Posted on 12/28/2016 5:01:29 AM PST by God luvs America
WESTON – In a startling development for the Rock n Roll community, world famous Rolling Stones guitarist and songwriter Keith Richards was found alive on Wednesday. Crew members said they found his animated body sitting beside an amp, picking at a guitar and murmuring some incomprehensible melody. Shocked but elated, the roadies took Richards back to the dressing rooms and covered his old broken body with designer scarves and skull rings.
“It’s astounding” said longtime Rolling Stones roadie Steve Kruger, “to find him in this state is…well, it’s unexpected to say the least.” Richards, the grizzly-faced guitarist long thought to be the most likely person on the planet to next kick the bucket, was noodling on a 5-string fender when he was found miraculously still conscious. “At first I thought it was some 200-year old giant turtle that crawled in here, or a wrinkly sack of potatoes with somebody inside,” recalled Kruger. “But no! There he was, strumming away on a few opening chords to ‘Start Me Up.’ What I was seeing looked awful, but unmistakable. When I realized it was Keith, I thought it might be one of those holograms like they created for Michael Jackson and 2Pac at Bonnaroo music fest a few years back. But then I touched him and he screamed ‘what the hell do you want!?’, and I knew.”
“...married to Patti Hansen since 1983...”
In his autobio, he said he never cared for groupies and mostly avoided them; he didn’t like being just another rock star notched on **their** bedposts.
A famous FReeper once said that if he went before Richards, he would speak to the Lord.
RIP FRiend.
5.56mm
Yes it is. You can’t buy a doghouse around here for $80K.
Ironically he has now outlived a much younger Carrie Fisher ,who “partied”with thw Stones in the 70s-80s.
He’s still living on heavily-borrowed time; it’ll run out soon enough.
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