Been there, done that.
Never again.
I am always reminded of this saying:
“Why do you hate me, I never tried to help you.............”
One of my teachers growing up, a proud Italian, son of an immigrant, told me how after WWII his family was constantly sending stuff back to Italy, to family members who had almost nothing left after the war.
This went on for some time, a few years. He said his mom was getting tired of it, and his father was complaining “how much help do they need?”
Finally, they got a request to please send a wedding dress, of such-and-such a size. At that point his mother said “that’s it, no more.” End of the foreign aid program.
“Do you ever just let people have coffee on the promise that they will pay you later?” I ask.
I have lent small amounts with lots of clarification on repayment. Many never come back and it is worth it.
On occasion you find someone who understands the role of help and it is worth it.
These promisers are trying to crash the system and replace it with a collectivist dictatorship run by themselves - appeals to rationality are missing the point.
There is no charity so evil and corrupt as is the forced charity demanded by the government.
I got a kick out of Glenn Campbell’s “Try a Little Kindness.”
If you see your brother standing by the road
With a heavy load from the seeds he sowed
And if you see your sister falling by the way
Just stop and say you’re goin’ the wrong way
Yeah, just pull over, get out of the car,
and tell some woman you don’t know she’s
going the wrong way. See how long it takes
to get a punch to your face.
Great article.
Help is one thing.
Enabling is another and too often, help turns into enabling.
That’s why I won’t give to the bums on street corners holding their signs.
They can go to the Rescue Mission but most don’t want to because there are rules and accountability.
Too bad. If you won’t go where they can help you get on your feet, then no, I am NOT *helping* because it isn’t really help.
A principle which may apply here:
“Subsidize that of which you desire more;
Tax that of which you desire less.”
Just another lesson liberals wont or just cant learn...
Years ago my sister “Helped” our kids and then called me mad, telling me that they were not showing her enough appreciation... Whatever that meant.
My ULTRA Liberal SIL just called my wife the other day and said she had lent my wife’s oldest son (31 now) what added up to over $6K in the past year (or more?) now and this last time they had worked out a repayment plan and he PROMISED to start paying her back on the first of the month but he didn’t... now she calls my wife, because this is suddenly causing problems with her marriage.
We knew NOTHING about it, he has not reached out to talk to his mom in a very long time now.
Most enablers are the kindest, most loving people ever. They have poor (or no) boundaries and mistake love for endorsement.
They therefore can’t say no to any demand by a “loved one”. And they think it is immoral to refuse the addict, the over-spender, the abuser any demand. If they scream, if they’re mad, it makes the enabler think THEY are bad for hurting the bully or entitled jerk.
Empathy is not charity. Love is not what defines moral or good. And many of the worst personal choices are because we do what someone who we love demands despite what is right.
As a political ideology, social justice is maternal love turned into smothering tyranny.
“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”
By C.S. Lewis