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Posted on 03/13/2019 4:19:20 PM PDT by Sub-Driver
Army to name new attack helicopter after Elizabeth Warren
Published 12 hours ago on March 13, 2019
By Jim Bowie
FORT RUCKER, Ala. — The U.S. Army will honor Elizabeth Warren and her Native American ancestry with the latest addition to its helicopter fleet, the AH-68 Warren, sources confirmed today.
The Warren will join the Black Hawk, Kiowa, Apache, and Lakota in the Army’s impressive legacy of combat aircraft named after Native American tribes.
The Warren conquered its two chief competitors, the AH-67 Redskin and V-23 Columbus, to win the Army contract.
“The Redskin just offended too many white people, and frankly, I’m not even sure Redskin is a real tribe,” said Army Acquisition Corps Spokesman Maj. Darren Snyder. “And the Columbus, well that death trap killed people every time it landed.”
Snyder dismissed concerns regarding Warren’s Native American ancestry.
“Do you really think Harvard hired her just to brag about having a Native American law professor?” he asked.
Unlike Warren’s heritage, there are no questions about the AH-68 Warren’s cost efficiency. The Warren will utilize a collectivized fuel economy, despite the system’s legacy of abject failure. Department of National Acquisitions reports show the entire Warren project totaled only 1/1024th of the cost of the Air Force’s F-35 Lightning program.
Not everyone shares the Army’s optimism about the Warren. College students across the nation accused the Army of cultural appropriation.
(Excerpt) Read more at duffelblog.com ...
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“It’s satire. What a relief.”
Yes, but we still have a Destroyer named McCain!
Yes, but at least we can take solace in the fact that it's named for the WW2 McCain and not the VietNam McCain ...
Wow! She got all dolled up after her stint in the sweat lodge!
Well the WWII McCain should have worn a condom!
Looks like a re-engined Soviet Hind attack chopper.
CC
ATTENTION ALL!!!
Duffelblog is the Military’s Babylon Bee. Just enjoy it!
I know this: the damned thing will never shoot straight or fly a true course. Its arrival will always be a day late.
Should have named it Lying Beaver.
looks like some bastard kid from a HIND and i don't know what
If Wikipedia is right, it is named for three generations of McCains. It was originally named for John S. McCain, Sr. and his son John S. McCain, Jr., both Navy admirals. It was rededicated in 2018 to include McCain Jr.'s son, Senator John McCain.
Well, I didn't know that ... thanks.
Electronic Warfare Helicopter EW-70 Wannabee
The Wannabee will bring obfuscation, confusion, and bewilderment to OpFor and Blue Forces alike with its weird mix of weaponized half-truths, puffery, and outright lies.
Does the Sikorsky Skyhook still fly???
The Sikorsky S-64 Skycrane is what I am thinking of. Still in operation!
Also called the CH-54 Tarhe when flying with the Army...
Does it rhyme with “itch”?
Now we know what Generals are a$$ kissers.
Should name it the “Flying Asshole”. A fitting tribute to Liz “Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring” Warren.
I’ll take the old “Baby Huey” over the FA Warren. Reliable, a fighting force and heavy lifter (we once had 6 Americans and 11 ARVN troops on one).
The FA Warren wouldn’t be able to get off the ground. Too much Marxist Butt weight to lift.
Nice piece of satire!!!
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