Schumer's Schoop….
Posted on 09/28/2018 2:38:57 PM PDT by Sub-Driver
Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces
September 28th, 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an emergency, overnight referendum, the American people voted on Thursday to replace the United States Senate with a room full of monkeys throwing feces. The measure passed with 57% of the vote. 22% of voters thought the Senate should be replaced by barking seals, while 17% voted that the replacement should be the pit of venomous snakes from Indiana Jones. 3.97% voted that Senate members be replaced by screaming goats. "About 100 people" voted for the current Senators to keep their jobs, with this tiny voting bloc centered in Washington, D.C.
Highland Ape Rescue out of West Virginia will be teaming up with Cornwell Primate farms to supply hundreds of monkeys and apes to the Senate. The animals will be fed a nutritious mixture of foods that produce easily throwable feces. Protective glass will be put up around the Senate for camera crews to safely film, but anyone being interviewed by the new senators will have to sit in the middle of the poo-flinging octagon, coming under a heavy barrage of projectile excrement.
“It will be a huge improvement from how things were before,” said ape trainer, Marlena Henwick. “No more 10-12 hour hearings. With these monkeys, all the fecal projectiles will have been flung in under 30 minutes. One and done.”
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
too late
They would go chimp on each other.
Oh wait, that’s racist.
No. A definite improvement.
Works for me.
Finally we will have some real action in the Senate.
Former Rep. Barney Frank and his boyfriend ought to give advice from experience with each other’s feces.
No, it’s to upgrade its classiness. Sophistication higher. Average IQ increase. The whole thing.
The Senators should go home and play on truck tires hanging from tree limbs. If we can teach them how.
No! Sorry, but Barny Franks and his boyfriend are packers not throwers.
They would not be very good at giving advice to throwers
But they could do to the Senate what the Senate is constantly doing to America.
A definite improvement.
In conduct, IQ, morals, and knowledge of the law.
At least on the Democrat side.
I recently offered three reasons for replacing Congress with elephants and donkeys;
1. We’d save a ton of money salary, benefits and staff;
2. They’d get along better and noise pollution reduced; and
3. There’s less mess to clean up & it doesn’t smell as bad.
Too bad we need a Constitutional Amendment to allow non-humans to serve.
Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces.
I thought thats what we were already watching on tv lately. Seemed like it.
If I had a tactical nuclear weapon, I’d have used it in the senate building today.
Perfect!!!!
Haven't laughed that hard since Clinton lost the election.
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