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Satire: Kamala Explains 93% Of Staff Quit Because They Couldn’t Handle The Joy
The Bee ^ | August 24, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 08/24/2024 10:57:13 AM PDT by Navy Patriot

WASHINTON, DC — Kamala Harris explained this week that the extraordinarily high turnover in her staff is due to people just not being able to handle the sheer amounts of joy she exudes in her office.

"They quit because they are literally overdosing on joy," Harris explained. "Almost no one on earth can stand being around this much joy for more than a few weeks. It's my cross to bear."

Despite her proclamations, anonymous reports have surfaced that Harris actually has a tendency to be viciously hostile and impossible to work with. "That's just how some people describe joy," explained Harris. "It's so much joy, they don't even know how to express it. There is just this giant ball of overwhelming joy and it creates a joyful work environment full of joyous joy. Some people's brains don't know how to handle it."

However, former Kamala staffer Carol Eggerton explained there is more to the story. "I quit because she screamed for twenty minutes like a demon because she thought I didn't get a second pump of cream in her coffee," said Eggerton. "I'll never forget when she hurled that scorching hot latte in my face and hollered ‘THIS DOES NOT BRING ME JOY YOU MONKEY-FACED HALFWIT!'"

As of publishing time, Kamala's staff turnover rate had risen to 97% because of a recent increase in joy.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Front Page News; Government; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS:
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I really appreciate it when Kommiela explains things to me, ... like how to pronounce her name.
1 posted on 08/24/2024 10:57:13 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot
"Joyful Endings"


2 posted on 08/24/2024 10:59:40 AM PDT by kiryandil (Kraft durch Freude! - The Kamunist and The Walzrus )
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To: Navy Patriot
like how to pronounce her name.

I've never bothered to learn how to pronounce the names of two-bit whores.

3 posted on 08/24/2024 11:01:24 AM PDT by kiryandil (Kraft durch Freude! - The Kamunist and The Walzrus )
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To: Navy Patriot; lightman

Here’s the Joy!

https://www.joysuds.com/joy-ultra/


4 posted on 08/24/2024 11:05:31 AM PDT by Honorary Serb
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To: Navy Patriot
"They quit because they are literally overdosing on joy," Harris explained. "Almost no one on earth can stand being around this much joy for more than a few weeks. It's my cross to bear."

In other words, she would be the WORST person to be President of the USA. She would alienate all staff, Congress, foreign leaders and all citizens of this nation. Everyone would either quit or attack.

5 posted on 08/24/2024 11:08:24 AM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn’t become your biography, what good is it?)
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To: Navy Patriot

It sounds better in the original German: “Kraft durch freude.” You vill be joyful or you vill be sent to ze campfen.


6 posted on 08/24/2024 11:12:07 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Navy Patriot

When you tell us that this is satire, you diminish the humor that comes from the shock value. The surprise element is what makes the joke impactful—you’re shocked at first, then you laugh when you realize it’s a joke. The intensity of that laughter is directly tied to the initial shock you experienced.


7 posted on 08/24/2024 11:23:17 AM PDT by RoosterRedux (Thinking is difficult. And painful. That’s why many people just get emotional instead.)
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To: RoosterRedux

This is not fake news.


8 posted on 08/24/2024 11:54:53 AM PDT by Boardwalk
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To: Boardwalk

Nor satire.


9 posted on 08/24/2024 11:55:57 AM PDT by RoosterRedux (Thinking is difficult. And painful. That’s why many people just get emotional instead.)
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To: kiryandil

No Xaviera Hollander for you!


10 posted on 08/24/2024 11:58:36 AM PDT by A_Former_Democrat (What does the Deep State have on Dims and RINOs? Demand release of all tax returns)
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To: Navy Patriot

wonder who her former employees are voting for in november...


11 posted on 08/24/2024 12:00:02 PM PDT by heavy metal (smiling improves your face value and makes people wonder what the hell you're up to... 😁)
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To: Billthedrill
You vill haff a gut time und enchoy it vedder you like it or not.


12 posted on 08/24/2024 12:02:23 PM PDT by Eleutheria5 (Every Goliath has his David. Child in need of a CGM system. https://gofund.me/6452dbf1. )
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To: Billthedrill

Strenghth through Joy”


13 posted on 08/24/2024 12:03:34 PM PDT by griswold3 ( Robespierre and Pol Pot were “unburdened by what has been” Harris the "Year Zero" candidate)
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To: A_Former_Democrat

> No Xaviera Hollander for you!

She’s 81 now. Pass.


14 posted on 08/24/2024 12:11:08 PM PDT by dayglored (“Courtesy is owed. Respect is earned. Love is given.” - Kinky Friedman 1944-2024)
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To: Navy Patriot

“What’s our issue with her?”
“She cackles like a lunatic”
“Not cackling, we’ll call it.....JOY. That’s it, joy. I’ll run it by Mr Soros and get his approval. You guys then contact the collective media hive-mind and get everyone using the word “joy”. Every network onboard with “joy”. No exceptions. If she makes a stop, I want the place emptied and have our people brought in. We can’t risk a question even if we get to veto videos on our bought networks. What’s the Trump strategy?”
“We have some lawsuits over using music. It’s not much but it’s what we have”
“When I talk to Mr Soros, I get some names of the DA’s on his payroll. We’ll continue the Putin strategy of hauling him into court. We’ve not much time but they can expedite anything we can come up with”.


15 posted on 08/24/2024 12:13:46 PM PDT by AppyPappy (Biden told Al Roker "America is back". Unfortunately, he meant back to the 1970's)
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To: A_Former_Democrat

The lovely Xavier has more class in her little finger than Mattress Back has in her entire Town Bicycle body.


16 posted on 08/24/2024 12:20:54 PM PDT by kiryandil (Kraft durch Freude! - The Kamunist and The Walzrus )
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To: Navy Patriot

Biden’s staff calls him Old Yeller Harris’s must call her Loud and Black.


17 posted on 08/24/2024 12:26:23 PM PDT by Vaduz
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To: kiryandil

>”Joyful Endings”

“strength through joy” Go ahead and search for this mantra they are using and be amazed.


18 posted on 08/24/2024 1:15:17 PM PDT by nevadapatriot
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To: nevadapatriot

see my tagline.


19 posted on 08/24/2024 1:17:22 PM PDT by kiryandil (Kraft durch Freude! - The Kamunist and The Walzrus )
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To: Navy Patriot
Too Much Joy!


20 posted on 08/24/2024 1:50:03 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (7/13/2024:The day the Democrats and their SA chose assassination as their primary political tool.)
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