Posted on 03/18/2020 9:16:23 AM PDT by RightGeek
You might immediately think, "Oh, SJW Marvel is making fun of SJWism, that's progress, right?"
Oh, no my poor sweet naive babies. They're not making fun of it. They're celebrating it, embracing it. They called two characters "SafeSpace" and "Snowflake" to take those words back from the H8rz!
Yes, "SafeSpace" and "Snowflake." I'm not making those up.
Other characters: "Trailblazer," a healthy-at-any-size obese black teenaged girl. Marvel makes all black women lesbians (yeah it's weird, but they seem to be employing the "Why have a two-fer when you can have a three-fer" rule), so let's just guess she'll be gay.
What's her -- I think -- power? Well, because we really want to Relate to the Youth, she has a... "magic backpack of divine origin."
What it does, I don't know. But it's a magic backpack, because teens love backpacks or something.
This is real. I say again, this is real.
"Screentime," who is the internet come to life, a geek "obsessed with memes." This "character," and I use the term very loosely, was "exposed to an experimental internet gas" (what?!) and now permanently connected to "the world wide web."
An experimental internet gas? What the living f**k is that?
...
Oh, and there's a "Goth kid" -- Marvel is so relevant to the kids of today! -- who was given a dose of the "living vampire" formula and so is a half-vampire. This Goth has a bad attitude and craves blood. So its name is... "B-Negative."
...
Then you have "the twins." SafeSpace is a black male who has purely defensive force fields. His twin, "Snowflake," is "non-binary" and refers to themself as "they/them." Snowflake can conjure and throw "snowflake-shaped shurikens (ninja stars).
(Excerpt) Read more at ace.mu.nu ...
Is this a parody?
Trailblazer needs to be put on a Low Carb diet, whether she wants to or not. You can guess what she keeps in that backpack; Milkyway bars, Butterfingers, Reese Peanutbutter Cups, Oh, and a two-liter bottle of Diet-Coke.
She’ll be Phat & Happi, as long as she stays away from all those
“Experimental Internet Gases” everyone’s been told about.
Unfortunately not - check out the rest of the article.
Ping.
She also was inspired to pursue a career in law by the Marvel comic book character Daredevil, a ninja who was blinded as a child but who also practices law. In her office, Quinn keeps a Daredevil portrait on the wall.
I can’t wait for the “Bedwetter” super hero and the “Pajama Boy” super hero!
Are we sure this isn’t a reboot of “The Inferior Five”? :)
LOL
No doubt to combat Marvel’s villains The Smirk (of the anti-group The Covenn Ton), Pepe, and 4Chan.
It seems that it is time to grow up, and blow off comic books as a cultural influence. We have other things to worry about.
What? Half-vampire???
He only has one fang-tooth?
To top it off, the artwork is horrible. I’ve seen better comics drawn by elementary school kids.
Hips that robust would clear out a larger swath of brush, thus blazing a wider trail!
One cannot be Goth AND a vampire. It just isn’t done.
Is this the “Babylon Bee”?
worst idea since disco dazzler
Thy need to call themselves the NPCs!
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