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After Lackluster Showing, Nikki Haley Orders Bombing Of Iowa
The Babylon Bee ^
| January 15,2024
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 01/15/2024 7:34:48 PM PST by packagingguy
Final polling data ahead of the official caucus shows Nikki Hayley losing to Trump, which the presidential candidate has emphatically said is "unacceptable." According to sources, polling data motivated her to launch retaliatory attacks against a voter base that despises her.
Support by defense contractors for Hayley's presidential campaign has since quadrupled.
"We're all in for Team Hayley," said Lockheed Martin CEO David Rumsfeld. "It's so inspiring the way she wants to give us money to bomb people. Boy, do I love bombing people."
Iowans have responded unfavorably to the bombings, but Fox News reporters confirm that the diminished Iowan population is likely to give her an edge should her candidacy survive to the general election. "The lack of Iowa voters will undoubtedly turn the tide," related Fox News' chief political anchor Bret Baier. "Some Hayley voters may be collateral damage, but most of those who hate Hayley will no longer be able to vote against her. This is a big win for Team Hayley."
TOPICS: Breaking News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: dodindustrialcomplex; haley; iowa; neocons; thebee
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To: packagingguy
She was starting to run out of cliches at the end.
21
posted on
01/15/2024 9:35:42 PM PST
by
bray
(You can tell who the Commies fear.)
To: packagingguy
22
posted on
01/15/2024 9:38:27 PM PST
by
Nervous Tick
("First the Saturday people, then the Sunday people...": ISLAM is the problem!)
To: packagingguy
23
posted on
01/15/2024 9:53:29 PM PST
by
Beowulf9
To: packagingguy
24
posted on
01/15/2024 9:54:30 PM PST
by
facedown
(Armed in the Heartland)
To: packagingguy
The dig on Brett Bair was brutal. Loved it.
25
posted on
01/15/2024 9:55:39 PM PST
by
Fledermaus
(It's time to get rid of the Three McStooges; Mitch, Kevin and Ronna! 1 gone, 1 almost dead. )
To: packagingguy
Given the way the real world keeps freakishly making a reality of Babylon Bee headlines, if I lived in Iowa I’d start digging a bunker...
To: packagingguy
One of the Bee's finest spoofs.
27
posted on
01/15/2024 10:10:45 PM PST
by
McGruff
(Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up - Barack Obama)
To: McGruff
LOL - love that nightmare-inducing graphic.
28
posted on
01/15/2024 10:13:17 PM PST
by
Allegra
(Less finger-wagging would be appreciated.)
To: packagingguy
To: packagingguy
30
posted on
01/16/2024 2:22:31 AM PST
by
redinIllinois
(Pro-life, accoountant, gun-totin' Grandma - multi issue voter )
To: packagingguy
31
posted on
01/16/2024 3:10:34 AM PST
by
Candor7
(Ask not for whom Trump Trolls,He trolls for thee!),<img src="" width=500</img><a href="">tag</a>)
To: packagingguy
32
posted on
01/16/2024 3:38:04 AM PST
by
SaveFerris
(Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, y bought, they sold ......)
To: cgbg
(She probably said it—and then two days later denied she said it!)
That would definitely fit her standard pattern, even if not joking
33
posted on
01/16/2024 3:45:30 AM PST
by
SaveFerris
(Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, y bought, they sold ......)
To: packagingguy
To: packagingguy
The Bee scores another, great choice Guy!
35
posted on
01/16/2024 10:18:59 AM PST
by
Navy Patriot
(Celebrate Decivilization)
To: AnthonySoprano
From what I tell Nimarata was only on the board for less than a year. She resigned when lockdowns started.
36
posted on
01/16/2024 10:35:41 AM PST
by
EVO X
( )
To: packagingguy
37
posted on
01/16/2024 10:52:31 AM PST
by
MNJohnnie
(Don't blame me, my congressman is MTG!)
To: EVO X
.
Her Net Worth skyrocketed.
38
posted on
01/16/2024 11:17:32 AM PST
by
AnthonySoprano
(Impeachment Inquiry is necessary since Deep State is blocking )
To: AnthonySoprano
Her Net Worth skyrocketed. She is not stupid. I think it likely she had some insider info and bailed. Maybe she had a 6th sense, but I doubt it.
39
posted on
01/16/2024 11:36:37 AM PST
by
EVO X
( )
To: packagingguy
LOL LOL!! Nikki the ventriloquist. "Watch me speak without me ever opening my mouth! My ventriloquism skills are astounding!"
40
posted on
01/17/2024 12:51:31 AM PST
by
GrandJediMasterYoda
(As long as Hillary Clinton remains free, the USA will never have equal justice under the law)
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