A letter to our subscribers, from the New York Times

The Spectator ^ | 7 Aug 2019 | Chadwick Moore

[Rummyfan]

Dear Valued Subscriber,

For a mere $39.99 a month, about what you pay your Guatemalan nanny, you depend on us for thought-provoking personal reassurance, award-winning arrogance, hard-hitting sycophancy, and up-to-the-minute coverage of Orange Man – who is very, very bad.

The New York Times remains the world’s most prestigious Viewpoint Validation Service because we understand the crippling emptiness permeating the wealthy liberal soul – we are that emptiness – and you entrust us to make you feel good, smart and worthy every day.

While News and Opinion whisper watered-down postgrad nothings in your ear, Style and Dining guarantee you’ll be validated on the outside, as well as inside. Style and Dining remain committed to informing you on exactly what Brooklyn thought was cool three years ago. While the city that is our namesake – and the place you’ve built your entire identity around – might be a dead, stale cultural wasteland that no one cares about anymore, our Travel section reminds you that you’re a global citizen. Times subscribers don’t have homes, they have bases.

But even the pre-eminent VVS is vulnerable to mistakes.

As some of you are aware, we failed in our commitment to ferociously guard the sanctity of your echo chamber this week. A headline appeared on our front page suggesting Orange Man spoke against racism. While the headline was factual, it was a flagrant betrayal of the service you expect us to provide and we literally stopped the presses to fix it.

[Rummyfan]

LOL!

[mumblypeg]

Chadwick Moore is always a hoot.

[Da Coyote]

Dear NYT: Die a short, but painful death.
Do it now.
So we can rejoice.
You and all of your employees are loathsome lying liberal progressive dumbasses.
On your best days.

[Interesting Times]

Quality satire.

[Tzimisce]

For later

[monkeyshine]

Very clever.

To paraphrase Dan Bongino, if Trump could walk on water the NYT headline would read “Trump Can’t Swim”.

[TChad]

Richly deserved.

[rightwingcrazy]

“if Trump could walk on water”

they’d label him a rabid hydrophobe.

[jigsaw]

That is BEAUTIFUL writing!!!

[TBP]

The New York Times had zero credibility, and now it has even less.

[Bullish]

I don't know if they qualify as “dumbasses” they're really only imbecilic know-nothing propagandist posers. They're several levels below dumbass.

[BenLurkin]

bttt

[servo1969]

This weekend:

Snopes
"Was the letter to NYT subscribers quoted in the Spectator genuine?

False.

[bitt]

p

[MV=PY]

Brilliant satire!

Thanks for posting. LOL!

[Bob Ireland]

Grin

[Taxman]

LOL!

NY Slimes not fit to line the bottom of my birdcage!

[yesthatjallen]

Last line:

he/him

[GOPJ]

Thank you Chadwick Moore - we needed that... rough day for conservatives.