Posted on 10/11/2019 4:52:18 AM PDT by Kaslin
Successful women face special barriers in love and marriage, according to one relationship coach. But that doesn’t mean they can’t still strive for a happily ever after.
On October 9, the Washington Examiner published an opinion piece on, “Why super-successful women struggle in love.” Relationship expert and author Suzanne Venker claimed that “few, if any, women” can have both “power in the world” and “power in bed.” While she backed up her arguments, her piece left something to be desired by women: encouragement.
Venker began by referencing a Wall Street Journal piece, arguing that “As women have become more and more rich, love has indeed become more and more elusive.”
She pointed to an email about one of the women dealing with this very problem – written by the woman’s mother.
“I’d like to talk to you about my daughter who’s a high achiever,” the mom began. “She’s a thirty-eight-year-old, well-educated (two Ivy League schools), creative, intelligent, sophisticated, loving, successful, attractive, with a model-like body, and surprisingly can’t find a desired partner.”
While previously “she wasted many years on several senseless relationships,” her daughter is “extremely unhappy that she doesn’t have a partner,” or children.
In response, Venker urged that not only do successful single women struggle, but also women who serve as the primary breadwinner. There are many reasons why “love becomes a struggle the more successful women become,” she said, including the “pursuit of a post-secondary education and career.”
“Jumping in full throttle and making work the center of one’s life, as young women are encouraged to do, invariably means this group will be unable to take advantage of their greatest marital bargaining power,” she said.
That main “bargaining power” appeared to be beauty.
(Excerpt) Read more at townhall.com ...
"when a man hears"
I doubt that has happened yet.
Per other comments, I went back and looked closely at the lead picture.
At first, I only glanced at the picture, read the excerpt, and registered the image as presumably portraying an unusually attractive late-30s woman in a showcase of high urban chic furniture & decorations, radiating pristine & go-getter.
Funny how one’s memory can be corrupted by expectation. The article spoke of a woman who had her act together, implicitly seeking to marry up from an already high status.
I looked at the picture again, in detail. The image actually evokes, when examined, a lower-middle-class (if not poor) teenage girl filled with hope & angst, dressed to overly attract (see: stiletto heels), while the room is filled with hand-me-down or bargain furniture, low-end art, peeling wallpaper (!), and punctuated by an enormous collection of unused teddy bears. Thru the door we see decor doesn’t get any better elsewhere.
If that’s the lady the article is talking about, no wonder she’s having trouble finding a serious mate. At late 30s, any prospective “acceptable” mate would expect her to seriously have her act together, live as a competent adult, and show the world “her space” via modern living room - not an ‘80s child’s bedroom.
Upshot: she’s a child.
A 38 year old poor teenager, wondering why her prince hasn’t come.
Women used to know better than to give away their power (access to their bodies) to every boy they meet.
The supply now exceeds the demand.
A woman is only able to "pick" men from out of the set of men who have any interest in committing to her. That set shrinks every year she goes past 30.
The set of available men, who may have an interest in marrying her, and who she may find desirable, is MUCH smaller at 35 than it was at 25, as the good men get snatched up by women who actually wanted marriage.
I should throw in that men should learn how to cook as well. One way to really impress a woman is to cook a meal for her. And I don't mean just slapping burgers on an outdoor grill or sticking something in a microwave. I've been happily married 30+ years and our early dates consisted of us cooking for each other.
Believe it or not, most women don't want to become a surrogate "mother" for their men. That means not leaving your dirty laundry on the floor for her to pick up, cleaning up after yourself and cooking a meal for her at least every now and then.
Said Miss America is, indeed, living the dream. He’s a kind man with a good income, works from home, works out keeping up with her still-great looks, just gave her a magazine-style dream kitchen, etc. Model family. (Have their heated/stressed moments as any family might, but nothing bad AFAIK.)
These are women who married younger, and probably have a realistic view of their "marriage market value". This thread is about a woman who got to 38 without finding any man who suited her, and who would put up with her. Two ENTIRELY different situations.
Did you notice the little “cat-house” under the table next to the bed?
I read all the time men should learn to speak "Womanese". This kind of crap, when they say "Fine" and then really are not. You tell me fine and you are not,...that is on you. Women and men have to speak the SAME language, unhealthy women and men do not say what they want and play bull*it games like this. I don't play them now.
My current squeeze, 4 years now, she did this in the beginning, because she dated a real desperate, damaged guy before me. I would simply say..."Hey when you are ready to talk I am willing to listen, but I am heading out". For a few times I waited her out a week or so and she would text\call. She tried a few more times and after that she knew the passive\aggressive stuff would not work. Now we kind of joke about...she knows she had control issues.
Heck, I get paid to write sports columns and I don't know dick about sports.
Modern girls reaping what immoral commie Democrats have sown. Who knew this would end badly? Oooh, I knew!
One line in the story pissed me off. “A woman’s attractiveness peaks in her twenties”. Pure unequivocal BS. I have seen MANY beautiful women well into their 30s and in many cases they have the greater beauty of the fully mature female over the youthful beauty of twenty somethings.
I will say it is tough sledding after 40, but I think many women looked as beautiful or more beautiful in their mid-30s than in their 20s. What a croc.
Case in point, look at all the married women you know. How many of them are married to somebody of substantially less socioeconomic status?
A college educated professional man would be willing to marry a high school dropout who is attractive, cheerful, and has a high libido. How many women executives do you know who would be willing to marry an auto mechanic (much less a waiter or supermarket cashier), no matter how handsome and funny he was?
...because so many other men, *had*.
As I just posted: take a good look at the article’s illustration.
The woman depicted is not “successful” by any means.
The picture shows a poor teenager, hoping beyond hope for a prince.
Rebuilding the ant-mound.
It doesn’t matter what you think. She’s not trying to marry you.
It matters what men think.
“Heck, I get paid to write sports columns and I don’t know dick about sports.”
LOL! You are the BOMB!
Some women go on about "Just because a man buy me dinner, he should have no expectation that it will lead to sex. The pleasure of my company should be sufficient".
The flip side is "Just because a woman has sex with me, she should have no expectation that it will lead to marriage. The pleasure of my company should be sufficient". But saying that will often make female heads explode.
I has a few physical relationships with younger women in the early 2010s, but did not want to parent her 4 and 6 year old brats and knew they were doing this hypergamy game. Drove them crazy when they knew I was not into them as a long term prospect. Up to a year ago, still got random texts..asking me how I was doing.....aka booty call.
Nope.
Women mistake men for having the mindset of a woman, and when he fails to do so (unless he makes her tingle, in which case it gets her hot), she judges him to be a defective woman.
That's the proof men and women are different: women are always complaining that "men just don't *get* it."
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