Posted on 04/06/2022 7:35:39 AM PDT by DeweyCA
To insist that any determined individual can overcome loneliness if she tries hard enough is to ignore the social conditions that make loneliness so common, Lutkin writes. In her case, there were strong economic reasons that she focused on work rather than on love for many years; she also pursued people who didn’t return her affections. And some significant part of her loneliness came not from being single but from living in a world that regards a romantic partner as the sine qua non of happy adulthood. Ironically, she suggests, celebrating single women as avatars of modern female empowerment has made things harder, not easier, for lonely women, by encouraging the view that their unhappiness is of their own making—the price they pay for putting their careers first, or being too choosy. She notes that the plight of lonely, sexless men tends to inspire more public concern and compassion than that of women. The term “incel” was invented by a woman hoping to commiserate with other unhappily celibate women, but it didn’t get much traction until it was appropriated by men and became a byword for sexual rage. This, Lutkin believes, reflects a conservative conviction that men have a right to sex.
Is this true? A less contentious explanation for the greater attention paid to male sexual inactivity might be that it has risen more dramatically among young men than among young women in recent years. In a study released in 2020, nearly one in three men between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four reported no sexual activity in the past year. What’s more, young male sexlessness, unlike the female variety, correlates with unemployment and low income. Men’s greater tendency to violence also probably creates greater public awareness. (Female incels, however grumpy they get, do not generally express their dissatisfaction by shooting up malls.) Nevertheless, Lutkin is surely right that women’s authority over their sexual and romantic fates is not as complete as the popular imagination would have it. Asked to explain why one out of four single American women hasn’t had a sex partner for two or more years (and more than one in ten haven’t had a sex partner for five or more years), researchers have cited women’s aversion to the “roughness” that has become a standard feature of contemporary, porn-inflected sex. In one recent study, around twenty-one per cent of female respondents reported that they had been choked during sex with men; around thirty-two per cent had experienced a man ejaculating on their faces; and thirty-four per cent had experienced “aggressive fellatio.” If, as Stephanie Coontz suggests, women feel freer these days to decline such encounters, that is of course a welcome development, but it’s hard to construe the liberty of choosing between celibacy and sexual strangulation as a feminist triumph.
“In one recent study, around twenty-one per cent of female respondents reported that they had been choked during sex with men; around thirty-two per cent had experienced a man ejaculating on their faces; and thirty-four per cent had experienced “aggressive fellatio.””
WTF?
I can tell you right now from personal experience, the answer to loneliness is being alone with Jesus.
Cue Bobby Vinton: https://youtu.be/djU4Lq_5EaM
I know a couple young men who would find your 34year old gal a dream come true. Sad that they can’t seem to find each other. Used to be at church, but few attend anymore.
An underlying problem, which no one ever sees fit to mention, is the pervasive effects of freely available and increasingly jaded pornography. People find it at early ages, have grown up with it, which is a relatively new thing, and which has deleterious effects on social life.
Unfortunately, it is unlikely that gal would find those young men of interest, because men have basically dichomitized themselves into nice boys, who can’t keep women interested in them, and bad boys who do not care about the women after having used them.
We need good men who are also capable of being bad boys. That needs to be taught in churches.
“In one recent study...”
Was the study done by a radical feminist? What study? Who did it?
The COVID-1984 Scamdemic encouraged more of them to expose themselves as non-thinking Branch Covidians, incapable of sane interaction with others.
I'm grateful that so many people showed their lack of thinking and still do, walking around with slave mask face diapers, but others wish desperately for the blue pill.
I've often said that if space aliens came to earth to study the human species, and all they had to go by was modern pornography, they would come away thinking that a woman was impregnated by having sperm absorbed through her skin.
Porn for the guys. Social media for the gals. Pop culture to pollute everyone. A guy can watch the most beautiful women do the most disgusting and depraved things on porn to satisfy his normal urges for sex. Young women can get all the validation she craves from thousands of men in minutes with a tiktok post. So why date and partner bond? While Becky is out chasing Chad, her career, and instagram likes she has passed up every guy that would have been a good husband until her egg carton is empty and ends up writing stories like this lamenting there are “no good guys.” And this article is a gold standard. Really, women can’t find sex? BS. As if that is something to strive for anyway. If anything, cheap sex is going to make everyone even more lonely than before.
I’m not lonely.
I personally get the idea of ejaculating on the body itself or scraping your peneen along sharp teeth.
From my male perspective with no punches pulled...
At 34, in a hospital, having attended college, and living in Los Angeles, she has met thousands of men and had the opportunity to find any number of good men to marry. I can’t think of a better dating scene than that. Even if she is Helen Thomas ugly there would be a man that would be thrilled to marry her. I suspect her standards are so impossibly high she will never meet a guy and has passed up every “good guy” when she was in her prime. Or... Maybe she doesn’t want to?
Good guys do exist, but some good women who would've made wonderful wives and mothers never marry.
I remember one woman, a Christian, sweet and kind, with great moral standards, who died in her early 30's. When she was diagnosed as terminal, her one regret was that she never married.
But, then, many other good young women are perfectly content being unmarried. Not all young singles feel "lonely."
Meanwhile, some couples only appear to be happily married, when in reality they're miserable together.
Leykis 101
Bkmk
“We need good men who are also capable of being bad boys.”
No, you want good men who can pretend to be bad boys to keep women interested. Which isn’t going to happen. Good men do not care for the type of women who lust after bad boys, so they have no motivation to try to play that game.
“I continue to encourage her to keep her standards and to be hopeful that she will eventually find a good husband who will also be a good father.”
I’m sure there are thousands of good men looking for someone just like her. She’s not looking in the right places.
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