Posted on 07/27/2024 6:01:13 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
For years now, we've been analyzing the alarming drop in birth rates in the United States and most of the Western world. This situation is no longer hypothetical in terms of being a potential crisis. The United States has already fallen below the minimum reproductive replacement rate (an average of 2.1 children per adult woman) for multiple years in a row. Somewhat ironically, it's only the massive influx of illegal migrants that is keeping our heads above water at the moment. While there is clearly a valid question to be asked as to whether a population that is increasingly comprised of illegal aliens is worth saving, it's still an issue of great concern. USA Today gathered a group of "experts" in this field who surveyed childless American women and couples to try to figure out why so few people are choosing to bear children today. The answers probably won't be all that shocking to most of you, but they also don't point to any quick or easy solutions.
Lisa and Michael Harris decided early in their relationship that children weren't likely in their future.
The Alexandria, Virginia-based couple married in 2019, when Michael was 60 and Lisa 49. While Lisa made clear during one of their first dates that she "reserved the right to adopt," the couple said there was little discussion of having kids after that. Instead, the Harrises have poured their time and resources into their social life, careers and travel. Both work in cybersecurity, and Lisa said getting her two master's degrees would have been more difficult with children.
"I never felt the need," Lisa said. "I felt a-okay to take care of myself, put food on my own table, get myself out the door in the morning. But the thought of dragging some innocent by standard into that? Not so sure."
People without children offered a variety of reasons for being childless. But despite concerns about rising rates of infertility globally, only a relatively small number of Americans cited that as the problem. Just 13% of younger couples and 15% of older (age 49 and above) couples cited an inability to conceive as the reason. The modern advent of medical technology including IVF and fertility drugs is credited with that statistic being as low as it is.
Among younger adults, the primary reasons given for not having children were as follows:
For all of the talk we hear about climate change, relatively few younger people are offering that as a reason not to bring children into the world. This is either a sign of selfishness or a clue that most of them don't really believe it's that big of a deal. Concerns over the cost of raising children are certainly valid. Raising kids is expensive. Studies show that the average parent will pay nearly a quarter million dollars to raise a child to the age of 18. But the government already offers substantial tax breaks to families with children and numerous child care and welfare programs exist to provide help to those in need. You don't have to be born into the families of Silicon Valley tech barons to be able to start a family.
I think most of us can relate to the concerns of those who are so concerned about the current state of the world that they are avoiding procreation. The world is currently a mess and there is little reason to deny that. Who wants to bring children into a world that appears to be going up in flames? Of course, it's a mess of our own making, particularly these days. It should be fixable if we were united in a desire to do so, yet we seem to be stuck in a doom loop at this point.
That brings us to the most commonly cited reason: a desire to "focus on other things." At least to me, this seems like selfish, short-sighted thinking. The "DINKs," as they are known ("double income, no kids") may have extra money available to go out partying or even save toward retirement, but the day will come when they look around their otherwise empty homes and realize that something fundamentally vital has been missing for all of their adult lives together. And as the specter of old age looms, they will be left wondering who will care for them in their dotage. If nothing else, they are living in denial of what is one of the fundamental, defining characteristics of all living creatures: the drive to reproduce and continue the species. If we have managed to evolve our way past that naturally inherent characteristic, we may as well throw in the towel because the game is essentially over.
Yep.
They planted the idea..70s?..the earth was over populated..and there isn’t enough resources to feed everyone.
And if course,the people of earth are selfish to have kids.
Meanwhile,the psycho leftards did their best to make the planet a horrible place to live and raise children. You know the HANDFUL OF BAD APPLES
That right there is a big part of the problem: where you "have to" work. Usually, you don't really have to, there are simply priorities and owning a home is lower on the list than, say, staying in the area where you're accustomed, staying where your job is, staying near people you know. First steps can be hard, but entry-level home ownership is possible, it just doesn't start with the average $300k, photogenic American dream. I'm no pioneer myself, but I found something feasible and rolled up my sleeves.
These days, sellers often feel stuck too. They've got more house than they need, and it needs an upgrade or major repairs, or it's what they got in Grandma's will, far from them and vacant, while racking up taxes. Not to mention it's uninsurable and no bank will give anyone a mortgage on it. Some of these sellers do nothing, and if presented with an offer they will quickly accept it. So instead of looking for a particular area, or a particular sort of house, a lean and hungry young buyer ought to focus on finding a particular kind of seller.
It’s unfortunate. We have 3 children, would have had a fourth if my wife’s pregnancies weren’t so tough on her (rushed to the ER during the last one because of heavy blood loss). My kids are 19, 18, and 13. I can’t imagine life without them. What would be the point of marriage? We aren’t religious at all, so that has nothing to do with it.
But for me, clearly the grand purpose of life is to raise a family. It’s the only great adventure in my opinion. But yeah, it takes resources. But living frugally also teaches valuable lessons. I have 2 in extremely expensive prestigious colleges. Both on full ROTC scholarships. We live in an expensive Boston suburb with great schools. Not cheap.
We’re an outlier in our “peer” group by have 3 kids. Most stop at 1 or 2. We make in excess of 300k now, but not when we started. Just takes hard work, discipline, planning, no dumb purchases.
Our neighbors have 2 kids in college too. When we chat they’re always complaining about money. They worry about tuition but meanwhile have a BMW and Range Rover in the driveway. I drive a 19 year-old Tacoma, my wife an 11 year-old Honda Pilot. When I suggested their kids could join the military or try for a scholarship they just laugh.
My friend group in college was made up of bright, talented, cute girls. Of all of them I have the most kids but only have 3.
One never married, no kids.
One married with no kids due to hereditary health issues.
One married, one kid after miscarriage but no more due to health issues.
One married at 30 and had baby at 40.
One married at 30 but had only one due to hubby’s cancer.
One had two kids in 2nd marriage but died young of cancer.
One had only one after late marriage due to law school.
So we have a sad combination of late marriage and health issues.
However, DD’s friend group married younger and they are having multiple kids. They are smart, hard working AND conservative. So maybe some of the right people are having bigger families.
You should adopt. My sister couldn’t have children due to medical conditions. Her and her husband don’t make a lot of money, both school teachers. They were on an adoption list ( for a white baby) long wait. They finally were about to get a baby when the young mom changed her mind the day the baby was born. My sis was crushed, they had been waiting 5 years.
So they went to the agency and said they would take a black baby. A month later they had a little girl. Sad that there’s no wait for a black baby. 12 years later all is well. The family photo is funny as their daughter is already 6 inches taller than both of them. My sis is 4’11” my brother-in-law is 5’1”. I call him Mr Frodo…
Well, funny you should mention that “particular kind of seller.”
My son and his wife were trying to buy a home about 6 years ago, when the prices were taking off. They couldn’t afford a thing, and were living in an apartment we had in the basement of our home.
He then saw a listing on Kijiji for a property (a couple of acres) in the country, with a major “fixer upper” on it. It turned out to be old farmer who had bought the empty land for his son. He then had a house that was being cleared for development in the neighboring city, moved over to this piece of land. So, he had a new foundation put in, put the house in place, and added a new steel roof. The house, however, was a disaster, and he basically stopped fixing it up because his son moved away and he lost interest in it.
Well, my son went out to see him and they chatted and got along very well. The farmer wasn’t sure what he wanted for the place, so he suggested about $200,000.00. That was a good price for property around here so my son wanted to buy it. Well, no bank would give him a mortgage, it was so bad lol. The water wasn’t hooked up, no furnace, no working bathroom, wood siding was beat up and paint falling off - it sure was a dump. Plus the property had filled up with junk, couple of old cars, garbage. Not your beautiful real estate add, that’s for sure.
So, I suggested to my son, seeing as he and this farmer got on fairly well, that he ask the farmer to hold the price for 3 months, and if he could have access to fix up the property enough to get some financing. The nice old farmer agreed. So, it was only $50,000 required for new siding, new windows, furnace, water hookup, new bathroom, new flooring, new ceiling, etc. My son did all of the work himself (except installing the new windows), removed the old cars and garbage, cleaned the house, and got the financing.
It’s a beautiful property. A large pond (in which he has a fountain) near the house, now full of bass, ducks, turtles and frogs, a beautiful forest surrounding the place, which he has cleared of old trees and manicured nicely, and he keeps renovating the house, bit by bit. He got the place for $250,000, including the initial renovations, and he could get nearly $1M for it today.
The best part is that it’s 15 minutes from us and his sister and her family on the farm. Turned out perfectly, but it was something you don’t see often, and it was a LOT of work. Sorry for rambling lol.
“Tattoos and piercings complete the riddle.”
I have yet to see a woman whose natural beauty has been enhanced by tattoos. It’s like graffiti on an automobile. Just one person’s opinion.
I HATE tattoos on women, just my opinion!!
[>can’t afford rent/house
>groceries gone up 3x
>degrees are worthless
>no jobs available
>women have impossible standards and won’t even date 98% of men
>Constantly surrounded by illegal 3rd world trash bringing down income and taking up residential space, driving up housing prices]
But immigrants ARE having children. I think it is a difference in priorities. Most young people starting at my workplace have a $$$ monthly phone plan, unused gym membership, HBO/Stars/ESPN package...Ordering food delivery. Living alone in a 1 BR apt. when for 1.5x they could have a 2BR/ roommate and split rent/utilities or live at home.
When others reference the trouble with children, their attitudes, what they become, etc... I want to ask whether they know their children are/would be largely a reflection of themselves, of their leadership and parenting abilities?
There is no greater joy than to love and be loved. Children provide that in spades.
When I see others boast about what they can afford, what their career has become, that they can travel and do this or that because of their child-less state... what is loving them back? Not faulting anyone, but living a life of endless self-pursuit ultimately cannot provide the return that another human being will.
Children force you to live outside yourself and sacrifice selfish pursuits. It is admittedly harder than it should otherwise be, thanks to leftist economic policies at every strata of life!
It's a difference in who's paying for those children.
Right now, it's everyone else except those illegal aliens, and in one generation, those children will have the same negative birthrate as those they replaced.
They were brought here to be tax and fiat currency slaves.
Heh - the gal I liked the most, treated the best, had to get rid of me to act like a drunken party girl on college campus
She couldn’t figure out that those guys never had any good intentions for her beyond one night
She also couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to subject myself to a second round and wouldn’t take her back - when I figured it would just be more of the same plus likely alimony and child support (had we gotten back together and had children)
I was hoping for normal - never quite turned out that way
I agree completely - it destroys natural beauty
Yes, my 2 children (now 31 & 33 years old) are my pride and joy. However children get married, have their own families, and I do not want to intrude on their life more than necessary. During my college years, I had part time job helping nurses to serve food to patients. What shocked me was how many older patients had so few visitors. That was circa 1961. Probably worse today. To conclude, while my kids were growing up and living with us, it was amazing joy. But children grow up and we still need to create our own lives in later years.
It sounds like your life might have been very different had the manosphere been around in those days.
Young men who did not have excellent mentors had no way to understand the way many young women think.
She wanted excitement and cheap thrills, not a boring normal guy.
Treating her well just buried you.
(I made the same mistake when I was young—eventually figured it out by trial and error.)
More on the trial and error....
I finally noticed that women I ignored were chasing me....
Then I noticed that if I was nasty to women they chased me even more....
I was basically a nice guy so I had to fake being mean.
Where’s “just don’t like kids” on the list? I never see the reason I didn’t have kids. Didn’t like em when I was one, attitude has never changed.
Raising children truly is the greatest adventure. Any size family is perfect. Mine is the same size as yours, but we were the average size among our peers. We were involved with some enormous homeschool groups and met a couple of hundred families over the years. The typical family had 3-5 children. Some families had 1-2 children, and some others had 6-8 children. I remember one family had 12 kids, and two of them were adopted. A few families had a mixture of biological and adopted children. (For the record, we didn’t belong to a cult. We all just loved children.)
Of the women around my age or a little bit older, most of us didn’t start having children until our 30’s. Many of those women continued into their 40’s - without the need for IVF or a fertility doctor - and they ended up with 4-6 children. So, I always chuckle when I read comments that women lose their opportunity by 30. Maybe the statistics say so, but my experience says differently.
If young couples today don’t have children in their 20’s, they still might have big families later.
I must admit
When I didn’t care I had plenty of women
Tried to stop living like that and get married - zilch
Made my head hurt 🤕🤕🤕
(Treating her well just buried you)
It most certainly did. Much to my own hurt 🤕. Literally, actually.
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