Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

My Niece Is a Car
American Thiker.com ^ | October 4, 2021 | Cynthia Lewis

Posted on 10/04/2021 2:14:00 AM PDT by Kaslin

My niece is a car. She used to be a human being. We're not supposed to talk about that anymore.

About a year ago, my sister Claire called and told me that she was tired of hand-sewing costumes for her oldest daughter, Alice. One day Alice would beg to be dressed as a school bus, the next a pickup truck, and the next, a sports car. She told her mom that she wished she were an automobile instead of a person. Claire was running out of material and patience.

At first, Alice's behavior made sense to me. She'd loved to play with toy cars when she was little, and she had a wonderful imagination. I'll admit that I was one of the family members who found her new hobby cute. Some thought it was just a phase and that we should humor her. Others tried to convince her that she couldn't actually become a car. And some tried to bolster her self-esteem by reminding her that cars are cool, but so are twelve-year-old human girls.

My doubts began when Alice asked that her body be covered with metal. What about gymnastics? Claire asked. You wouldn't be able to bend anymore. Alice started to cry. I don't want to bend, she said. I want to zoom.

Claire reluctantly bought scraps from the junkyard and glued them onto her daughter each morning. Alice couldn't walk as well when she had her panels on (as she called them), but she did seem to smile more. When Claire pulled off the panels before Alice's bath one night, some skin came with them, and she bled. Alice said that the pain was worth it and that she wanted permanent parts installed.

(Excerpt) Read more at americanthinker.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-23 next last

1 posted on 10/04/2021 2:14:00 AM PDT by Kaslin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

A 1928 Porter?


2 posted on 10/04/2021 2:43:37 AM PDT by null and void (As usual, the GOP was either totally unprepared for the onslaught or complicit in the tyranny)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

She is “trans”...”trans-chassis-ual”.


3 posted on 10/04/2021 2:47:54 AM PDT by Drago
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

4 posted on 10/04/2021 2:51:10 AM PDT by nesnah (Infringe - act so as to limit or undermine [something]; encroach onre)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Excellent find!


5 posted on 10/04/2021 3:09:16 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
The niece is nice after her restoration!


6 posted on 10/04/2021 3:22:42 AM PDT by outofsalt (If history teaches us anything, it's that history rarely teaches anything.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
A moose once bit my sister.


7 posted on 10/04/2021 3:40:25 AM PDT by DannyTN
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DannyTN

Did she tell you if it hurt?


8 posted on 10/04/2021 3:42:55 AM PDT by Kaslin (Joe Biden will never be my President, and neither will Kamala Harris)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

She sounded her horn like it did.


9 posted on 10/04/2021 3:49:55 AM PDT by DannyTN
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: DannyTN

Good one! Nice play on the OP!


10 posted on 10/04/2021 4:01:20 AM PDT by mad_as_he$$
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I blame Jay Leno for this.

CC


11 posted on 10/04/2021 4:24:24 AM PDT by Celtic Conservative (My cats are more amusing than 200 channels worth of TV.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: null and void

No, that was her mother.


12 posted on 10/04/2021 4:56:28 AM PDT by VTenigma (The Democrat party is the party of the mathematically challenged )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

This brings a whole new meaning to getting rear-ended


13 posted on 10/04/2021 5:03:50 AM PDT by BlueMondaySkipper (Involuntarily subsidizing the parasite class since 1981, )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: BlueMondaySkipper

Oops, I see she’s 12, I’ll retract that statement. My bad


14 posted on 10/04/2021 5:05:07 AM PDT by BlueMondaySkipper (Involuntarily subsidizing the parasite class since 1981, )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Shades of the movie: Mr. Sycamore:

https://archive.org/details/mr.-sycamore

Jason Robards is great in this.


15 posted on 10/04/2021 5:34:49 AM PDT by BBB333 (The Power Of Trump Compels You!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
My sexy Italian neighbor, Stefania


16 posted on 10/04/2021 6:28:43 AM PDT by Pollard (PureBlood)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Pollard

That is beautiful.


17 posted on 10/04/2021 6:32:37 AM PDT by Maris Crane
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I thought it odd in the 80’s when a girl in the movies was named Mercedes. Things have gotten worse, and not better.


18 posted on 10/04/2021 6:37:12 AM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it." )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nesnah

I thought about this ...

the car was a 1912 something ...


19 posted on 10/04/2021 6:39:20 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

She’s not going to like it when during her next smog check they stick a metal rod up her tailpipe. Then again ...


20 posted on 10/04/2021 6:41:51 AM PDT by glennaro (Dennis Prager: "Until it's safe" means "Never")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-23 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson