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After Lackluster Showing, Nikki Haley Orders Bombing Of Iowa
The Babylon Bee ^ | January 15,2024 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/15/2024 7:34:48 PM PST by packagingguy

Final polling data ahead of the official caucus shows Nikki Hayley losing to Trump, which the presidential candidate has emphatically said is "unacceptable." According to sources, polling data motivated her to launch retaliatory attacks against a voter base that despises her.

Support by defense contractors for Hayley's presidential campaign has since quadrupled.

"We're all in for Team Hayley," said Lockheed Martin CEO David Rumsfeld. "It's so inspiring the way she wants to give us money to bomb people. Boy, do I love bombing people."

Iowans have responded unfavorably to the bombings, but Fox News reporters confirm that the diminished Iowan population is likely to give her an edge should her candidacy survive to the general election. "The lack of Iowa voters will undoubtedly turn the tide," related Fox News' chief political anchor Bret Baier. "Some Hayley voters may be collateral damage, but most of those who hate Hayley will no longer be able to vote against her. This is a big win for Team Hayley."


TOPICS: Breaking News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: dodindustrialcomplex; haley; iowa; neocons; thebee
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So it looks like Haley has solved the problem in Iowa using some of her contacts in the defense industry.

Sorry, but those voters for Trump just won't be there for the general election.

It looks like Nikki has found a way to win this whole thing after all.

1 posted on 01/15/2024 7:34:48 PM PST by packagingguy
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To: packagingguy

LMAO


2 posted on 01/15/2024 7:36:34 PM PST by Nextrush (FREEDOM IS EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS-REMEMBER REV. NIEMOLLER)
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To: packagingguy

“After Lackluster Showing, Nikki Haley Orders Bombing Of Iowa”

Actually I thought they were referring to the Iran bombing of a US Consulate in Iraq, considering that the first reports (at least on FR) were just as the Iowa results came in.


3 posted on 01/15/2024 7:37:11 PM PST by BobL (Trump gets my vote, even if I have to write him in; Millions of others will do the same)
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To: packagingguy

Good one !


4 posted on 01/15/2024 7:37:55 PM PST by 11th_VA (Celebrate Climate Change !!!)
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To: packagingguy

Now that was funny, but darn if I can see the joke. Because she probably discussed it. 🤣


5 posted on 01/15/2024 7:43:27 PM PST by Robert DeLong
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To: Robert DeLong

Maybe just drop a few doors on them.


6 posted on 01/15/2024 7:44:59 PM PST by gundog ( It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: packagingguy

7 posted on 01/15/2024 7:55:41 PM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: packagingguy

Bomb bomb bomb
Bomb bomb Thurman (IA?)


8 posted on 01/15/2024 7:57:23 PM PST by Oscar in Batangas (An Honors Graduate from the Don Rickles School of Personal Verbal Intercourse)
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To: Robert DeLong

She probably said it—and then two days later denied she said it!

;-)


9 posted on 01/15/2024 7:59:11 PM PST by cgbg ("Our democracy" = Their Kleptocracy)
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To: packagingguy

The Bee strikes again. Excellent satire from the masters.


10 posted on 01/15/2024 7:59:32 PM PST by zeugma (Stop deluding yourself that America is still a free country.)
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To: packagingguy

haha! I bet Babylon Bee has had this story ready for a week!


11 posted on 01/15/2024 8:01:05 PM PST by MNDude
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To: cgbg

Absolutely, that is her M.O. for sure.🤣


12 posted on 01/15/2024 8:02:00 PM PST by Robert DeLong
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To: packagingguy

.

LMAO!


13 posted on 01/15/2024 8:10:26 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (Impeachment Inquiry is necessary since Deep State is blocking )
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To: null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; bitt; ...

P


14 posted on 01/15/2024 8:11:21 PM PST by bitt (<img src=' 'width=30%>)
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To: All
BAA47774-1726-4-A9-D-BDE9-5750612433-B2 94-E0-EFBF-C9-F6-4-E47-BB16-9-A62-E8-DAAAD2 081-BED63-78-F0-4170-891-B-279-EA573-C454 97957-BFB-BEF0-4-DC4-85-DE-A57065-AFB165 A666-BEBA-626-B-4342-BCBD-5424-A8656-C9-A
15 posted on 01/15/2024 8:12:09 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (Impeachment Inquiry is necessary since Deep State is blocking )
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To: packagingguy

As a backup plan Nikki wants every Iowa caucus voter identified by vote, address and photograph to be distributed to Antifa/”palestinian” protesters.


16 posted on 01/15/2024 8:12:13 PM PST by TigersEye (Our Republic is under seige by globalist Marxists. Hold fast!)
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To: packagingguy

ROTFL!!!!


17 posted on 01/15/2024 8:42:05 PM PST by Dawgreg
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To: packagingguy

The Bee is so far ahead of everyone, including Nikki, LOL!


18 posted on 01/15/2024 8:45:49 PM PST by PROCON (Sic Semper Tyrannis)
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To: packagingguy

She better steer clear of Iowa City, as it looks like ONE more person voted for here there than Trump. That’s the heart of her enthusiastic support base!


19 posted on 01/15/2024 9:00:49 PM PST by bigbob
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To: packagingguy

20 posted on 01/15/2024 9:21:31 PM PST by PROCON (Sic Semper Tyrannis)
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