Posted on 01/21/2018 9:06:22 PM PST by Kaslin
Some of you misguided young women (the non-misguided ones can ignore me) will resist the obvious fact that you need the romantic advice of a married, 53-year old retired Army officer who identifies as male. Well, judging from that Aziz Ansari story in babe.net, many of you sure need some guidance from someone. And since your fathers apparently went AWOL – or maybe you just didn’t listen – I’ll step in to help. Because I’m a helper. And because since so many of you are so utterly ill-equipped to interact with men, maybe you need a man to mansplain things to you.
I know what’s coming: You’re condescending and patriarchal!
Probably, but I’m still right. Regardless, I don’t do the SJW distraction thing – we’re talking about you, because you are the ones with the problem. And the problem is you do dumb things that lead to unsatisfying relationships with men that leave you feeling like a heap of steaming garbage.
Now, you might object that someone ought to be mansplaining to Aziz Ansari and asking, “What about his problem?”
Well, until babe.net decided to run 3000 words of Department of Womyns’ Studies and Long-Term Feline Care mush, he did not have a problem. He had kind of the opposite of a problem. Sure, the article is a problem, but he’s a celebrity. Unless your partner in whine is a celebrity there’s very little chance that anyone is going to print an article about your sad, ugly encounter titled, “I Put Out For A TV Star And All I Got Were These Lousy Text Messages.”Some of you misguided young women (the non-misguided ones can ignore me) will resist the obvious fact that you need the romantic advice of a married, 53-year old retired Army officer who identifies as male. Well, judging from that Aziz Ansari story in babe.net, many of you sure need some guidance from someone. And since your fathers apparently went AWOL – or maybe you just didn’t listen – I’ll step in to help. Because I’m a helper. And because since so many of you are so utterly ill-equipped to interact with men, maybe you need a man to mansplain things to you.
I know what’s coming: You’re condescending and patriarchal!
Probably, but I’m still right. Regardless, I don’t do the SJW distraction thing – we’re talking about you, because you are the ones with the problem. And the problem is you do dumb things that lead to unsatisfying relationships with men that leave you feeling like a heap of steaming garbage.
Now, you might object that someone ought to be mansplaining to Aziz Ansari and asking, “What about his problem?”
Well, until babe.net decided to run 3000 words of Department of Womyns’ Studies and Long-Term Feline Care mush, he did not have a problem. He had kind of the opposite of a problem. Sure, the article is a problem, but he’s a celebrity. Unless your partner in whine is a celebrity there’s very little chance that anyone is going to print an article about your sad, ugly encounter titled, “I Put Out For A TV Star And All I Got Were These Lousy Text Messages.”
>Welcome to Earth.
So anyway, there’s not much to be said to Aziz. He didn’t attack you or molest you after you said “No,” though since you didn’t say “No” we’ll never know for sure if he might have. Doing things that you chose to do with him provided him the opposite impression of “No.”
Here’s what he saw – a girl ditches her Emmy party date to hit on him, she flirts over their respective smartphones, he asks her out, she comes over to his place, drinks, goes to dinner, drinks, goes back to his place, drinks, gets naked and plays President Bill n’ the Naughty Intern, then leaves.
I like how he called you an Uber and instructed you to use a fake name, and you just let him. Classy.
Let me break this to you gently, misguided Misses. If you want a guy for the long haul who will actually care about your feelings – because guys can do that, you know – you might not want to leave the guy with the impression all those observations lead to. It makes you not girlfriend (much less wife) material. It makes you a notch on a bedpost.
Let’s review.
When you abandon the guy you are with to hit on the target dude because he’s got more status or cache or whatever, target dude is going to have two responses. First, pride, because he lifted a girl from another guy and has demonstrated some level of studliness. He’s also going to think you’re a stone golddiggin’ hootchie.
This is a poor way to attempt to ignite a long-term romance, ladies.
Then when you agree to a date – bravo for at least having a date rather than the modern “Let’s sorta hang out maybe” thing that’s apparently a thing – you meet him at…his place? Okay, why are you letting him treat you like someone who comes over to his place to please him? If he won’t come get you, or meet you somewhere for your first date, disqualify him.
“But,” you might protest. “I am a powerful, empowered woman of grrlpower and I should be able to meet a man at his place!”
You sure can. You can do whatever you want. It’s just a bad idea and you should demand to be treated better.
So, you are at his place and he serves you red wine instead of white. First, guys, ask the lady what she wants. Try to show some class. But ladies, if you don’t like red wine, don’t drink it then complain later because you drank it.
Once you eat and go back to his place, don’t go back to his place. Stop. That indicates that you may be interested in being at his place, and all that entails. He sure hopes it does, so you are already dealing with a guy with expectations – which he has whether that’s feminist-approved or not. Instead of keeping your differing expectations to yourself, share them. Tell him, and do not do what you don’t want to do.
Grace babbled about “non-verbal cues.” But what she was doing seemed to be pretty unequivocal non-verbal cues themselves.
Yes, saying “No” clearly and unequivocally may cause him to not like you. He may decide to seek more accommodating companions. That’s the risk you take. Fair? Nope. And?
Act like an adult. Say what you want, and don’t do what you don’t want. Your life will be immeasurably better.
Now, one more thing. That article notes that Aziz went to some awards thing recently wearing a pin symbolizing his solidarity with the women speaking up in the wake of the #MeToo revelations. He’s a liberal. So were Ted Kennedy, and JFK, and Harvey Weinstein, and Al Franken, and all these other loathsome creeps. Remember that wokeness is a pose designed to fool you.
Now, clearly I am the worst human being who ever existed for pointing out these obvious, manifest truths, and for refusing to regard Grace and her ilk as post-adolescent infants who have no ability to make their own choices. Hate me if you want. Make some lame analogy to The Handmaid’s Tale, the dumbest non-Harry Potter book ever written. But do what I’ve told you anyway…or not. Your choice.
Basically, advice we girls got in Bible Camp as teenagers in the ‘60s; it still works.
Leonardo DiCaprio would phrase that just very slightly differently...
This incident is a collision of Celebrity and Slut cultures. In celebrity culture men are used to gold diggers, wannabe actresses etc looking for a rich high profile guy for fun, profit or just bragging rights. As Trump said they will let you do anything to them. Rich guys know this and take advantage.
Slut culture is where feminist women want to prove that they can (and should be) as sexually active as men. This philosopy has become endemic among young women to the point where “sex on the second date” has become standard. The 2 date standard is great for men but puts alot of pressure on women to “give it up” before they may feel comfortable doing so. After all they are competing with girls who WILL do it and men know this. Face it girls, a large percentage of you can be had for the price of a $40 gift certificate at Applebees.
So the minor celeb and slut culture girl go on a date. He assumes that sex is a certainty based on the experiences of his real celeb acquaintances and she thinks she has one more date before she has to put out. Hilarity ensues.
PS I find both of these cultures despicable and do not approve of either of them.
Very apt summation.
Roger Moore’s movie Ffolkes comes to mind.
Good flick.
The one that has something to do with a dime?
C’mon, FRiend, tell us stories!
How about we all go back to no fornication and no adultery, period? It would make life so much simpler and less sinful for everyone. Women have the power to make this happen if they want to.
I couldn’t agree more!
I think, we have all the power to make this happen! Ball’s in our court and always has been. The Ancient Greek play by Aristophanes: “Lysistrata” about women who withhold sex from men to stop the Peloponnesian Wars...
Men have the power to make this happen too.
Some have no idea I'm not.
Slut culture is where feminist women want to prove that they can (and should be) as sexually active as men.
ALL guys know this and take advantage.
I never got slapped but a few gentle reminders.
"Kiss it." - Bill Clinton after having police bring a woman to his hotel room and dropping trou.
Neither of those are technically rape either so don't be bitching about it when some scumbag does it to you, your daughter, your sister, etc.
#DefiningDeviancyDownward
#DefendingPervyPerpsOnFR
This situation has nothing in common with a governor using his power over an underlying.
The woman in question here went to the guys apartment and willingly undressed and admits she never told the guy no during every thing that followed.
So is he supposed to read her mind?
We don’t see eye to eye on this. You defend a sleaze. She DID reject his advances numerous times that night.
You are stronger. Good for you.
Tell those girls who got fingered by their doctor on the Olympic team that they didn’t say no either.
Creep.
But the point remains that she, of her own free will and agency stayed with him and participated, and never said no. How is he supposed to know that taking off your clothes and making out means “no, I don’t want to make out naked,” (and whatever else followed.) 
Many decades ago at the beginning of the “sexual revolution” I would tell men that I never had sex before the third date, and not necessarily then. Some never asked for the second date and my though was “Good, no time wasted.” I would kiss, and snuggle. Sometimes taste and smell would be a turnoff. I dated one nice man, but when we snuggled and touched, he felt like my father—same body build and hair texture and color. On the second date I told him there was no point in continuing as I could never get past the incest feeling. Since then, married for over 40 years, partner for over 10 years after death of husband. Probably will be together until one of us dies.
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