Suspected burglar of Chinese restaurant trapped in grease vent for two days

FoxNews.com ^ | Dec12, 2018 | Michelle Gant | Fox News

[Tax-chick]

Firefighters responded to the shuttered business on Wednesday morning ...

Why? Did the "writer" forget to mention the building was on fire?

[SkyDancer]

Did you ever think when you eat Chinese, It ain't pork or chicken but a fat Siamese? Yet the food tastes great, so you don't complain. But that's not chicken in your chicken chow mein.

Seems to me I ordered sweet-and-sour pork But Garfield's on my fork. Hes purrin' here on my fork.

There's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon, The place that I eat every day at noon. They can feed you cat and you'll never know, Once they wrap it up in dough, boy. They fry it real crisp in dough.

Chou Lin asked if I wanted more As he was dialin' up his buddy at the old pet store. I said "Not today. I lost my appetite. There's two cats in my belly and they want to fight." I was suckin' on a Rolaid and a Tums or two, When I swear I heard it mew, boy. And that is when I knew,

There's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon, I think I gotta stop eating there at noon, They say that it's beef or fish or pork, But it's purrin' there on my fork, There's a hairball on my fork

[bigbob]

I’d have firedup the stove and cooked some nice bacon before getting him outy.

[MayflowerMadam]

That’s a shame.

[gundog]

Yeah. Don’t order the #2 off the menu. That might be what you get.

[RightGeek]

A worse story - https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/Decomposing-Body-Found-Inside-Column-of-Winco-Store-490659751.html?_osource=SocialNewsDeskTwit_KNBC

[Magnum44]

[ETL]

[TheConservativeParty]

Avoiding the #2 Special

[Terry Mross]

He’s pre-greased for Big Bubba.

[bgill]

If he’d only put on a Santa suit.

[gnarledmaw]

In the 80s my little brother worked for a place that got closed for taking those kinds of special orders. When the inspector arrived there was a goat standing in the kitchen. I think the owner forgot to pay his bribe. (Strange setup, this city has its own inspectors and the state inspectors oversee the rest of the area.)

[ETL]

[Libloather]

I bet he was thirsty.

[oldasrocks]

They might want to change the oil in the deep fryer. Those are not pot stickers floating in there.

[cpdiii]

KARMA IS A BITCH! :)

[NativeSon]

He's very lucky, the restaurant was already planning ‘Long-pork’ specials.