Posted on 01/21/2018 9:06:22 PM PST by Kaslin
Some of you misguided young women (the non-misguided ones can ignore me) will resist the obvious fact that you need the romantic advice of a married, 53-year old retired Army officer who identifies as male. Well, judging from that Aziz Ansari story in babe.net, many of you sure need some guidance from someone. And since your fathers apparently went AWOL – or maybe you just didn’t listen – I’ll step in to help. Because I’m a helper. And because since so many of you are so utterly ill-equipped to interact with men, maybe you need a man to mansplain things to you.
I know what’s coming: You’re condescending and patriarchal!
Probably, but I’m still right. Regardless, I don’t do the SJW distraction thing – we’re talking about you, because you are the ones with the problem. And the problem is you do dumb things that lead to unsatisfying relationships with men that leave you feeling like a heap of steaming garbage.
Now, you might object that someone ought to be mansplaining to Aziz Ansari and asking, “What about his problem?”
Well, until babe.net decided to run 3000 words of Department of Womyns’ Studies and Long-Term Feline Care mush, he did not have a problem. He had kind of the opposite of a problem. Sure, the article is a problem, but he’s a celebrity. Unless your partner in whine is a celebrity there’s very little chance that anyone is going to print an article about your sad, ugly encounter titled, “I Put Out For A TV Star And All I Got Were These Lousy Text Messages.”Some of you misguided young women (the non-misguided ones can ignore me) will resist the obvious fact that you need the romantic advice of a married, 53-year old retired Army officer who identifies as male. Well, judging from that Aziz Ansari story in babe.net, many of you sure need some guidance from someone. And since your fathers apparently went AWOL – or maybe you just didn’t listen – I’ll step in to help. Because I’m a helper. And because since so many of you are so utterly ill-equipped to interact with men, maybe you need a man to mansplain things to you.
I know what’s coming: You’re condescending and patriarchal!
Probably, but I’m still right. Regardless, I don’t do the SJW distraction thing – we’re talking about you, because you are the ones with the problem. And the problem is you do dumb things that lead to unsatisfying relationships with men that leave you feeling like a heap of steaming garbage.
Now, you might object that someone ought to be mansplaining to Aziz Ansari and asking, “What about his problem?”
Well, until babe.net decided to run 3000 words of Department of Womyns’ Studies and Long-Term Feline Care mush, he did not have a problem. He had kind of the opposite of a problem. Sure, the article is a problem, but he’s a celebrity. Unless your partner in whine is a celebrity there’s very little chance that anyone is going to print an article about your sad, ugly encounter titled, “I Put Out For A TV Star And All I Got Were These Lousy Text Messages.”
>Welcome to Earth.
So anyway, there’s not much to be said to Aziz. He didn’t attack you or molest you after you said “No,” though since you didn’t say “No” we’ll never know for sure if he might have. Doing things that you chose to do with him provided him the opposite impression of “No.”
Here’s what he saw – a girl ditches her Emmy party date to hit on him, she flirts over their respective smartphones, he asks her out, she comes over to his place, drinks, goes to dinner, drinks, goes back to his place, drinks, gets naked and plays President Bill n’ the Naughty Intern, then leaves.
I like how he called you an Uber and instructed you to use a fake name, and you just let him. Classy.
Let me break this to you gently, misguided Misses. If you want a guy for the long haul who will actually care about your feelings – because guys can do that, you know – you might not want to leave the guy with the impression all those observations lead to. It makes you not girlfriend (much less wife) material. It makes you a notch on a bedpost.
Let’s review.
When you abandon the guy you are with to hit on the target dude because he’s got more status or cache or whatever, target dude is going to have two responses. First, pride, because he lifted a girl from another guy and has demonstrated some level of studliness. He’s also going to think you’re a stone golddiggin’ hootchie.
This is a poor way to attempt to ignite a long-term romance, ladies.
Then when you agree to a date – bravo for at least having a date rather than the modern “Let’s sorta hang out maybe” thing that’s apparently a thing – you meet him at…his place? Okay, why are you letting him treat you like someone who comes over to his place to please him? If he won’t come get you, or meet you somewhere for your first date, disqualify him.
“But,” you might protest. “I am a powerful, empowered woman of grrlpower and I should be able to meet a man at his place!”
You sure can. You can do whatever you want. It’s just a bad idea and you should demand to be treated better.
So, you are at his place and he serves you red wine instead of white. First, guys, ask the lady what she wants. Try to show some class. But ladies, if you don’t like red wine, don’t drink it then complain later because you drank it.
Once you eat and go back to his place, don’t go back to his place. Stop. That indicates that you may be interested in being at his place, and all that entails. He sure hopes it does, so you are already dealing with a guy with expectations – which he has whether that’s feminist-approved or not. Instead of keeping your differing expectations to yourself, share them. Tell him, and do not do what you don’t want to do.
Grace babbled about “non-verbal cues.” But what she was doing seemed to be pretty unequivocal non-verbal cues themselves.
Yes, saying “No” clearly and unequivocally may cause him to not like you. He may decide to seek more accommodating companions. That’s the risk you take. Fair? Nope. And?
Act like an adult. Say what you want, and don’t do what you don’t want. Your life will be immeasurably better.
Now, one more thing. That article notes that Aziz went to some awards thing recently wearing a pin symbolizing his solidarity with the women speaking up in the wake of the #MeToo revelations. He’s a liberal. So were Ted Kennedy, and JFK, and Harvey Weinstein, and Al Franken, and all these other loathsome creeps. Remember that wokeness is a pose designed to fool you.
Now, clearly I am the worst human being who ever existed for pointing out these obvious, manifest truths, and for refusing to regard Grace and her ilk as post-adolescent infants who have no ability to make their own choices. Hate me if you want. Make some lame analogy to The Handmaid’s Tale, the dumbest non-Harry Potter book ever written. But do what I’ve told you anyway…or not. Your choice.
There was naughtiness all around before it got this openly crude and coarse. I hope you wouldn’t have replayed all that led up to this. Of course if you did, you might have been compromised that you couldn’t even think.
I’m surprised someone hasn’t released her name yet with all the stories out there. She makes herself look really bad (and him too).
She could be engaging in coitus and get up to leave before completion and at that point of not letting her leave, it would become rape.
There was a man this month who was violently assaulted by a woman who was po-ed that he decided NOT to finish the act.
He said, give me oral sex. She agreed. He said lets get undressed. She agreed.
She never said no. She never said stop. She never said don’t.
Where I come from, I’d say she was all in.
That might be part of it, but at least as big a problem is the male side of the equation. Guys talk too. And friends, brothers, fathers, and uncles are often telling males to avoid marriage like the plague.
To have a marriage, both parties have to be willing to say “I do” at least once. And now we have a culture where a near majority of kids are born to an unmarried mother and are unlikely to have had any experience with marriage, good or bad.
But it’s better if they get married then divorce, because then they can get alimony. Basically lifetime payments for doing nothing.
When my sons were teens, my husband was not paying much attention to their development needs. When they were each about 13, I had two long conversations with each. The first were about all the biological, medical aspects related to sex and reproduction. The second was about the emotional pressures and needs of males and females I also told them it was not wise to engage in sex until mature and preferably married, but that we would be very angry if they got someone pregnant. I also told them where we kept our condoms. My one son was a real social operator and I could hear him headed for our bureau upstairs some nights when he had a date. They both got married in their late 20s, and have children and are still married to the same woman in their mid/late 40s.
“Where I come from, I’d say she was all in.”
It was very rude of her to present herself as somebody who already had her mind made up. Look before you leap but once you’ve taken that step, the gravity of the situation is what it is and you have to be an adult about it. No changing your mind mid-stroke!
And as a male who wasn’t looking for a one night stand, when I came across a young woman who acted like this one I had zero interest. I knew she had just come from someone else’s bed and her stay in mine would be short before hopping into the next.
Amen.
The stories I could tell about my experiences with single women these past 18 months since I've been single again myself. I'm a gentleman though, so I won't other than to say I'm NOT surprised by the above comment.
It sure is. I slapped a guy once in the face, and then ran as fast as I could.
In a nut, right there. I have never understood this. If someone is invited to a private place behind a closed door and that invitation is accepted, in this context (male or female) there are certain default expectations.
I may be old fashioned in this respect, but if a girl invites a guy upstairs on a first date, she is sending a message. I expect the guy may invite the gal up, and if she accepts, she is sending another message. (It is a given the guy is sending a message by issuing the invitation. Of course, it might be simple, platonic, desire for discussion and coffee.) Uh huh.
I'd say he was too.
I had no idea you were a woman.
Not that it means much...just that I’ve seen a million of your threads and posts without catching a clue.
Admirable.
“Remember that wokeness is a pose designed to fool you.“
Man, I love this guy.
L
Col Schlichter is awesome
Sigh. I read this account, and all I could think was, after I read that passage you posted was...I come from a different planet.
You go up to his place. Check.
You let him give you oral sex. Check.
Then you give him oral sex. Check.
So she gets to vilify him in public. I have no opinion on this man one way or another, don’t know who he is.
But I would say she should not the only aggrieved party in the public eye here.
I can hardly believe I am reading this and writing this. In a saner time, people would say “He isn’t any gentleman for asking her upstairs, and she isn’t any lady for going.” He is a boor for not stopping, but as a guy, in the absence of “No”
And the further down the “story” I go, the less sympathy I have for her. Like I said, I have no idea who this guy is, but in the context of a male/female thing I find it fairly irritating.
With actions come responsibility.
As a woman, she has the responsibility NOT to agree to go in a private domicile behind closed doors alone with a man since she will encounter the horns of a dilemma: a) Prepare to fully engage in sexual activity or b) Has an agreement spelled out clearly specifying otherwise.
I read this, and it sounds like she wanted to try to ride between the horns instead of picking one to be impaled on. Riding between the horns generally doesn’t work, which is why it is not a “Horns or Between the Horns Dilemma”.
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