them.

All women NEED them.

[Jakarta ex-pat]

Hope all is well!

Love to Philip John.

[Don Myers]

Good ol' Bennie. I understand that he got around somewhat.

[hobbes1]

Not the ones I've dated. YMMV, I guess.

They can always be better.....

[Jim Noble]

They don't swell, they don't tell, and they're grateful as Hell-Benjamin Franklin.

[Jim Noble]

They don't swell, they don't tell, and they're grateful as Hell-Benjamin Franklin.

[ken5050]

FYI

[PoisedWoman]

Oh gee whiz, thanks for the flag I guess. Let's see, what shall I take issue with...hmmmmmmmmmm.....

The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men. (this one ain't always true - wink, wink )

Wink, wink yourselves, fellahs. In about 1980, when I was already an ADULT, a spate of books landed on the shelves about the then-popular phenomenon of older women dating younger men. Consensus was that it was OK if you didn't need to lean on him financially. Younger men are always interested in attractive, intelligent, sophisticated older women, as well they should be!